Top 10 Times Gloria was the Best Character on Modern Family

Gloria is nothing if not an amazing mom, though she can sometimes coddle her children a little too much. Thankfully, she also knows when to push them out of their comfort zone. This season one episode is a perfect example of such. Manny is afraid of roller coasters, so when he gets invited to a birthday at a theme park, he doesn’t want to go. Gloria tricks both him and Jay under the guise of a fishing trip and the three of them end up at the amusement park, where (with a little taunting) she manages to get not only Manny but also Jay to face his fears.

In this episode, Gloria becomes frustrated when both men in her life won’t accept help from her. It ends up being Claire, finally, who sits still long enough to let Gloria give one of her more… roundabout, but also encouraging, pep-talks. Earlier, Claire decided to run for city council, but was inevitably discouraged after Phil had a few parenting mishaps. In truth, though, Claire’s more afraid about losing the election than about Phil’s parenting skills. Gloria gives her the advice she needs and Claire decides to keep running. As it turns out, Gloria really does have all the answers...

At the Delgado-Pritchett residence, Jay and Gloria host a yard sale in order to help out in Manny and Luke’s school fundraiser. An old case from the attic finds its way out into the yard, among the things for sale, and Gloria becomes very defensive over it. She refuses to say what’s in the case; only that it’s from Colombia and not to ask any further questions. Naturally, Manny and Luke seek out the case and find an old ventriloquist’s dummy in it. Turns out, it’s from Gloria’s beauty pageant days, and ventriloquism was her act for the talent portion. It’s pretty amazing hearing her Uncle Grumpy voice, and the fact that he bears a suspicious resemblance to Jay is just the cherry on top!

Gloria is certainly someone who takes pride in her appearance. It’s no secret that she’s drop-dead gorgeous, but she also puts a lot of effort into how she looks. This effort goes unreciprocated when Jay starts to get a little too comfortable in tracksuits and giant glasses. Jay is insistent that Gloria doesn’t dress up for him--in fact, he wouldn’t even mind it if she started toning it down a little. Gloria does exactly that on the day Jay has a big dinner with clients. She ends up getting him to admit that, actually, he does like that she gets all dolled up. But, she also makes sure to remind him of how much she’s attracted to him. Yeah, we all need to hear it sometimes.

Gloria is always two steps ahead of everyone and this episode is a hilarious reminder of that. Luke and Manny think they’re pretty slick when they choreograph an argument to steal Gloria’s tequila bottle and throw her off their scent--which would have been pretty strong if the bottle was actually filled with tequila. Gloria swaps it out with water before the boys even have the chance to take it. When they later start feeling placebo effects of intoxication, Gloria takes it even further by pretending there was a deadly worm inside the bottle. The only cure is pickle juice or an ice bath--and they’re all out of pickle juice. Gloria catches them in the tub together, and blackmails them into never underage drinking again.

This is probably one of the funniest scenes in the whole show. Gloria’s absolutely hysterical and Sofia Vergara seemed to think so too, because she had quite a bit of trouble getting through the scene without bursting into giggles. Gloria cuts Phil’s hair and, as usually happens between hairdressers and their clients, Phil begins to talk about his personal life. He’s done something to upset Claire but he can’t figure out what. Well, actually, he’s done more than one thing, and Gloria is absolutely not having it. Just remember, you dislike this video [SB: Gloria: “and I kill you!”].

By season six, Haley’s track record for messing things up is almost longer than her hair is. Which is why, even though her boss, Gavin Sinclair, is an absolute jackass to her, she puts up with it. Gloria, on the other hand, has zero tolerance for disrespect, regardless of the circumstances. Just as Haley is likely about to be fired, Gloria offers to apologize to Mr. Sinclair in the hopes of smoothing things over. So, okay, maybe her apology sounds a little bit more like a threat, but potayto, potahto, right? Plus, Gavin totally deserved to be taken down a peg. Go, Gloria!

Alex can’t exactly go to her mom for the more... scandalous things teenagers want to talk about. Luckily, Gloria’s a pretty great substitute. She’s young, cool, and open enough to answer all of Alex’s personal questions. Plus, she gives Alex the confidence boost she needs to feel comfortable wearing a dress, which she had previous reservations about. Alex is just entering teenagehood at this point in the series, so this talk with Gloria is super important. Not only is she not condescending, but Gloria also reminds Alex just how beautiful she is.

Have you ever had to go to the bathroom really bad but you’re in a situation where you have to hold it? Imagine doing that with a baby! It’s Manny’s birthday and the family throws him a surprise party, which is especially significant because it’s his last birthday before his brother will be born. However, it’s such a surprise that Manny brings home a girl, thinking they’ll be alone for the night. She gets spooked when the whole family is revealed to be waiting there, and Manny, totally embarrassed, locks himself in his room. Unfortunately, Gloria goes into labor at that very moment. She refuses to spoil Manny’s birthday any further, but babies aren’t exactly known for their patience. Still, it was sweet of her to try!

Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions.

When She Got Even With Jay, “The Kiss”
Revenge Is a Dish Best Served With a Side of Embarrassment

When She Learned to Ride a Bike, “​​Slow Down Your Neighbors”
Luke May Have Had a Hand in Making This Moment So Awesome

When She Shot the Drone, "Closet? You'll Love It!"
Gloria's a Dead Shot & We Love Her for It

Her Halloween Ha-Ha , "Halloween"
Gloria’s American Accent is Spook-tacular!

Gloria obviously has a bone to pick with Stella (get it?), but in this episode we see just how much she cares about her. Stella keeps jumping in the pool despite not knowing how to swim, and Jay blames Gloria. According to him, Gloria’s constant yelling and hatred for Stella is the reason for the dog’s… self-destructive tendencies. Gloria’s pretty unconvinced, but by the end of the episode, she finds herself talking Stella off the ledge--the pool ledge, that is--and admitting she doesn’t actually hate her. Still, Stella jumps in the pool and Gloria, evening gown and all, jumps in right after to save her. Cue the “aww”s!