Top 10 TV Characters We Wouldn't Have Taken Back

The basic premise of this entire show is that Joe is a stalker. After meeting Guinevere Beck, he soon becomes obsessed with her, following her every move, stealing her phone, and interfering with her personal life. Oh, and murdering anyone and everyone who comes between them. Although Beck doesn’t catch on initially, she does break up with him after the “apparent suicide” of one of her friends, only to get back with Joe not long after. When she does figure out who and what he is, though, it’s not long until she’s another victim.

We’re honestly not sure how “Eric Northman or Bill Compton” was ever a legitimate dilemma for Sookie Stackhouse. The heroine’s two love interests may have both been vampires, but Bill was quantifiably worse. From the very beginning, their relationship is built on a lie since he was sent to gain her trust and had her beaten half to death so he could “save” her and feed her his blood; creating an artificial bond to him. And Bill only got more villainous as the show went on. Plus, the weirdo couldn’t even pronounce her name right.

Speaking of vampire love interests… Look, we love Spike as much as the next folks, really. He’s funny and oozes charisma. But, he’s still a wanker. Firstly, Spike is, for most of the show’s run, a soulless vampire with no conscience who delights in murder and torment. Granted, he becomes a sort of ally to Buffy and eventually starts a purely physical relationship with her, but he’s definitely no saint. During the aforementioned relationship, they have a rather problematic series of hookups where Buffy resists him. Except, Spike eventually tries to have sex with Buffy and her reluctance is emphatic. Even though the incident drives Spike to reclaim his soul, trusting an attempted rapist again seems like a difficult prospect, no matter the circumstances.

Ted may be the protagonist and narrator of this sitcom, but it’s really hard to root for him a lot of the time. Despite claiming to be looking for “the one,” Ted spends almost as much time as his horndog friend Barney picking up random women, and he’s not nearly as entertaining about it. Then there’s the several women he gets back together with multiple times during the show, like his friend Robin, who has received repeated proof they’re wrong for each other, or Victoria, who takes him back, despite cheating on her with Robin, and whom he whisks away to leave her fiancée at the altar, despite the same thing happening to Ted! Ever heard of empathy, buddy?

Cole Turner is a half-demon anti-villain and the occasional love interest of Phoebe, one of this show’s trio of eponymous charmed witches. Initially, Cole pursues Phoebe in order to spy on and/or kill she and her sisters. Although a genuine affection develops between them and Cole tries redeeming himself, he’s continually tempted by his darker nature and continues to manipulate Phoebe, trying to corrupt her, brainwash her, or else try to kill her sisters. Even after death, the guy can’t stop meddling in her life. Some guys just can’t take a hint.

Ross and Rachel may have been the big “will they/won’t they” couple of “Friends,” but, in hindsight, we kind of wish they hadn’t: and mostly because of Ross. Before and after they get together, Ross attempts to sabotage her relationships with other men. They have trouble getting together partially because he doesn’t respect her profession. Once they reconcile, however, he can’t handle her new career, and cheats on her; leading to another break-up. They later get drunkenly married and he doesn’t annul it, despite telling her he did. Then when Rachel is poised to get her dream job in Paris, she decides to stay with Ross regardless of their toxic history! And that’s just scratching the surface! Maybe Joey would’ve been better…

One half of many people’s favorite(?) (really?) relationship from this show is actually a complete monster. Chuck Bass, besides being incredibly full of himself, is also controlling, manipulative, and at least a serial attempted rapist - not to mention that actor Ed Westwick himself has even faced rape allegations. He constantly torments his nominal love interest Blair in ways that would be utterly unforgivable in real life, like turning her into a social outcast or prostituting her to his uncle and then gaslighting her about it. And worst of all, he gets away with most of these things, so Blair, and “Gossip Girl” fans, just let it slide. Not being caught doesn’t mean someone isn’t a criminal.

Mr. Big may be Carrie’s most recurring love interest, but he’s less of her one true love and more of an addiction. Big is terrible for her and she knows it, yet she still keeps coming back to him and even ends up marrying him. Carrie marries a man who has strung her along, left her at the altar, enticed her into an affair when she was happy with someone else, and through it all, Big is ambivalent to her feelings regarding his actions and tries to guilt her for not being more accommodating of what few feelings he seems to have. Like a “Big Mac,” Big was not something Carrie should be indulging in every day.

Mr. Gold is also known as Rumplestiltskin, the Crocodile, the Beast, and the Dark One, and all of those aliases should definitely raise some red flags! Rumple is an incredibly duplicitous character, having betrayed or manipulated most of the show’s main cast. In spite of his penchant for underhandedness and the odd murder, Rumple is still trusted, or at least allied with frequently on the show, and his love interest, Belle, seems to go out of her way, most of the time, to focus on the good in him, rather than the overwhelming evidence that his obsession with dark magic is also an indicator of his personality.

Before we get to our top pick, here are a few dishonorable mentions:

George Costanza
“Seinfeld” (1989-98)

Quinn Fabray
“Glee” (2009-15)

Danny Castellano
“The Mindy Project” (2012-17)

John Michael ‘J.D.’ Dorian
“Scrubs” (2001-10)

Hiram Lodge
“Riverdale” (2017-)

In a fit of rage, Paige holds her rival Emily’s head under the water for a perceived slight. Not only is Emily okay with Paige being on the same swim team as her afterwards, she and Paige become a couple later on. Even if this was a spur of the moment decision, attempting to drown or at least violently intimidate Emily would have stopped us from dating Paige if we were Emily. Paige isn’t all that great after that either, often toying with Emily’s feelings or otherwise mistreating her. Bottom line – we wouldn’t start a relationship with someone who intentionally harmed us.