Top 10 Ways That Denzel Washington Can Kill You
For this list, we're exploring the vast filmography of Denzel Washington and looking at his most jaw-dropping moments of murderous mayhem. We will be talking about key deaths in certain films, however, so this is your SPOILER ALERT.
Special thanks to our user Godslayer79 for submitting the idea at http://www.WatchMojo.comsuggest
Top 10 Ways That Denzel Washington Can Kill You
He’s all about the preparation and precision – with a little creativity thrown in for good measure. Welcome to WatchMojo.com, and today we’re counting down our picks for the top 10 ways that Denzel Washington can kill you. For this list, we’re exploring the vast filmography of Denzel Washington and looking at his most jaw-dropping moments of murderous mayhem. We will be talking about key deaths in certain films, however, so this is your SPOILER ALERT.
#10: He Can Throw the Book at You
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How do you think Denzel Washington will spend his retirement? We figure he’ll be that quiet man who spends quality time reading in diners and musing on life with whomever happens by – even if “whomever” turns out to be a teenaged sex worker. But let’s say his new friend takes a serious beating. Would Denzel just keep reading? No, he’d go Black Ops on everybody’s asses, beginning with a hardcover surprise. With his observant nature and calculating mind, he’d wait for the right opportunity to end this clash with a nasty book shot to the neck, thus turning the page on this chapter.
#9: He Can Break Your Neck
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On-screen, Denzel Washington has plenty of unique ways to silence bad guys. And of course, he can talk some game in the movies. It stands to reason these skills would translate to real life, and on the streets, you need to talk the talk AND walk the walk. In this case, we assume walking the walk would involve a classic case of neck breaking. A few well-placed punches plus one quick twist = the sound of crushed bones. This would be a case of Denzel gone rogue, and – if his movies are any indication – he’d be able to embrace timeless kill techniques like this with disturbing precision.
#8: He Can Corkscrew You Over
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16 Seconds; a lot can happen in this small amount of time. And after a long career in Hollywood, Denzel is trained to optimize for every moment. So, theoretical scenario: our man has to knock on the door of a Russian gangster. Does he just brace himself for the worst? No, he comes prepared, ready to employ any object at his disposal if it means a quick kill – even a corkscrew. In this sitch, Denzel wouldn’t just plunge the object into the stomach of the oncoming henchman; he’d go for the double whammy and get all up in his business. Even if he doesn’t manage to take out all his foes in his estimated 16 seconds, Denzel could still be proud of efficiently taking down a room of adversaries solo.
#7: He Can Perform a Headshot… In Front of Everybody
When you’re watching a movie, are you shocked to see one character take out another character with a single gunshot to the head? Didn’t think so. But it’d probably at least give you pause if it happened in real life – especially in broad daylight on a busy street. We assume Denzel would have to be in a pretty bad mood to terminate his relationship with a business associate this way; but he’d remain cool and collected, showing no regard for compromise while demonstrating his alpha male status to all those brave enough to watch. This would be what you call a suit-and-tie kill: a very public execution accomplished with style and swagger.
#6: He Can Use a Nail Gun
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If you ever see Denzel Washington approaching you, slowly, at night and in the rain, duck. Especially if he happens to be palming a nail gun – if that’s the case, just assume you’ll be meeting your maker shortly. Bullets? Knives? Fists? Pffft, that stuff’s child’s play. A nail gun – and a big one at that – is a much more inventive approach to murder, and a guy like Denzel has been around long enough to have picked up a few creative ways to kill that most people have never even considered before. Kinda like if he set up propane and oxygen tanks to explode in a microwave… In theory, of course.
#5: He Can Display His Martial Arts Skills
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Now here’s a question: what would Denzel do in a bar fight? Especially if he happened to find himself in a post-apocalyptic neo-Western wasteland. We’ll tell you what he’d do: he’d shut it down. Oh sure, at first it’d seem like everything’s okay following a brief scuffle. But what if a bunch of roughneck bikers decided to butt in, because why not? Big mistake. Mr. Washington would roundhouse their asses faster than you can say “Denzel” – so fast, he could do it with his eyes closed. Of course, the monster blade he’s carrying would come in quite handy at this point as well… And maybe even down the road.
#4: He Can Show Off His Musical Talent
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If you’re gonna do something to piss off Denzel Washington, you’d best scan your surroundings first. If you happen to see a grand piano anywhere nearby, try to keep him happy. Cause a guy like Denzel would not be afraid to bust heads if provoked. It could be a perfectly pleasant afternoon party, all of his friends could be milling about, but if he sees something he does not like he could just start pounding away on your skull with the lid of a piano. Shocking? Yes. Shocking… but creative!
#3: He Can Electrocute and Spike You
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Mr. Denzel Washington is a multi-faceted fighter, as we’ve seen, and we feel confident that he’d take a firm approach to ensure that bad guys never escape alive. But even a guy like Denzel could find himself in a precarious situation, meaning some help could come in handy every now and then. Fortunately, a buddy like Ice-T could step in for the assist if there’s trouble. Ice could electrocute him, while Denzel thinks quickly about his next move. And that move would be the cherry on this sundae of a kill: Washington could see that his foe is impaled on a spike through the stomach. Yep, that’s definitely the nail in the coffin. Advantage: Denzel.
#2: He Can Impale You With Broken Glass
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Since we’re dealing in hypotheticals, let’s get really “out there.” Suppose Denzel comes up against a virtual reality serial killer. Aside from being pretty badass and totally cool, this would present some new problems for our leading man – but it’s nothing he couldn’t solve with some quick thinking, a pulley and a whole lotta plate glass. Of course, seeing as this is virtual reality and all, there is the distinct possibility that even that wouldn’t kill his enemy. If that’s the case, Denzel would have to finalize the kill up close and in person. Yup, it’s a strange one, Mojoholics, but it would set a high bar for unforgettable Denzel kills. No honorable mentions this time around, so let’s go straight to number one!
#1: He Can Explode Your Ass
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Well, the name of this entry really says it all. Nobody wants to get blown up, and certainly not by way of a suppository bomb in the backside. But Denzel Washington ain’t afraid to get his hands dirty when he needs to scare someone into giving him some info. He’d ratchet up the tension by not only describing how one transports drugs via the rectum, but also by actually planting his own pencil detonator in the backside of his poor victim. And let’s just say this: “Man on Fire” would be an apt description for this explosive potential Denzel kill tactic. So, do you agree with our selections? What Denzel Washington kill method impresses you the most? Is it the ass bomb? Yeah, it’s the ass bomb, right? For more action-packed Top 10s published daily, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.