Top 10 Worst Celebrity Books
If you're looking for a good read, then hit the library, and if you're looking for bonfire material, then check out these collections of… words. Join MsMojo as we count down the Top 10 worst celebrity books. For this list, we're counting down the most offensive and somewhat disturbing pieces of prose that have been released by delusional celebrities. We're not saying they don't have talent, per se, we're just asking WTF?
Special thanks to our user drewbrown for submitting the idea on our Interactive Suggestion Tool at http://www.MsMojo.tv.
#10: “Selfish” (2015) Kim Kardashian West
If you’re looking for signs of the impending apocalypse, look no further than this New York Times Bestseller. With a description touting Kim Kardashian as the “modern day personification of Marilyn Monroe” and the trailblazer of the “selfie moment,” you can’t really blame mindless consumers for making the reality star even more famous. Well, you can, actually, and considering both the visual and selfish essence of the “book,” the term “classic Hollywood” will soon have an entirely different meaning for tainted millennial minds.
#9: “Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far” (2011) Bristol Palin with Nancy French
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With all due respect to Sarah Palin’s oldest daughter, one can NOT be afraid of life’s obstacles yet still be fully capable of writing a terrible and deeply hypocritical book. In 2011, at the ripe old age of 21, Bristol Palin didn’t exactly earn comparisons to Emily Bronte for her extensive look back at life’s challenges, and hey – nobody was expecting a master class on prose. But given the widely publicized events that surrounded the book, it didn’t seem like Ms. Palin was the ideal woman to be offering advice to young ladies. But she did anyway.
#8: “Begone, Demons” (circa 2002-03) Saddam Hussein
Most people know the fifth President of Iraq for his love affair with chaos, murder and manipulation, oh, and also murder. But in certain literary circles, Saddam Hussein boasts a reputation as the author of four books. His final release entitled “Begone, Demons” could be best described as a Euphrates River epic, and the piece of political fiction was actually published by a Japanese outlet -- undoubtedly all the rage on the streets of Tokyo in 2006. What we know is this: “Begone, Demons” was aptly titled.
#7: “The Truth About Diamonds” Nicole Richie (2005)
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So, you want to know the truth about diamonds, do ya? Well, please allow the daughter of Lionel Richie to break it down. Here is 240 pages of “fiction” about a young woman named Chloe Parker, who manages to overcome the odds of a privileged lifestyle fueled by hard drugs and Hollywood parties in order to see the proverbial light. And, given that the semi-autobiographic work managed to reach the New York Times best-seller list, it’s clear that many consumers need to read more books.
#6: “Junior” (2006) Macaulay Culkin
It’s long been a cliché for young writers to immediately reference their therapist both in conversation and literary works of art - you know, because they’re tortured souls - but the star of “Home Alone” and lead singer of The Pizza Underground does exactly that for just the description of his bizarre exploration of the titular character’s life – which may or may not also be the life of Macaulay Culkin. If you make the conscious decision to read this book, all you really need to know is that Macaulay’s an “artiste,” and you’ll surely recognize the fact that he’s some type of mad genius, considering the seven endings.
#5: “Hooking Up with Tila Tequila: A Guide to Love, Fame, Happiness, Success, and Being the Life of the Party” (2008) Tila Tequila
Ok, so if the title of this buxom reality star’s book doesn’t piss you off, the content most certainly will. How many of you actually desire life advice from Tila Tequila, and if so, why? Well, regardless of reader intent, the “Madonna of MySpace” did actually take the time to write some type of bizarre guide for all those seeking a continuous downward spiral into madness. It’s only 176 pages long, but it may just provide you with a lifetime of regret.
#4: “Confessions of a Guidette” (2011) Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi
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When you think of MTV’s reality series “Jersey Shore,” the written word probably doesn’t immediately come to mind, unless you imagine a drunk guidette peeing her name on the sidewalk. Even so, our favorite little Snookie, or someone’s favorite little Snookie, decided to write a book in 2011, because…well, perhaps because “Jersey Shore” was about to conclude and it was the logical next step for a reality star. It seemed difficult for the average woman to connect with Snookie upon the release - well, unless that woman was one of her castmates. Snookie. Snookie. Snookie. You broke our heart.
#3: “Star Struck: A Novel” (2005) Pamela Anderson
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This may sound harsh, but when a sex symbol includes the phrase “A Novel” in the actual title of her novel, well, you can probably expect a hot mess of a book. With a cover featuring the author in the nude, Pamela Anderson resorts to an alter ego for a fictionalized tale about stuff we already knew. With character names like Star Wood Leigh and Jimi Deeds, one may be inclined to believe that an actual porn star had a little free time and decided to string a few words together and call it a book. But no, it was Pamela Anderson, and she’s definitely not a porn star. She’s a sex tape star turned author.
#2: “Making Waves: The Autobiography” (2006) David Hasselhoff
(Singing Baywatch theme song) “Some people stand in the darkness, afraid to step into the light.” Yeah, and some people need to have somebody with a tiny of bit literary insight. For cryin’ out loud, David Hasselhoff, how can you write a book with an obvious reference to “Baywatch” in the title and then open it up with a reference to Martin Luther King, Jr.? Sure, the book works if you imagine the Hoff stroking an imaginary beard by the fire while writing with a stiff glass of scotch, but other than that, it makes for a good table coaster - or perhaps to provide that extra spark to your living room fire. Seriously. Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions. “Git-R-Done” (2005) Larry the Cable Guy “Wayne Rooney: My Story So Far” (2006) Wayne Rooney “Britney Spears’ Heart-to-Heart” (2000) Britney and Lynne Spears with Sheryl Berk “Swan” (1994) Naomi Campbell “Vanna Speaks!” (1987) Vanna White “Rebels: City of Indra: The Story of Lex and Livia” (2014) Kendall and Kylie Jenner
#1: “Confessions of an Heiress: A Tongue-in-Chic Peek Behind the Pose” (2004) Paris Hilton with Merle Ginsberg
Ok, so we all know that true artists may not be appreciated during their lifetime, and perhaps Paris Hilton will ultimately be regarded as a female icon of early 21stcentury reality TV literature, but until that narrative arrives, we’ll say this: any book by a well-to-do celebrity that begins with “confessions” in the title screams out “please don’t buy my book.” Keep in mind that when Paris Hilton released “Confessions of an Heiress,” she wasn’t the pop culture Paris that we know now. She was just some rich princess spouting off about her awesome life. So, we ask all of you Ms. Mojoholics – real talk or Barbie talk? Do you agree with our list? What celebrity book do you think is the absolute worst? For more mind-blowing Top 10s published daily, be sure to subscribe to MsMojo.
