Top 10 Worst Disguises in Movies

What’s more preposterous than Arnold Schwarzenegger as a pregnant man? How about Arnold Schwarzenegger as a pregnant man posing as a pregnant woman? In this Ivan Reitman comedy, Arnie inexplicably gets knocked up and attends a retreat for expecting mammas. His façade comes complete with a blonde wig, pearls, and a pink dress. To make this ridiculous disguise appear slightly more believable, Arnold chalks his masculinity up to anabolic steroid usage. Underneath his girly getup, though, all we can see is the Terminator.

Simon Templar is a man of numerous false identities and none of them is even remotely believable. Seriously, this guy is supposed to be a master of disguise? He’s more like a lesser “Saturday Night Live” cast member, putting on countless phony accents and even phonier wigs, but his most far-fetched costume has got to be as a geek who attends a lecture on cold fusion. Sporting thick glasses, atrocious teeth, and the world’s worst comb over, it looks like Val Kilmer raided Jerry Lewis’ “Nutty Professor” wardrobe. The nerdy voice doesn’t exactly help add to the illusion.

Ninjas need to be stealthy, so that they can be able to blend into their environment with ease. That’s easier said than done when you’re a big ass turtle. According to the logic of “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,” however, you can fool just about anybody with a simple trench coat. Even if you have green skin, a mounting shell, and three fingers, dressing like a film noir detective is sure to hide all. Really, though, how is it that the only person who catches onto this disguise is a cab driver?

As Austin Powers and Mini-Me penetrate Dr. Evil’s submarine lair, they run into a dilemma when only one uniform is available. So naturally, Austin gets on his little partner’s shoulders. Um, there’s something not quite right with this picture. Nevertheless, the two manage to fool everyone, including a doctor - you know, a seven-plus-years-of-higher-learning, knows-what-your-insides-do doctor-doctor. This leads to numerous comedic hijinks as they endure a physical. When asked to step behind a curtain, however, the truth eventually comes out with hysterical results.

The 1960s were a different time, weren’t they? It wasn’t uncommon to see white actors portraying characters of Asian descent, which is essentially the definition of politically incorrect today. One of the most uncomfortable instances of yellow face has got to be in “You Only Live Twice.” To go undercover, 007 gets some plastic surgery done to appear Japanese. Apparently the secret service hired a hairdresser instead of a plastic surgeon because James clearly just got his bangs cut and glued on some bushy eyebrows. Mr. Bond probably should’ve stayed dead for this adventure.

Just when you thought that “Wild Wild West” couldn’t get any sillier or more condescending, it officially jumped the shark by putting Will Smith in drag. To save President Ulysses S. Grant, Smith’s Jim West resorts to dressing as an exotic belly dancer. Although anybody could tell it’s a man hiding behind that mask, the villainous Dr. Loveless of course falls for this ruse. West entices the baddie with the alluring outfit, but things get a little too heated when parts of his costume turn into flamethrowers.

While cross-dressing humor doesn’t always work, “Some Like it Hot” stands out as one of the funniest movies ever made. The film’s success can be greatly attributed to the comedic performances of Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon as a couple of musicians that disguise themselves as women. With that said, their disguises are anything but convincing. The fact that they both have bulging Adam’s apples should’ve been the first indication that these “women” were more than meets the eye. Yet, everybody is bamboozled by their flashy dresses and high-pitched voices. Well, nobody’s perfect.

Nobody goes into a film from Matt Stone and Trey Parker expecting racial sensitivity, especially when it comes to the Middle East. To infiltrate a group of terrorists, Gary undergoes extensive surgery to appear Middle Eastern. All they really do is smear some crap and pubic hair onto his face, though. They don’t even have Gary wear the proper attire. Wrapping a towel around his head in place of a turban is more than enough. Even if Gary’s uncanny disguise can’t fool the guards, his unmatched acting abilities will result in a friendly “durka durka.”

On paper, the idea of the Wayans Brothers playing two FBI agents posing as Caucasian heiresses may sound like a funny premise. “White Chicks” pretty much drops dead, however, once they actually don their ungodly disguises. Exhibit A: those hideous latex masks. They look more like something out of a horror picture than a buddy cop comedy. Despite their cringe-worthy appearances, the two manage to deceive everybody in the Hamptons, including the best friends of the bimbos they’re pretending to be. There’s suspension of disbelief and then there’s just being stupid. Guess which this is.

Before we get to our top pick, here are a few honorable, or in this case dishonorable, mentions:
- New Talent
“Cannonball Run II” (1984)
- Clown James Bond
“Octopussy” (1983)
- Muppet Man
“The Muppets” (2011)
- Big Momma
“Big Momma’s House” (2000)

At his best, Dana Carvey can he a hilarious comedian with a gift for mimicking. At his worst, we get this alleged comedy. As the title suggests, Carvey plays a master of disguise who actually does nothing but call attention to himself with extravagant costumes. Of all his insufferable personalities, the most infamous has got to be the Turtle Guy. With a bald cap, googly glasses, and an oversized body, this obnoxious creation should’ve stayed in his shell… or at the very least thrown on a trench coat to blend in better.

Do you agree with our list? What movie disguises failed to fool you? For more entertaining Top 10s published every day, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.