Top 10 WORST South Park Episodes Ever
#10: "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics"
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As much as fans have come to love this fecal friend of the boys, this episode was one of the few swings and misses from the early years. One thing that separates this from all the others on this list is the complete lack of plot. Hosted by Mr. Hankey himself, it’s an exercise in “South Park” trying to play on the “variety show” format. As it hops from one musical number to the next, fans are left scratching their heads at what exactly they’re seeing. Sure, props to the creators for trying something new, but this was really just a Christmas album made into an episode.
#9: "South Park Is Gay!"
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Both Trey Parker and Matt Stone have gone on record saying that this episode has one of their worst ideas ever. Centered around metrosexuality, the boys suddenly become interested in taking better care of their looks and fashion. Heavily influenced by the “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” show, the episode could have been an interesting commentary on this kind of culture. Instead, we got crab people. The entire latter half of this episode focuses on how crab people are using television characters to try and take over the world. We’re sorry, but say that again? Definitely one of the more “out there” plots on this show. And don’t get us started on that song or it will be stuck in our heads all day.
#8: "Funnybot"
The premise here should be pretty simple. Germany builds a comedic robot to prove they have a sense of humor. But instead of just sticking to the jokes, it somehow turns into a threat against humanity with nuclear weapons being anything but funny. Underneath all of that, there’s an attempt by the writers to illustrate the irony of comedians being praised for their work. Everyone loves a pat on the back, but accolades for laughter tend to turn the subject matter far more serious, and therefore undermine the comedy. We applaud them for the attempt, but the episode’s message about comedy gets lost in all the bad Funnybot jokes.
#7: "Toilet Paper"
For all its nods to “Silence of the Lambs,” there’s just something about this episode that doesn’t hold up. Kids have been pranking people for years with rolls of toilet paper in trees. So catching the boys pull this off is about the only entertaining part of the episode. We know the over-exuberance of the police is a jab at people constantly questioning what law enforcement is doing. But what this really feels like is just an excuse to give Barbrady some screen time. He’s a character that has faded over the years, and episodes like this prove he’s better suited as a one-off player, and not the focus of an episode.
#6: "Stanley's Cup"
How many times have you seen the boys play an organized sport in this show? There’s a reason for that. Similar to a previous entry, this episode was one where the writers struggled to find the right way to make the story work. What starts to feel like an uplifting tale about how Stan’s team will find a way to win the game to help their teammate, turns sour quickly. The team loses repeatedly, including an NHL game. In the end, we’re left depressed by the performance of the team, the episode, and the show in general.
#5: "Royal Pudding"
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Lots could be said for the public’s fascination with William and Kate’s wedding back in 2011. So it comes as no surprise to see “South Park” do their own version featuring Canadians in their own extravagant wedding. There are some pretty funny bits that poke fun at the excessive “traditions” observed during these ceremonies. But much like Season 2’s “Terrance and Phillip in Not Without My Anus,” seeing the same joke told, again and again, gets old pretty quickly. Additionally, the subplot around Ike playing the part of “Tooth Decay” in a school play seems to exist solely for audiences to get the joke about who abducted the Canadian princess. Disjointed, and mostly unfunny, skip this one on your rewatch.
#4: "Eat, Pray, Queef"
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Much like our previous entry, this is another episode that relies heavily on characters most fans only like in small doses. We meet Terrance and Phillip’s female counterparts, Katherine and Katie Queef. Unlike fart jokes, the Queef Sisters rely on another form of flatulent humor that neither their competition nor male audiences seem to enjoy. It’s an interesting take on inequality and sexism but the message really gets lost in all of the ridiculous antics. Although the boys do have their own minor subplot, the episode is made virtually unwatchable by its use of yet another set of derivative characters.
#3: "A Million Little Fibers"
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If the entries on this list are telling us anything, it’s that “South Park” does best when it sticks to its core characters. This Towelie-themed episode was a spoof of the James Frey fiasco that played out on Oprah Winfrey’s daytime show. Towelie gets his book published only after pretending he’s not a towel. Literary antics aside, much of the episode focuses on various parts of Oprah’s anatomy that feel neglected and choose to take action. At what point in the writing process did anyone think viewers would want to see Oprah’s groin pulling out a gun and threatening people?
#2: "Pip"
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First off, we have to acknowledge the fact that getting Malcolm McDowell to narrate and appear in this episode is the only highlight of this Season 4 flop. Featuring the titular character, the entire 22 minutes is an ode to the Charles Dickens novel, “Great Expectations.” The show has done countless tributes to other works of art and did them justice. Like others on this list, it falls short due to so much focus being put on a character no one was all that interested in. Butters had his own episode, but everyone loved that character. Pip was certainly not worthy of such a gift.
#1: "Jakovasaurs"
When “Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace” hit theaters, most fans made George Lucas well aware of their disdain for Jar Jar Binks. Added purely for comedic relief, he was a character virtually everyone felt was annoying, and had far too much screen time. Now, let’s take that same character, change his name and bits of his appearance, and plant him in a “South Park” episode. As you can imagine, he’s every bit as bad as the character that inspired him. The only saving grace is we only had to deal with the Jakovasaurs for 22 minutes. “Star Wars” fans had to sit through a lot more.
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