Top 10 Worst Things Squidward Has Done

Our big-nosed narcissist thinks he’s the best dancer in Bikini Bottom, but that may be true only under very specific conditions. Unexpectedly, he immediately grows jealous when SpongeBob’s dancing at work lands him an audition. To “help” his neighbor nail the audition, Squidward has SpongeBob carry out extensive exercises. The first few end in frustration, but he finally gets SpongeBob to the point of exhaustion, causing him to miss his audition and allowing Squidward to steal the spot. Thankfully, Squid gets a taste of his own medicine when he finds out he’ll be dancing for his rival Squilliam.

The task was simple - make a gift for SpongeBob in honor of Employee Brotherhood Day. The only stipulation Mr. Krabs enforced was that the gift could not be bought. And yet, making a gift was just too taxing for lazy Squidward. As a cop out, he winds up buying a pie from some shady-looking pirates. Despite their half-hearted attempts to disguise their bombs as decadent treats, Squidward still buys one off them anyways. It isn’t long before they discover the dessert’s explosive nature. Yep, Squiddy, you nearly took your neighbor’s life because you just couldn’t bring yourself to make a crummy gift. And it only cost you twenty-five smackaroos!

Fed up with Mr. Krabs’ greedy, cheapskate behavior, Squidward decides to go on strike...and manages to convince SpongeBob to do the same. Now, there isn’t much wrong here - Squidward is exercising his rights and trying to bring to light something he sees as an injustice. However, his downfall is when he finally gets SpongeBob to embrace the strike. Inspired by Squid’s dedication, SpongeBob decides to go and dismantle the Krusty Krab entirely. And to think the two were about to have their demands met. You got no one to blame but yourself, Squidward!

We all have bad days, but for Squidward, one day gets so awful that it sends him into a mental breakdown, and it’s all because of an accident caused by SpongeBob. In retaliation, Squidward comes back with a restraining order on his coworker, preventing SpongeBob from coming within fifteen feet of him. This mean-spirited move only causes more problems in the Krusty Krab’s operations. Luckily, Eugene manages to hire Patrick to act as the middleman between SpongeBob and Squidward. However, Patrick proves to be way more annoying than SpongeBob ever could, which convinces Squidward to alter the restraining order.

Look, we understand that SpongeBob and Patrick can be too much to handle, especially when they become overenthusiastic about even the dumbest things. Still, that doesn’t excuse manipulating them into hating each other. On what was supposed to be a quiet and enjoyable day, Squidward is disrupted by the two blowing bubbles filled with messages to each other. The grumpy cephalopod decides to start blowing bubbles filled with insults, tricking the two into thinking they were still talking to each other. Yeah, you aren’t getting pity for the eventual soda disaster!

Just how low can Squiddy go? Well, low enough to be amused by publicly humiliating someone as we’ll see later on. For now, our eyes divert to “Little Yellow Book”, which sees him stealing SpongeBob’s diary and reading it aloud for Krusty Krab patrons to hear. What makes this devious deed so awful is that Squidward shows no remorse for his actions, even when all of Bikini Bottom begins to scowl at him. Despite all of this, he steals SpongeBob’s diary AGAIN and blatantly admits his lack of guilt, all while laughing his head off.

SpongeBob ought to be regarded as a saint for housing Squidward after he lost his job, because it turns out the grumbling grouch is an awful housemate. Much of the episode “Can You Spare a Dime” shows Squidward being unbearably needy as he expects SpongeBob to be at his beck and call. As if things couldn’t get more ridiculous, he orders SpongeBob to wear a maid’s outfit while doing his tasks. Honestly, we totally sympathize with Mr. Absorbency even when he goes into a fit of frustration. And to think all of this happened because of a stupid dime!

You know, one would think an older individual like Squidward would avoid acting in an immature and childish manner. Who are we kidding - this is Squidward Q. Tentacles we’re talking about! He’ll gloat and laugh at anyone he deems as beneath him! So, of course, he’d make fun of SpongeBob for getting kisses from his grandma. On top of that, he manages to get several Krusty Krab patrons in on it, and they all laugh and mock SpongeBob even after he cries his heart out. Kids, don’t let this dumb adult fool you - it is perfectly fine to get kisses from your grandma!

One of Squidward’s worst traits is how he puts himself before literally anyone or anyTHING else, and this was crystal clear in “I Was a Teenage Gary”. All Squid had to do was take care of Gary while SpongeBob was away for the weekend. The poor snail ends up starving and getting dehydrated while Squidward gets to enjoy himself the entire time. Thankfully, Gary only needed a small drink of water to get back to normal. Even so, it’s almost hard to believe that Squidward would stoop this low, and yet here we are.

Serving Terrible Food, Various
How Do You Work at a Restaurant for 17 Years & NOT Know How to Cook?

Faking an Injury, “Accidents Will Happen”
He Really Thought He Could Just Live Off Worker’s Compensation For the Rest of His Life?

Tricking SpongeBob & Patrick Into Thinking He’s Dead, “Squidward the Unfriendly Ghost”
At Least His Time as Their Master Would Grow Frustrating for Him

Denigrating SpongeBob’s Artistic Skills, “Artist Unknown”
Really Shows the Lack of Humility in His Soul

Squidward, it’s time we have a chat about April Fools’. The first day of April is meant to be about joking around, pulling some harmless gags, and sharing a laugh with someone. What isn’t funny is publicly humiliating a person and forcing them to endure serious physical pain. Yes, in the “Fools in April” episode, Squidward sends SpongeBob flying around the Krusty Krab, smacking him into walls, crashing through objects, and landing him in a filthy garbage can. Talk to anyone in the SpongeBob fanbase, and they’ll tell you this was the single meanest thing Squidward has ever done. And we all thought Plankton was the real villain!