Top 20 Cringiest Things From The 80s

Family portraits can be fun and capture key memories. It’s the 80s spin that makes us cringe. In a time before cell phones with their high quality cameras, people used to do their hair and makeup, get all dressed up and go to a professional studio to have their family photos taken. The big hair and questionable fashion choices already make an impression. But for some reason, in the 80s we also had to come up with the cheesiest poses and presentations as well. If you don’t believe us, just check out the many websites dedicated to awkward and embarrassing 80s family portraits all over the internet.

Crimped hair actually got its start in the 70s, popularized by none other than Barbra Streisand. In fact, Hollywood stylist Geri Cusenza invented the crimping iron for Streisand’s hair! However, crimped hair peaked in popularity in the 1980s, becoming all the rage, as women with naturally straight hair embraced the sawtooth, zig-zag style. Looking back, the reaction is … mixed. However, while many of us cringe at those old photos and videos, there are those who still appreciate it - which explains why crimped hair seems to make a short comeback every 10 to 15 years or so.

Whether you think it’s like, so bitchin’ … or it makes you want someone to gag you with a spoon … we have the 1980s to thank for the Valley Girl stereotype and Valspeak. It was Frank Zappa’s 1982 hit “Valley Girl” that gave the term - and the style of speech - recognition outside of the Los Angeles area where it originated. And, while the 80s were the height of Valspeak in pop culture, it has never gone away completely. Cher Horowitz might’ve been from Beverly Hills, but she was inspired by the Valley Girl caricature.

While many associate the term “parachute pants” with the harem pants popularized by Mr. MC Hammer, parachute pants and Hammer pants are quite different. Parachute pants were generally tighter fitting pants that got their name from the nylon material they were made from (nylon also being the material used to produce parachutes). And while we have nothing but love for breakdancing, we do have to hold the mid-80s breakdancers responsible for popularizing the fad that were these pants.

As cringy as the previous trends were, at least none of them were life-threatening. The same can’t be said for the death-defying 80s fad known as car surfing. As the name suggests, it involves standing on top of a moving vehicle. Sure, Michael J. Fox and Jerry Levine, with help from The Beach Boys, made it look super cool in 1985’s “Teen Wolf”. But it’s actually super dangerous. And it didn’t end in the 80s either. In fact, the Centers for Disease Control identified 58 newspaper reports about car-surfing deaths and 41 related to nonfatal car-surfing injuries between 1990 and 2008.

Sure, it looked good on Sonny and Rico - and we gotta admit, looking back at it now, it still looks pretty dope. However, all of us normal folks who tried to pull off the pastel shirts and pale suits combo (with or without a tie) - well, it doesn’t hold up as well as it does for Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas. In fact, given how closely associated the look is with “Miami Vice”, it’s even harder to pull it off without being called Crockett or Tubbs by everyone you see.

Do you have strong feelings about shoe laces? Find them a huge pain? Well, you’re not alone. It was apparently a huge aggravation to folks in the 80s, who fell in love with velcro as an alternative to laces. But while they were pretty quick and convenient, the velcro got dirty rather quickly and they do tend to look a little childish. Which is probably why, these days - even though they are still making them for adults - you’ll mostly find velcro on shoes for toddlers and kids.

Look, we get it. Being able to put a piece of paper in a machine, type in a phone number and have everything on that paper show up on a different piece of paper anywhere in the world… that was amazing. We’re not in any way negating the technological advancement that was the fax machine. However, with the technological wonders we all have in our pockets these days, the wonder of the fax machine feels a little overblown. But that’s just how it goes with technology. Look at how amazed Chandler was in 1995 with his laptop and its 12 megabytes of RAM and 500 megabytes hard drive.

If clothes are meant to make a statement, the message with these shirts seemed to be, “Hey, check out how ridiculous I look.” For some reason, people in the 80s decided that shirts with bright colors, covered in all sorts of shapes, were the height of fashion. But these shirts looked more like they belonged in a modern art museum than on anyone’s body. If you’re going to an 80s theme party, a geometric patterned shirt will help you to look the part. Otherwise, it’ll probably just make you look like a total square.

It’s hard to believe that there was a time when it wasn’t the norm to have your own computer. In the 80s, the popularity (and sales) of home computers started taking off, showing that owning a computer wasn’t just for geeks. For instance, you could play some low-quality video games, write papers, and...okay, there wasn’t much more than that. The processing speeds were ludicrously slow, and the clunky designs were anything but attractive. It was all very impressive and exciting at the time, but like most technology, they soon showed their age.

When most of us think of a sweater, we think of clothing worn on our upper body in chilly weather. But in the 1980s, the sweater was less a piece of clothing, and more a fashion accessory - at least for any self-respecting preppy. No matter the temperature, they’d have those sweaters draped over their shoulders and tied around their necks like an oversized scarf. If it’s cold, maybe just wear the sweater - and buy an actual scarf. If it’s not cold, well, why are you half-wearing a sweater?!

When we think of soft drinks, we think of Coca-Cola. But in the early 80s, rival Pepsi started to attract more customers in supermarkets, and Coke was losing ground. The soda giant developed a new formula for their famous cola, calling it "New Coke." This sweeter take on the beverage arrived with plenty of fanfare and marketing. But it didn't take long for the backlash to start. Less than three months after New Coke's debut, the company announced the return of "Coca-Cola Classic." Some theorized that the new formula was simply a ploy to drive sales when the old formula returned. Coke may have stumbled a bit, but they ultimately came out on top.

A wristwatch is a great way to look fashionable while also keeping track of the time. But a clock on a chain is a bit much. Rapper and Public Enemy hype man Flavor Flav popularized this trend, though we didn’t exactly see many others using timepieces as necklaces. In a 1994 interview with MTV, the rapper said he started with stopwatches and escalated to clocks. He also said that wearing the clocks represent the value of time in our lives. It became his signature look that he still rocks today.

If you didn’t grow up in the 80s, you might be under the false impression that it was only hockey players that wore mullets. But that assumption couldn't be farther from the truth of what men were sporting on their heads in that awesome decade. While Kiefer Sutherland’s doo in “The Lost Boys” is sometimes credited with popularizing the style, Sutherland himself has said that his hair in the film was at least partially an ode to Billy Idol. Regardless of its origins or its awesome ‘business in the front, party in the back’ descriptor, the mullet remains a difficult look to pull off.

Remember what we said about wristwatches being fashionable? Well, that’s not always the case. During the rise of digital watches, Swatches were meant to make analog wristwatches cool again. This Swiss line of watches came in an array of colors, and it became trendy to wear multiple, different-colored watches at the same time. And what’s cooler than that? We just wanted to stand out, and Swatch ads made us feel like we'd be treated like absolute royalty with these watches. Ultimately though, we just ended up looking like total dorks. But, hey, at least it helped with our punctuality, right?

If you grew up in the 80s, or even the 90s, you probably remember buying and renting movies on VHS. But do you remember Betamax? Before VHS became the home video format of choice, it was in a rivalry with Sony. Betamax was actually launched first in 1975, and its picture quality was arguably superior. But it had some drawbacks, like its more expensive VCRs and reduced recording space. This allowed VHS to get the upper hand. VHS soon took the lead and rendered Beta obsolete. Maybe they should’ve called it “Alphamax?”

The big hair of the 80s didn’t get that way by pure luck. We had to use plenty of product - such as Aqua Net hairspray - to reach maximum poufy potential. But while we hoped to look like pop icons and rock stars, our expectations didn’t quite meet reality. With the amount of spray used, it was all but impossible to notice anything but our hair. And did we mention its strong scent? Private and public restrooms alike reeked of Aqua Net. Bigger may have not actually been better, but it was the dominant style for a time.

In the business world, what you wear can impact how you’re perceived and what opportunities are available for you. So, working women in the 80s started wearing suits with shoulder pads as a way of saying they're just as capable as any man. Influential figures like Margaret Thatcher and "Dynasty" star Joan Collins exuded strength and confidence while rocking shoulder pads. But big shoulders eventually started to look goofy rather than inspiring and became another fashion footnote of the 80s. However, shoulder pads have made a comeback among fashionistas in the late 2010s and early 2020s.

Drug addiction is an extremely complicated issue. But we do know that it can't just be stopped with a three-word slogan. The "Just Say No" campaign, coined and popularized by First Lady Nancy Reagan, simplified this complex matter, ignoring the many reasons people turn to substance abuse. While it did create further awareness of drug dependency, there's no evidence to indicate that it made a marked difference in overall drug use. It also may have furthered the idea of addiction as a moral issue rather than a health one. The intentions may have been good, but the results were lacking.

In 1986, the U.S. Surgeon General reported on the dangers of secondhand smoke. And the major health risks of tobacco were well-known before the 80s. But despite all this, indoor smoking in public places was still allowed. It wasn’t just restaurants with separate smoking sections. You could find people smoking in the office, at grocery stores, and even on planes. The tobacco industry knew of these dangers and did their best to suppress them and avoid further regulations. Health advocates won out, and laws about indoor smoking have since become much stricter.