Top 20 Unaired Reads on RuPaul's Drag Race
#20: Completely Unknown
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“All Stars” 5 Love her or hate her, but one thing you can always count on Derrick Barry for is her ability to read a queen for filth while maintaining a charming innocence. In the premiere episode of “All Stars” 5, Derrick didn’t hold back, especially when it came to India Ferrah. However, we’d argue that this unaired read might have rivaled those that made it to the broadcast. While taking a swipe at seasoned queen Mariah Paris Balenciaga, Derrick poked fun at her limited popularity, despite the renown of each of her three names. When delivered with such tact, it’s the kind of read you’d also laugh at, if you were the target.
#19: Fat Albert Baby Doll
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Season 15 Making comments about a person’s body is often considered inappropriate, but when the library is open on “Drag Race,” almost anything is fair game. Season 15 witnessed a bit of a contentious relationship between plus-sized queens Mistress Isabelle Brooks and Malaysia Babydoll Foxx. During the reading challenge, Mistress took a jab at Malaysia, comparing her to the animated character, Fat Albert, and incorporating a hilarious pun on her middle name. However, it was Malaysia who effortlessly stole the spotlight. The Miss Congeniality winner proved she was not so congenial after all by turning the tables on Mistress and delivering an even better punchline.
#18: Bigger in Texas
“All Stars” 2 As the dancing queen of Mesquite, Alyssa Edwards has become one of the most prominent figures on “Drag Race” to hail from Texas. True to the popular saying that “everything is bigger in Texas,” Alyssa’s drag is bold and extravagant. However, just as Alaska cleverly points out here, it seems not everything about Alyssa aligns with the larger-than-life Texas stereotype. What might have been a simple one-liner is quickly transformed into a top-tier, double-layered read that no one saw coming. From another queen, this easily could’ve been a winning joke, but the fact that it doesn’t even make the cut is a testament to Alaska’s brilliance.
#17: Dancing Fool
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“All Stars” 2 The unaired reads from “All Stars” 2 seemed to have really targeted Alyssa Edwards. Known for her exquisite choreography skills and her hilarious antics, Alyssa is sometimes referred to as the Dancing Fool. When Ginger Minj put on the reading glasses, she playfully expressed bewilderment at the addition of the word “dancing” to Alyssa’s moniker. Obviously, every “Drag Race” fan is well aware that when it comes to splits, kicks and dips, hardly anyone can do it quite like Alyssa Edwards. But it’s that cunning subversion that makes this read so clever.
#16: Manly Arms
“All Stars” 2 Sometimes, the best reads are those that manage to praise you, while delivering a painful jab. Few have done this as masterfully as Phi Phi O'Hara on “All Stars” 2. It is widely acknowledged that Katya was one of the standouts on Season 7. The faux Russian queen narrowly missed the Top 4 and was one of the first from the season to be called back for “All Stars.” When trying to read Katya, Phi Phi called out her manly arms, suggesting that her run on Season 7 may have had something to do with it. Of course, Katya returned the favor later on, but her words were not nearly as kind.
#15: The Annihilation of Naomi Smalls
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Season 8 With how scathing these reads were, we’re honestly shocked they didn’t make it onto the broadcast. Bob the Drag Queen’s effortless wit rises to the surface as she unleashes a rapid-fire series of jabs at Naomi Smalls. Bob goes for the jugular, targeting Naomi’s choice of shoes and questioning how her family approved of her appearing on TV in them. She then follows that up with two hilarious jokes about Naomi’s skinny frame. Of course, their fellow Top 3 sister, Kim Chi, wasn’t left out of the fun. Bob rounds things off with a comical impression of Kim’s lisp that’s a little bit suspicious.
#14: Immediate Improvement
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Season 6 She may take a dip in cool, refreshing waters, but Darienne Lake has got a pretty filthy mouth. The New York queen proved that during the reading challenge on Season 6, pulling a surprise win over queens like Bianca Del Rio and BenDeLaCreme. And it’s easy to see why. Darienne appears to check in on Laganja Estranja, before flipping her apparent concern into a scathing remark. She repeats this technique with Trinity K. Bonet, making a joke about the alleged size of her genitalia and turning it into a clever pun on the metric unit. And again with Courtney Act, highlighting that her beauty seems to be confined to the inside, ostensibly for good reason.
#13: Now or Never
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“All Stars” 5 When Blair St. Clair titled her 2018 debut single “Now or Never,” little did she know that it would come back to haunt her on “Drag Race.” Jujubee pranced through the doors of the library on “All Stars” 5, armed with a cheeky smile and the knowledge of the song’s title, and effectively destroyed any hopes Blair had of clinching the crown. Granted, neither did Jujubee, but at least the two shared the win on this reading challenge. Although it was a double victory based on the reads that aired, we think Jujubee slightly edged out Blair with her unaired comments at Ongina, and India Ferrah.
#12: Unfinished Business
By now, you probably know that Season 6 queen Courtney Act’s drag name is a play on the phrase “caught in the act.” What act exactly? You might ask. Well, that depends on who’s answering. According to fellow competitor Joslyn Fox, there is only one thing Courtney has been caught doing. You know it’s a sick burn when the only response Mama Ru can muster is a chilly “ooh.” Yet, Joslyn doesn’t stop there. She also has choice words for BenDeLaCreme, whose relevance she calls into question, and throws some snappy shade at Laganja Estranja who, at that point, is just happy to still be there.
#11: Heavy Crown
Trying to read the first ever winner of “Drag Race” might be intimidating for some, but clearly not for Trixie Mattel. When RuPaul opened the library on “All Stars” 3, Trixie directed a remark at Season 1 winner BeBe Zahara Benet that was so good, it’s a surprise it was left on the cutting room floor. If the camera adds 10 pounds, we can only imagine how much more the crown has to offer. Trixie may not have won this particular challenge, but taking this comment into consideration, as well as her other unaired reads for Aja, and Thorgy Thor, she was definitely a close second.
#10: Chicken Filter
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“All Stars” 4 You know Latrice Royale is going to read a queen whenever the library is open. So after reading Monet X Change's poor silhouette, Latrice roasted Trinity the Tuck's excessive cosmetic procedures. The bird comparisons were hilariously spot-on, without feeling excessively mean. And Royale's visual reference to Instagram filters accurately summed up just how dramatically Trinity's appearance had changed between seasons too. Even Trinity herself couldn't help laughing, in fact she seemed to find it funnier than anyone else.
#9: Eye Problems
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“All Stars” 3 While mocking someone's disorder can often be tasteless, good humor among friends allows for some more racy jokes. In the case of Kennedy Davenport's lazy eye, Chi Chi DeVayne took a subtler approach to mock her. DeVayne's yells even appear innocent at first, until you realize she's toying with Kennedy. The slow-burning delivery is hysterical, and results in a priceless reaction from Trixie Mattel. Thanks to how simple Chi Chi's insult is, Kennedy takes an otherwise offensive insult with a grin as well. And by giving everyone a moment to figure it out, DeVayne's burn lands with the right amount of tact.
#8: Under a Flickering Light
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“All Stars” 3 Aja has always had a rather dramatic style and way with clothes, which has left her as an easy target for ridicule. BenDeLaCreme on the other hand, seemed to praise her unusual looks as something surreal. However Ben's use of horror tropes quickly flipped this into a hefty backhanded compliment. The images BenDeLaCreme calls to mind were vivid and brutal enough to make Ru gasp in response as well. It was also exceptionally difficult not to giggle as Ben insisted that Aja's makeup defied physics against her. BenDeLaCreme's punchline hit harder though, thanks to how kind she sounded at first.
#7: Rip-Off
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“All Stars” 3 Morgan McMichaels' dancing abilities were a standout talent on 'Drag Race', but her looks...not so much. BenDeLaCreme took this as an opportunity on 'All Stars' to read Morgan as utterly forgettable. By greeting her as two completely different drag queens, Ben simultaneously slams McMichael's appearance as sloppy and unoriginal as well. The fact that both of the contestants mentioned flopped on their seasons was a funny detail for knowledgeable fans too. Ben even opted to move on as a result of all her fake confusion just to rip into Morgan more. Plus the indirect comparisons cut McMichaels much deeper than any straightforward burn on the episode did.
#6: Filled with Cobwebs
Season 6 Bianca Del Rio has consistently been one of the strongest comedy queens in 'Drag Race' herstory, so Adore Delano had to push the envelope to insult her. For a rather decrepit illustration of Bianca's age, Adore decided to imagine hooking up with her. While her read was over-the-top and gross to begin with, she got uncomfortably intimate with her storytelling as well. The explicit sexual visuals evoked in Adore's roast were enough to have everyone cackling before the punch line too. Combining all these themes together however was enough to give Bianca and audiences a hilariously disturbing mental image it would be hard to forget.
#5: Beyoncé
Season 6 Trinity K. Bonet talked a lot about playing Beyoncé on season six, which gave Bianca Del Rio plenty of material for when the library opened. Trinity looked excited as Bianca mentioned Destiny's Child at first. Del Rio's classic horror reference cleverly turned Bonet's obsession against her however, with comedic wit and brilliant wordplay. The sharp change of mood on Trinity's face was chuckle-inducing too. Bianca also managed to viciously read RuPaul and Trinity's ages simultaneously by trying to explain how outdated her joke was. While we already loved Bianca's sense of humor, her endless quips here truly impressed us.
#4: Colorful Swimwear
Season 5 With Roxxxy Andrews' habit of wearing form-fitting outfits, it was only a matter of time before she received some critiques. However when Coco Montrese threw on the library's glasses, she cheekily questioned Roxxxy's taste in fashion as a whole. Her caricature of Andrews was so laughably on point that Roxxxy herself was smirking beneath her displeased look. Heck, even Coco's rival Alyssa Edwards couldn't help herself. Just in case her read wasn't devastating enough, Coco delivered her words like a statement of fact too. Given the groans and shocked faces from the rest of the queens, this taunt was clearly harsher than RuPaul expected.
#3: Post-mortem
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Season 5 No matter how unprofessionally Coco Montrese acted in the workroom, she delivered the goods when it came to lip syncing. Jinkx Monsoon actually commended her energy too, but this was just to point out how over-the-top Coco was. Additionally, Jinkx used this flattery to nail down just how savage her statement really was. The compliments also misled the queens so much that they looked genuinely stunned when they got the joke. In fact the shrieks and gaping mouths were just as entertaining as the insult itself. And frankly Jinkx's ability to turn Coco's dance moves against her was even more memorable than many of her aired reads.
#2: Ugly Inside
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“All Stars” 4 Though Valentina was an insanely talented contestant, she was also painted as a villain for her heartless attitude toward her fellow queens. With this in mind, Manila Luzon found a creative way to insult Valentina's toxic personality. Manila was so blatant in her delivery that it sounded like she was giving genuine advice at first too. Valentina's dramatic response however showed that she could at least take jokes as well as she gave them out. The vivid imagery of eating makeup was also comically blunt for Manila. Manila roasted Valentina on a personal level, for one of the strongest character reads in the series.
#1: Mistake
“All Stars” 4 So many library roasts have started by addressing their victim, so it was strange when Valentina turned to Ru instead. Rather than commenting directly about Latrice Royale, hysterically used RuPaul to make a meta joke about selecting queens for 'All Stars.' While it seems like Valentina had misremembered her contestants, Royale was visibly pained at being compared to someone who barely appeared on the show. Latrice looked so ready to fight that Valentina's apology seemed to be out of comedic self-defense. With a mix of old school 'Drag Race' references and subtle wordplay, Valentina caught everyone off-guard with this brutal one-liner.
