Top 10 Worst Songs by Great British Bands and Musicians

A song released a year after the killer debut single, “Creep”, Radiohead were still a fledgling five-piece when this record landed – so let’s put it down to a lack of experience, shall we? “Pop is Dead” takes aim at the mass media and music industry, but it falls way short of other Radiohead anthems. Perhaps paying homage to its title, it failed to register in the UK top 40 at the time, and it hasn’t transformed into a cult favourite since. And the vampire video does it no favours, either.

A real opinion divider next, and that watershed moment when Muse turned to dubstep. The West Country rockers are world-renowned as one of the best live acts on the planet, with Matt Bellamy fronting an epic, orchestral sound. But, not here. Supposedly inspired by a Skrillex gig, “Unsustainable” incorporates the electronic sound which was bang on trend at the start of the 2010s – and it does make for a lively stadium show. But overall, the only thing ‘unsustainable’ about this track is our desire to listen to it.

Given that Blur became one of the most influential bands of their era, it’s a little surprising that their debut album, “Leisure”, hasn’t been heralded a masterpiece. But that’s because it probably isn’t. Sure, it gave us tracks like “She’s So High” and “There’s No Other Way”, but then came “Bang”, which might’ve ruined it all. A record which rarely appears in live sets, the band says it was written in minutes, as a quick-fix chart hit. Still, the music video’s worth a watch – it’s so ‘90s it hurts.

The title track from Robbie’s seventh studio album, “Rudebox” came promising a new dawn for the former-Take That singer and seminal pop performer. But the apparently contemporary sound left critics and even die-hard fans feeling confused. With laughable lyrics, lacklustre vocals and a look which dated very quickly, nothing about this record caught on. The song just screams of someone trying (and failing) to be down with the kids. That being said, “Rudebox” did top charts in Europe, so someone somewhere liked it.

Now, if this countdown was based solely on the music video, this would’ve featured higher. But it’s not, and this cover raised a tonne of money for charity – so there are obvious plus points. But while you’ve got to admire Bowie and Jagger’s commitment, it’s a head-scratcher as to how two cultural icons could create something so corny. Recorded at Abbey Road studios in just a few hours, the song clearly served a purpose, though – scoring number one for four weeks with all profits going to Live Aid.

A standout, synthy stinker on what’s probably Elton’s worst album (although “Empty Garden” is a memorable track), “I Am Your Robot” sees the Rocket Man get mechanical – and it’s quite mind-numbing. In fairness to Elton, the robot-romance lyrics are this song’s biggest downfall – and they’re largely the work of his collaborator, Bernie Taupin. Elton rarely plays it live, and the four-word hook feels ugly on the ears. But worst of all, it’s kinda catchy. You’ll be humming this all day, and you’ll hate yourself for it.

There’s no doubting the brilliance of “Another One Bites the Dust”, but the Queen quest into funky disco-rock never truly caught on afterwards. Case in point, “Staying Power”. The fourth of six singles from “Hot Space”, with “Under Pressure” proving the only real hit, the track has got gusto but it ultimately falls flat. Still, like most Queen songs it sounds a whole lot better when Freddie Mercury belts it out for a stadium filled with thousands of people.

As undisputed pioneers of British rock music, The Rolling Stones will always be remembered for their hits rather than their misses – but we’ve gotta give “Gomper” a mention. An album track on the Stones’ sixth British studio record, “Their Satanic Majesties Request”, it’s forever criticised as a copycat Beatles number. In fact, the whole of “Satanic Majesties” feels a lot like the Beatles’ earlier album, “Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band”, only nowhere near as good. The Stones were best when they were setting trends, not chasing them.

A band which prided itself on maintaining a progressive style, there were bound to be some blips along the way, right? “Hots On for Nowhere” almost made today’s cut, but “Hot Dog” has to be the Led Zeppelin low point. A rockabilly run-through for the band’s last original album, it’s just a touch too silly and throwaway. Lined-up alongside the rest of Zeppelin’s back catalogue, it feels like a novelty record – like a Panda Pop in a case of fine wine.

Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions.

“Sussudio” (1985)
Phil Collins

“Mother” (1983)
The Police

As arguably the most influential band of all time, The Beatles continually redefined what pop music could be – and they usually got it right. But “Revolution 9” remains a sticking point with fans and critics. A sound collage primarily created by John Lennon, advocates for the track say it’s an avant-garde, protest performance; but the majority of listeners are left wondering what the heck they’ve just listened to. A source for countless parodies, it proves that even the best can have a bad day.