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Top 10 Epic Rap Battles of History - TopX Ep.18

VO: Dan Paradis
Welcome to the eighteenth episode of TopX, the brand new show where we countdown the very best that YouTube has to offer! Today on a very special episode of TopX, we’re focusing on the work of a single set of individuals and counting down the Top 10 Epic Rap Battles of History.

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Top 10 Epic Rap Battles of History

Today on a very special episode of TopX, we're focusing on the work of a special set of individuals and counting down our picks for the top 10 Epic Rap Battles of History. For this list we're counting down our favorite epic rap battles of history as chosen by us and our viewers. We're ranking our picks based on a mix of our personal preference, votes from our users, and total views.

#10: Gandhi vs Martin Luther King Jr.

- Coming in at #10 is a civil rights showdown starring Comedy Superstars Key and Peele.
- The fact that these are some of the most companionate men in history does not mean they hold back, dropping burns on both sides that are juust under the line of too far.
- Fun fact, this is actually the first Epic Rap Battle where the two figures actually make direct physical contact, shown when the two warriors hug the fuck out of each other.
- Although my personal favorite is a line by MLK about flattening Gandhi’s style – I can’t deny that the best serve comes at the end from the master pacifist himself.

#9: Justin Bieber vs. Beethoven

- At #9 we have we have someone who was deaf against someone who makes you wish you were, the Bieber vs. my man B-Tovin.
- Those of you who know your history may know that Beethoven was not a happy guy, but here, he’s downright furious. Not that it doesn’t warrant it though, if you know how annoying the real life Justin Bieber is…
- You might even recognize Beethoven’s Fur Elise mixed into the beat, which, if you didn’t will explain that one bit of shade Justin throws Ludwig’s way early on.

#8: Mozart vs. Skrillex

- Next up we have another timeless composer facing off against yet another …divisive musical act, it’s Mozart vs. Skrillex.
- Personal favorites of mine are all in the pun category and come from both sides of the battle; namely baroque and worthless and (clears throat) skrill-excrement.
- Honestly, most of these battles are in good fun, but if there was one that we had to pick that seemed like it was trying to cut the deepest, it’s this one, specifically Mozarts verses. Ill let you judge for yourself

#7: Dr. Seuss vs. William Shakespeare

- The master of iambic pentameter throws down with the Who’s Who of Who ville for #7. Doctor Seuss’s writing is great stuff, but it’s not exactly Shakespeare, and nobody knows that better than Shakespeare.
- So, this is an interesting battle, as far as these things go. After starting the first verse a bit soft, with rhymes that fittingly can only be described as Shakespearian, Doctor Seuss comes back hard with a brutal verse. So, Shakespeare shakes it up for the second verse, spitting his rhymes waaaay faster, definitely making this battle a little closer to call.
- Doctor Seuss seems to know this, as for his second verse he calls on Who 1 and 2 to do his rapping for him, but it’s still a tossup to see who takes this one.

#6: Master Chief vs. Leonidas

- Finally, #6 we move entirely away from historical figures and let two fixtures of modern pop culture throw it down. This is a fight with some Kick, that should prove to be one HALO-‘vafight. [WORST PUN EVAR]
- For someone who’s pretty stoic in the games, Master Chief gets pretty crude here: between allusions to his plasma cannon and claiming to give more teabags than Lipton, John-117 is not holding back here.
- Apparently survey says that Master Chief won this one, but I sorta feel like Leonidas may have taken it. That may just be because he’s channeling Macho Man Randy savage, and I’m partial to it.

#5: Mario Brothers vs. Wright Brothers

- At #5 we have another Video Game character, or this time characters locked in a bitter verbal combat. Perhaps the strangest matchup yet, the plumbers are facing off against the fathers of flight, the brothers named Wright.
- Fans of good mythical morning should recognize Rhett and Link as the Wright Brothers, with series regulars EpicLloyd and Nice Peter repping Nintendo on the other side.
- While the Mario brothers definitely have the enthusiasm down, I think this one clearly goes to the Wright brothers for landing more video-game themed burns.

#4: Albert Einstein vs. Stephen Hawking

- After a few matchups that were a bit of a stretch, we’re finally back to a showdown of two equals. Albert Einstein’s throwin’ shade at Stephen Hawking, and it’s about to get physical….astro-physical.
- Those of you that are wondering, like I was, how Stephen Hawking could spit rhymes with his condition will be glad to know he’s taken a cue from Drake and autotuned himself to great results.
- So, two fun facts about this video. First, you can see Steven Hawking playing angry birds on his computer. And second, just in case you think this is all for jokes, this song, along with a number of others by the ERBoH crew, was certified gold by the Recording Industry Association of America…So there’s that.

#3: Barack Obama vs. Mitt Romney

- At #3 we have the most popular Rap Battle of History video ever published, at least in terms of views. Arriving at the perfect time in the midst of the last presidential election, it’s 2 rivals that are definitely well matched – Mitt Romney vs. Barack Obama.
- This rap actually contains one of the cleverest lines from anything, let alone from these rap battles. It goes: Republicans need a puppet and you fit
- In an unexpected twist, this battle eventually gets busted up by Abe Lincoln, who, I’m sure you’ll agree, comes out as the undisputed champion of it all.

#2: Hitler vs. Darth Vader Trilogy

- At number 2 we have 2 masters of evil: one real, one fictional. Who’s it gonna be? Mein Kampf or Mind Choke?
- This is the only time that this sentence is actually acceptable, but I think Hitler does better here. However, as is the case with the Star Wars movies, and thankfully not the case with World Wars, these rap battles are a trilogy.
- While many of these rap battles demonstrate a pretty good knowledge of history, these videos show a deep, deep knowledge of Star Wars. Bonus points for Boba Fett’s surprise entrance…and exit.
- While Hitler really has some strong showings throughout, the last verse by Vader really let’s the Fuhrer know who his daddy is.

Before we get to our Top Pick, here are a few honorable mentions.

HM: Mr. T vs. Mr. Rogers

HM: Abraham Lincoln vs. Chuck Norris

HM: Gandalf vs. Dumbledore

HM: Michael Jordan vs. Mohammed Ali

HM: Moses vs Santa Claus

HM: Rasputin vs Stalin

#1: Steve Jobs vs Bill Gates

- Taking the #1 spot on our list, representing one of the great existential debates of our time, we have a showdown in Silicone valley between Bill Gates and Steve Jobs.
- As this debate will seemingly last forever, so too is this rap battle evenly matched. Both sides actually drop some pretty good points, but Steve’s late game heavenly ascension clearly gets under Bill’s skin.
- However, the greatest shocker comes even later when the HAL 9000 from Kubrick’s Space Odyssey crashes the whole thing and crowns himself the king. It’s fitting way to settle an unsettle-able argument.

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