Top 10 Worst Movies Based On Toys

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Top 10 Worst Movies Based On Toys

VOICE OVER: Rebecca Brayton
Script Written by Noah Levy

If you were lucky, your childhood memories remain unsoiled after you watched these mediocre adaptations. Join http://www.WatchMojo.com as we count down our picks for the Top 10 Worst Movies Based on Toys. For this list, we're ranking theatrical or direct-to-video adaptations of toys and board games that were either badly made films, poor representations of their source material, or a combination of the two.

Special thanks to our user Grant Dillard for submitting the idea on our Interactive Suggestion Tool at http://www.WatchMojo.comsuggest
Transcript
Script Written by Noah Levy

Top 10 Worst Movies Based On Toys


If you were lucky, your childhood memories remain unsoiled after you watched these mediocre adaptations. Join http://www.WatchMojo.com as we count down our picks for the Top 10 Worst Movies Based on Toys.

For this list, we’re ranking theatrical or direct-to-video adaptations of toys and board games that were either badly made films, poor representations of their source material, or a combination of the two. Be warned: You’re about to see some of the most shameful cash grabs Hollywood has ever put out.

#10: “Barbie in the Nutcracker” (2001)

The first direct-to-video flick since 1987 to star the world’s most famous doll and the first ever to do so with computer animation, this one throws Barbie into a beloved fairytale – and the result is weak. While it does include some cool motion-capture animation done of the New York City Ballet, and features the always-welcome voice of Tim Curry, the film strays away from its source material in terms of both the toy and the Tchaikovsky ballet, and probably won’t provide much entertainment if you’re over the age of say, six.

#9: “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” (2009)

You can file this one under “Waste of Channing Tatum… Joseph Gordon-Levitt… Christopher Eccleston… Sienna Miller…” You get the idea. This Stephen Sommers-directed film is G.I. Joe in name only, retaining the basic concept of the Joes versus Cobra, but doing away with basically everything else. It’s a bland action film at best, and at worst, it showcases mediocre special effects, throws out years of character and relationship development, and presents us with a nearly unrecognizable Cobra Commander. Knowing may be half the battle, but avoidance is the other half.

#8: “My Little Pony: The Movie” (1986)

Before it became the unprecedented pop culture phenomenon it is today, MLP was exactly what it sounded like: The adventures of magical ponies. It got so popular, it even spawned a theatrical release that you’ve probably never heard of and probably wish you could go on not knowing about… sorry. It may’ve featured some delightful celebrity voices like those of Danny DeVito and Cloris Leachman, and it may’ve even had Tony Randall; but this film about the ponies fighting off a sentient blob of ooze called “The Smooze,” is best remembered as an unfortunate byproduct of ‘80s marketing schemes.

#7: “Battleship” (2012)

Oh, the puns we could come up with for this one… The beloved naval battle board game can provide endless hours of entertainment with its addictive gameplay and wide variety of strategies. The movie, on the other hand, has Taylor Kitsch and Rihanna fighting off CG Aliens in Hong Kong. Did we ask for this? Nope. Did we want it? No way. Predictably, this drastic shift in tone didn’t sit well with fans of the game, and that meant the movie sunk faster at the box office than one of its titular ships. Oh come on, we HAD to make ONE joke…

#6: “Bratz” (2007)

If Barbie is just too “last century” for you, these dolls that made their debut in the early-2000s were the toys that gave you your fashionable plastic fix. The movie, which can basically be summed up as “Mean Girls” minus anything resembling edge, is just as plastic and shallow as its namesake. Serving as both an unrealistic and unmemorable representation of high school life, and a thin adaptation of an already thin toy, this one is best suited for the pile of obscure 2000s’ cinema.

#5: “Raggedy Ann & Andy: A Musical Adventure” (1977)

It was one of the first toy adaptations ever put on screen, and it’s the one most likely to leave permanent mental scars. This big screen version of the beloved doll and her brother would probably make sense to anyone on a righteous amount of drugs – it was the ‘70s after all – but it proved to be a terrifying, traumatic experience for its youthful target audience. The movie barely focuses on its title characters, because when you think of Raggedy Ann, you should definitely be thinking of wormholes, naked dancing dolls, and a blob monster made of taffy. Childhood wonder at its very finest.

#4: “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” (2009)

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Michael Bay? It’s most likely this incomprehensible sequel. This widely despised robot beat ‘em up traded in both the spirit of the toys and its predecessor for an intolerable Shia LaBeouf, robot testicles, and a seemingly unending climax where Bay packs as many explosions into one finale as some directors would struggle to fit in their entire career. It was so bad that even Bay himself considers it to be “crap,” but that didn’t stop him from making more… Ahem, “Age of Extinction” anyone?

#3: “Ouija” (2014)

A wooden board: this is the point we’ve reached with our movie adaptations. And you guys think WatchMojo’s running out of ideas… Granted, the idea of a group of friends using the “spooky” board game to communicate with the dead could actually hold some weight, but under the guidance of a team of producers that includes the one and only Michael Bay, it’s reduced to a series of jump scares and things that go bump in the night. The funniest part of all is Hasbro actually believed that releasing a movie where their product is directly responsible for several deaths was a wise marketing move.

#2: “Dungeons & Dragons” (2000)

You’d think the makers of a movie based on the most influential table top role playing game of all time would know better than to turn it into a lazy, laughable cheesefest; but that’s what happened with this notoriously bad adaptation. While it does feature dungeons and even some dragons, it also features offensive writing, ridiculously cheap special effects, and a lack of adherence to the beloved source material. Despite this, some still are able to find enjoyment in its low quality, specifically Jeremy Iron’s famously hammy performance as Profion.

Before we reveal our top pick, here are some dishonorable mentions:
- “Masters of the Universe” (1987)
- “Pound Puppies and the Legend of Big Paw” (1988)

#1: “The Garbage Pail Kids Movie” (1987)

It’s actually painful to even talk about this one. Where most of the previously listed movies landed here because they were poor adaptations of their source material, this movie takes the top spot for being too GOOD of an adaptation. Much like the trading cards on which it’s based, this movie – targeted at a child audience – is ugly, gross, offensive, and will leave you with an awful taste in your mouth. The difference is that you can’t toss this away after staring at it for 20 seconds; instead it burns and bores its way into your retinas, lingering… actually, you know what? The cards are just as terrifying.

Do you agree with our list? What’s the worst movie based on a toy? For more entertaining top 10s published every day, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.
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