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The 10 Weirdest Unlockables In Assassin's Creed Games

VOICE OVER: Josh McLean WRITTEN BY: Josh McLean
"Assassin's Creed" prides itself on historical accuracy, but it still has plenty of weird things players can unlock. For today's list, we'll reminisce about obtainables that were just straight up goofy for the historic fiction of this series, be it costumes, game modes, or weapons. Our list includes the Swordfish from "Assassin's Creed Valhalla" (2020), riding a Unicorn in "Assassin's Creed Brotherhood" (2010), the Skeleton Crew from "Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag" (2013), and more!
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Script written by Josh McLean

"Assassin's Creed" prides itself on historical accuracy, but it still has plenty of weird things players can unlock. For today's list, we'll reminisce about obtainables that were just straight up goofy for the historic fiction of this series, be it costumes, game modes, or weapons. Our list includes the Swordfish from "Assassin's Creed Valhalla" (2020), riding a Unicorn in "Assassin's Creed Brotherhood" (2010), the Skeleton Crew from "Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag" (2013), and more! What's your favorite strange unlockable in "Assassin's Creed?" Let us know in the comments.

#10: Desmond in Rome

"Assassin's Creed Brotherhood" (2010)

Desmond Miles, hero of the 21st century, can be loaded back into the 1500s during the events of Brotherhood. Unlocked by achieving 100% synchronization in Sequence 8, it’s no simple task, but using Desmond’s unique freerunning and fighting style against middle-ages goons is a pretty fun option. That might not seem too weird at first, until you hit cutscenes where Ezio is making moves on Desmond’s potential ancestors… in Desmond’s body. Basically, It’s like those uncomfortable scenes in Back To The Future with Marty and his mom. Plus, the guy just doesn’t look right on a horse.

#9: Ubisoft Tattoo

"Assassin's Creed Valhalla" (2020)

So you’re playing your own custom viking this time around. Slap on whatever blade or armor suits your fancy and get to questing, or make Eivor(Aye-vor) a little more personalized with whatever skin ink you could possibly dream of. We’re talking wolves, runes, handprints, this one that makes you look like raw meat, and the strangest of all… Ubisoft’s own corporate logo, in not one, not three, but four alternate forms. Which begs the question, who would want to deck themselves out as an esports-esque sponsored raider? Especially when certain actions we take as a player are slightly questionable from a morality standpoint, but that’s another conversation for another day. More fitting would be the “Abstergo” branding, as they exist as the masterminds of that universe - which, hey, can also be found in game. So what do ya’ know. If you’re really truely intent on messing with the fourth wall, unlock all of them for free with a Ubisoft account link.

#8: Cake Boss

"Assassin's Creed Unity" (2014)

Well, I don’t know how to tell you this, but if you played all the way through AC Unity thinking you fought every boss, think again! An additional fight can be unlocked only once you’ve found and eaten all five pink cakes scattered throughout Paris, each of which Arno miraculously scarfs down in one bite. Once you’ve interacted with the final massive cake in Luxembourg Palace, there is one final weird cherry on top of this already bizarre goosechase. The statue on top of the dessert suddenly comes to life, and makes his own leap of faith in an attempt to skewer you with his sword. The 1 on 1 with Sir Cakeington isn’t exactly hard, but he does deal huge damage on any landed hit. Once he falls, fireworks will light up the sky box and leave you sitting back in your chair contemplating. “W- why??? What was that?”

#7: Skeleton Crew

"Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag" (2013)

Viewers beware you're IN for a scare! What does roughly twenty hours of sidequesting, and 100 additional “Abstergo challenges” get you? Only the BEST optional mode introduced to any pirate game thus far. Yes, we’re talking about the gaggle of living skeletons running your pirate ship. They don’t lose any personality from their flesh and blood counterparts, meaning after a successful plunder you’ll see them hyping each other up, sharing in a bear hug, or just pushing each other around. Really, the weirdest part about this is they are still determined to sing shanties despite not having lungs, and that you can’t be a skeleton yourself. But… heh heh, look, he’s trying to drink but he’s a skeleton…

#6: Ride The Unicorn

"Assassin's Creed Brotherhood" (2010)

Back to Rome, it may surprise you to learn that completing only the very first sequence with 100% sync enables Ezio to alter every equestrian mount in the game. Yeah, horses are now Unicorns for the general population of Europe and everyone is just kinda fine with it. This was long before the bonkers rideable options of Valhalla mind you, which must be mentioned for featuring robot lions, polar bears, and giant wolves, the last of which is somehow the most believable these days. I guess that just proves assassins get all the coolest pets, but not only that, as the bond between Unicorn and Ezio is so powerful that it blesses a glow effect upon all of his weapons. Neat?

#5: Big Mouth

"Assassin's Creed Rogue" (2014)

Likely the most hilarious unlockable mode on this list, rivaling that of the jolly singing skeletons. After sidequesting for a decent 45 extra Abstergo challenges, the supple voice of Shay Cormac will be forced to deliver horrendous one-liners to everyone’s dismay. (Lands a headshot) “That’s how you get A HEAD in life!” Similar to Black Flag’s “pirate speak” cheat, except far more out of character, charming, and ridiculous. No longer can you just climb something tall or get into combat without the rogue making some early Spider-Man level quip to himself. I’ve seldom encountered a mode that so effortlessly makes me both chuckle, and groan in pain in rapid succession. You have to experience it for yourself if you have the chance.

#4: Swordfish

"Assassin's Creed Valhalla" (2020)

It's an actual FISH! SWORD! Next entry. Wait. I need to elaborate just a touch more. The weaponized seafood is probably the silliest item in the game so far, but it comes at the cost of your time! Only obtainable after completing every fishing mission from your settlement's fishing hut, just finding the right areas across several of the game's country maps is no joke. All that said, its stats… are really good! And I can’t pass up on a two handed greatsword in the form of a fish, that sets enemies on fire… for some reason. No godly idea why. They refuse to elaborate. Cutting dudes’ heads off just hits a little different when you're using a living animal as a blade. Amazing content.

#3: The Raiden Skin

"Assassin's Creed Brotherhood" (2010)

The first in only a few silly crossovers is this cybernetic ninja suit that hails from the Metal Gear series. This fit changes the physical shape of Ezio’s body, leaving only his head from its original model. The strangeness in the details continue with invisible hidden blades, a lack of sheaths causing all your weapons to float, and a holstered pistol that can not be equipped. Somehow this is not a slapped together fan mod, but a legitimate unlockable for completing 100% of the tutorial mode. Hey, at least it looks good in motion, but I cannot get over cyber-beard over here.

#2: The Kweh

"Assassin's Creed Origins" (2017)

A... giant Final Fantasy bird? Am I reading this right? “Is anyone else seeing this?” - said the entire playbase of Origins, when the crossover quest “A Gift from the Gods” was added post launch. As a part of an event with Final Fantasy XV, some pink haired anime dude invades your world, drops a bunch of junk and leaves, again, refusing to elaborate. I can’t even explain the whiplash this one cutscene causes, as Bayek watches magical swords rain from the sky and suck some dude into heaven. The strangest artifact left behind from his tear in the animus is the Kweh. A rideable mount based on the “chocobo”, but I guess even the devs thought that would be too silly, so it’s sort of a half camel, half bird - thing. Double u, tee, eff, guys. Next time I challenge you to dial it up even harder. Have Master Chief walk into frame and hand you keys to a spaceship. Why not?

#1: Turkey Creed

"Assassin's Creed 3" (2012)

So we’ve seen the silly, we’ve seen the bizarre. How do we top this and bring it all home? Um. Feeding a turkey during the American revolution with a secret code gives it a little assassin hood... Once again, walking up to a seemingly ordinary turkey. Pressing the inputs for the famous “Konami code”, which once gave the player extra lives, that being “up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-b-a-start.” THIS WILL, IN FACT unlock the knowledge of a secretive turkey creed. What more do I say about this? What would you say about this? What is this!? He doesn’t even have “Eagle Vision”... He’s got… y’know “turkey vision” or whatever. Goodbye.
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