Top 10 2000s Movies We Wish Were NEVER Made
#10: “I Know Who Killed Me” (2007)
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This thriller's convoluted tale about memory, murder, and exotic dancing never made complete sense. Lead actress Lindsay Lohan seemed trapped in a story that asked too much of her. She played both a torture victim and the woman who might be her long-lost twin. On a quest to uncover the truth, the actress fought through a meandering plot that was ultimately resolved, though there were many lingering questions. Needless to say, the baffling ending prompted many viewers to throw their hands up in disbelief. "I Know Who Killed Me" might not have ended Lohan's film career, but it definitely didn't do her any favors.
#9: “Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2” (2004)
"Baby Geniuses'' wasn't the kind of material that demanded a sequel, despite its moderate box office success. Yet for some reason, a second film titled “Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2,” expanded on the concept of advanced infants. Predictably, the whole thing felt incredibly stilted and utterly unnecessary. For instance, in their quest to stop a crazed villain, the young actors fought in action sequences that can only be described as oddly choreographed. Special effects didn’t help the movie in the slightest, either. Jon Voight’s shameless performance made it unintentionally hilarious, but even he couldn’t save it from being a complete disaster.
#8: “Freddy Got Fingered” (2001)
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With a title like this, it’s safe to say that Tom Green faced an uphill battle. “Freddy Got Fingered” became a cult film, but it’s difficult to determine whether or not that accolade was deserved. In addition to directing the flick, Green played Gordon Brody, a wannabe cartoonist who moved to Los Angeles to realize his dreams. He didn’t hold back when it came to delivering increasingly offensive scenes. His alternative comedy stylings involved a number of controversial subjects and tasteless gags. Needless to say, the movie had the potential to single-handedly destroy the performer’s film career. It’s not hard to see why it largely scared audiences away.
#7: “The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas” (2000)
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This prequel film took us to a Stone Age Vegas. But it overstayed its welcome with a jumbled mess of homages and the occasional musical number. If this was meant for kids, the setting and love story’s more adult themes felt out of place. But there also wasn’t much to entice grown-ups. The origins of Fred, Wilma, and the gang failed to make a splash. Mark Addy and Kristen Johnston tried their best with the material, but ultimately the movie just couldn't justify itself. The cartoon series was full of funny stories, good jokes, and captivating characters. The film paled in comparison.
#6: “Battlefield Earth” (2000)
John Travolta co-produced and starred in this sci-fi project, based on author and Scientologist mastermind L. Ron Hubbard's book. If the jarring camerawork didn’t make you turn off the movie, the goofy narrative probably did. The futuristic and enslaved Earth story featured a ton of tropes and stiff acting. And Travolta's crazy costume and performance produced nightmares and laughs in equal amounts. Honestly, this spotty film looked like it was created by a dozen different artists who never spoke to each other. Its connection to the controversial religion aside, the entire movie felt like a bad rip-off of much better science fiction.
#5: “Son of the Mask” (2005)
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While "The Mask" featured an exciting Jim Carrey performance, he was notably absent from this clunker of a follow-up. The many well-orchestrated gags of a comedy genius were replaced, and the result was a lackluster superhero film. Jamie Kennedy took the reins in a sequel that tried desperately to appeal to both kids and adults. It blended childlike humor with attempts to woo back fans of the more mature original, but wasn’t successful. At least Alan Cumming was having fun as the trickster Loki? In the end, the fights and misplaced music were too much. Looking to capitalize on the franchise’s name, the studio mangled the film in every aspect of the production.
#4: “Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd” (2003)
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“Dumb and Dumber” made comedy history, but the producers of that classic decided to cash in on a prequel. Were you ever compelled to learn the origins of Harry and Lloyd? We didn't think so. The leads attempted to channel Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels, but the result was closer to a bad caricature. While revisiting these characters in high school seemed like a promising idea, it ended up being a below-average comedy with offensive jokes. This movie doesn't have much in the way of memorable moments, aside from a small appearance from the late great Bob Saget. Most of the comic set pieces were based around tired bits, so it was exhausting.
#3: “Disaster Movie” (2008)
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Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer created a work that truly earned its title. After the cringey "Epic Movie" and "Meet the Spartans," the duo gave us what was possibly their worst project. “Disaster Movie” took aim at a senseless litany of movies and genres, stringing together a series of shallow parodies. But not even the threat of global destruction spiced up this comedy. Kim Kardashian's role in the film provided better satire than most of the planned jokes. There's no real rhyme or reason to what took place on screen, making for a deeply forgettable viewing experience.
#2: “The Hottie & the Nottie” (2008)
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What could go wrong with Paris Hilton in a comedy? “The Hottie and the Nottie” confirmed that the heiress was not quite cut out for the genre, though she didn’t have much to work with. The premise was that her character Cristabel would only date Nate if her “ugly” friend June had a special someone too. Only when the "Nottie" actress Christine Lakin became conventionally pretty did she get any real attention. The twisted narrative promoted harmful ideas about beauty standards, and featured some pretty tasteless jokes. A predictable story added to the obnoxious and hurtful messaging. Hilton’s Razzie-winning performance was only one small piece of a comedy puzzle that never came together.
#1: “Dragonball Evolution” (2009)
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“Dragonball Evolution” succeeded at one thing: ruining almost everything people loved about the series. From the questionable casting to the comical fight scenes, this live-action remake left a terrible taste in everyone’s mouths. High schooler Goku’s quest to save the world didn’t really resonate, with the narrative coming across as choppy. Justin Chatwin’s lead performance further contributed to the film’s many problems. In fact, most of the actors failed to deliver on their characters. There’s no telling what was going through the filmmakers' minds as they dreamed up this catastrophic adaptation. Taking the lore of “Dragonball” for a casual spin, this movie became memorable for all the wrong reasons.
