Top 10 Cartoon Friends You're Glad Aren't Yours
#10: Ronaldo Fryman
“Steven Universe” (2013-20)
We couldn’t have said it better ourselves. Ronaldo is written to represent all of the worst aspects of nerd culture, meaning he’s an awkward and immature geek who doesn’t really seem to contribute much to society. Still, Ronaldo carries himself with an air of superiority, seeing himself as an important figure in Beach City and believing that his conspiracy theory blog is extremely relevant and hard hitting. In reality it’s often filled with misinformation and doesn’t seem to get much traffic. While Ronaldo isn’t really a bad person, his negative attitude and poor social skills make him a super unappealing friend, especially in contrast to the rest of the colorful and exciting personalities of the Steven Universe cast.
#9: Bart Simpson
“The Simpsons” (1989-)
Top 20 Worst Things Bart Simpson Has Done
Before you have a cow, we’d like to go on record and say that we love Bart Simspon. However, a lot of what made the 90s counterculture icon such an appealing character is also what would make him a less than desirable friend. Part of Bart’s charm is his unshakeable belief that he’s the coolest, edgiest kid to ever grace the playground. However, Bart’s constant prank pulling and attention seeking misbehavior honestly seem pretty exhausting to be around. Given Bart’s volatile personality, it makes sense that his closest friend, Milhouse, would be someone a little bit more on the meeker side. Also, let’s be honest: we wouldn’t want a friend who’s constantly telling us to “eat his shorts.”
#8: Bender Bending Rodriguez
“Futurama” (1999-2015)
Top 10 Bender Moments On Futurama
Similar to Bart, a lot of Bender’s most watchable traits are things that would turn anybody off of him as a friend. A foul mouthed, alcoholic, womanizing robot whose primary function is to bend metal but whose primary motivation seems to be greed; all we have to do is look at the way Bender treats his other human friends to realize that his programming doesn’t seem totally suited to friendship. Bender has made it clear that he places little value in human life, and it shows as he’s constantly stealing from, antagonizing, and abusing his friends. Maybe it would be fun to party with the shiny, metal, repro-bot for one night, but chances are we’d end up broke, injured, or worse.
#7: Lucy van Pelt
“Peanuts” franchise (1965)
Top 20 Classic I Love Lucy Moments
There are few animated friendships as exquisitely toxic as Charlie Brown and Lucy’s. Lucy, the brash and mean-spirited older sister of Charlie Brown’s best friend, Linus, resembles that typical bossy friend that we’ve all had at some point. Lucy is the very definition of overbearing, constantly pushing her friends around and talking down to everybody. More than anything, Lucy loves to be seen as an authority figure, and seems to find unending pleasure in exploiting the neuroses of Charlie Brown. The fact that Charlie Brown falls for Lucy’s tired old football trick time after time is as much a testament to her near sociopathic prowess for manipulation as it is to his blockheadedness.
#6: Candace Flynn
“Phineas and Ferb” (2007-15)
It’s an expectation of any friendship that you’ll be there for your friend when they need advice, to vent, or help with a problem. That being said, supporting Candace’s obsessions with getting her brothers busted and Jeremy to notice her seems a bit too demanding for us. Every situation is a crisis with Candace and being friends with someone so stressful sounds, well, stressful! Candace's best friend Stacy mostly seems none too bothered by Candace’s manic personality, but as viewers, we can’t help but notice how one-sided their friendship is. Friendship with Candace means it’s all about Candace all the time. Honestly, we’d rather hang with Stacy.
#5: Eddy
“Ed, Edd n Eddy” (1999-2009)
Top 10 Worst Things Ed, Edd n Eddy Have Done
This one probably comes as no surprise. Eddy is one third of “Ed, Edd, n Eddy’s” eponymous trio and the self-idealized king of the cul-de-sac. He spends almost all of his energy coming up with get-rich-quick schemes, most of which involve exploiting the other neighborhood kids. While Ed and Double-D also take part in his plans, it’s safe to say that Eddy is the one directing them towards mischief, and that the two would probably be much better off without his influence. When he’s not bearing down on Ed and Double-D, he’s bragging about his older brother, or picking fights with the other neighbourhood kids, all of whom are pretty justified in their disdain for the little swindler.
#4: Blooregard Q. "Bloo" Kazoo
“Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends” (2004-09)
If we were to dream up an imaginary friend, and could mold their personality however we saw fit, it’s unlikely that we’d come up with a companion like Bloo. It should be said that Bloo is a good foil to his creator, Mac, forcing him out of his comfort zone and making him take on the role of the more responsible one in their friendship. However, this dynamic isn’t really by design, it’s more a result of Bloo’s rascality and immaturity. Bloo’s mercurial temper, jealousy, and egomania dominate all of his relationships, and while it’s clear that he means a lot to Mac and the rest of the imaginary friends, we certainly wouldn’t want to live under the same roof as him.
#3: Peter Griffin
“Family Guy” (1999-)
Top 20 Hilarious Peter Griffin Moments on Family Guy
Love him or hate him as a character, it’s pretty inarguable that Peter would make for a terrible friend. Peter is exceedingly crude, immature, and irresponsible; often written to be as repugnant and offensive as possible. Whether it’s bullying his daughter Meg, or making jokes at the expense of anybody different than him, a lot of Peter’s humor is written around how he mistreats the people in his life. Peter is pure chaos energy, and while it’s sometimes hilarious watching Peter interact with the people around him, there’s no part of us that wishes to take any of their places. Especially since the rest of the “Family Guy” cast isn’t much better.
#2: Patrick Star
“SpongeBob SquarePants” (1999-)
Top 10 Worst Things That Happened to Patrick Star
While Patrick may be the perfect friend for someone as childish and unaware as his sea sponge bestie, to us, being his friend seems like a chore at best and life threatening at worst. Patrick’s cartoonish doltishness often makes for the best gags in Spongebob, however those same gags also paint the starfish as insensitive, annoying, and dim-witted to the point of being genuinely dangerous. Whether he’s convincing Spongebob to play with deadly fish-hooks*, or abusing his neighbor Squidward,** Patrick’s ignorance often provokes animosity and exasperation from the other inhabitants of Bikini Bottom - all of whom would surely prefer him and Spongebob just keep to themselves. Although what can you expect from someone who literally lives under a rock?
Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions.
Heather, “Total Drama” (2007-14)
The Type of Friend Who Manipulates People to Get What She Wants
Carl Wheezer, “The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius” (2002-06)
The Type of Friend Who’s Whiny & Has a Creepy Obsession with... Your Mother
Pony Head, “Star vs. the Forces of Evil” (2015-19)
The Type of Friend Who Sabotages Others' Relationships So That She Can Stay Number 1
Rigby, “The Regular Show” (2010-17)
The Type of Fun, Carefree Friend Who Can Be a Little Bit Too Immature & Callous
Chloé Bourgeois, “Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir” (2015-)
The Type of Friend Who Constantly Wants to Put You Down & Show Off
#1: Eric Cartman
“South Park” (1997-)
Top 10 Eric Cartman Plans That Blew Up In His Face
From the very first episode of “South Park,” Cartman is shown to be a manipulative, psychopathic monster, representative of all of the worst traits imaginable in a child. Crass, belligerent, and purposefully despicable, it makes sense that everybody who hangs out with Cartman actually hates him. While at times Cartman seems desperate to be liked and to be thought of as cool by his friends, it’s not because he cares about them or their feelings; it’s simply because he’s a narcissist. Cartman seems to spend time with his friends purely just to antagonize and bully them, often going to absurd, if hilarious, lengths just to get a rise out of them.
0
0
report