Top 10 Funniest New Girl Episodes
#10: “Elaine’s Big Day”
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Given how much Winston loves pranks, one of the episodes on this list had to feature one of his prankster-pieces. There were plenty to choose from, but the season two finale is the one that hit the spot for us, as Schmidt gets Winston’s prank juices flowing when he asks him to help break up Cece’s wedding. Throw in Nick and Jess having a heart-to-heart about the state of their relationship, learning that “Cotton Eye Joe” is Nick's jam and Taylor Swift as the eponymous “Elaine” and what’s not to like here? And let’s be honest: how could an episode featuring the guys crawling through air ducts with an angry badger not make this list?
#9: “Cooler”
This episode doesn’t just feature Nick and Jess’s first smooch, but one of the great first kisses in sitcom history. Well, actually, while the liplocking is great, it’s the lead up to it that’s so fantastic. A naughty game of “True American” leads to Jess and Nick in a room together with a crowd outside chanting “kiss, kiss, kiss.” For a season and a half we watched the will-they-or-won’t-they play out between these two and then in this 15th episode of the second season they basically give us a full episode of will-they-or-won’t-they. Multiple false starts, weird faces and an awkward countdown eventually lead to Nick out on the ledge of the building. And just when we think it’s not going to happen...
#8: “The Box”
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If you had a box full of bills and you inherited $8000, what would you do? Most of us would use that money to pay off the bills, debt collectors, loan sharks, IRS and our friend. But then again, most of us aren’t Nick Miller. To Jess’s dismay, Nick is a master at avoiding all adult responsibilities and instead goes out to blow the money on everything from shoes to glamor shots. Jess eventually decides to take Nick’s responsibilities into her own hands, which doesn’t get her the big thank you she might have hoped for. This episode also features one of the all-time great Nick Miller quotes, as he proclaims that he will not pay taxes or serve on a jury until...
#7: “The Story of the 50”
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This episode takes a deep dive into Schmidt’s world and centers around his largest ever contribution to the, oh so awesome, douche jar. Fifty dollars might sound like a lot for the general Schmidt douchery, but when we find out what he did this time, it definitely feels like, to quote Jess “a discount.” The episode flashbacks through Schmidt’s 29th birthday celebrations. From the loss of his party bus to the new party bus that Jess puts together at the last minute, to the sweet moment of friendship that precipitates the $50 move. Such a good episode. We’d put $50 in a jar to watch it again.
#6: “Spiderhunt”
This season four episode doesn’t do much to advance any of the main stories or characters, but not every episode has to do that. But it does need to be funny and “Spiderhunt” is very funny. As the episode title suggests, the show centers around the gang hunting down a spider in the apartment due to Schmidt’s fear of the eight-legged creatures. In one of the side stories, Jess tries to get Winston to tell her who Cece likes in the loft, and when he denies it’s Schmidt, she assumes it’s Nick. This leads to the funniest moment of the episode when Jess asks Nick about his feelings for Cece and he thinks she’s talking about a new popcorn machine for the bar.
#5: “Menzies”
You’d think that centering an episode around the central character’s PMS would be a bad idea, but in the deft hands of the “New Girl” writers, it’s a top ten episode. And Jess’s premenstrual emotions are just the tip of this perfectly odd iceberg. In fact, they are the most normal thing that happens over the course of these hysterical 20-something minutes. If “New Girl” was the city of Portland, then this episode lived up to the city’s unofficial motto of “keep Portland weird.” You got Winston diagnosing himself with sympathy PMS and Schmidt signing an S&M contract with his boss that includes one very Schmidt-like clause. And finally there’s Nick, who ends up in a pool cradled in an old Asian man’s arms.
#4: “Table 34”
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This episode picks up the morning after the one entitled “Cooler”. The morning after the kiss! “Table 34” starts off strong, with Nick moonwalking his way out of the awkward situation, and it just keeps getting stronger. The majority of the episode takes place at an Indian marriage convention where just the table organization system is fodder for a whole number of great lines. And Nick and Jess aren’t the only ones dealing with sexual tension. The reason the guys are there in the first place is because Schmidt was trying to stop Cece from finding a match other than himself. Even if it meant dressing up like, to quote Winston, [“the fortune teller in ‘Big.’”]
#3: “Models”
As per the title, there are so many great moments revolving around models and the idea of models in this episode: from Jess trying to dress up to fit in with Cece and her model friends to taking over for a hungover Cece modeling at a car show. As for the guys, Winston and Schmidt get on Nick for his brand of emotionless friendship and their need for some kind of appreciation and reciprocation. As Seinfeld once told Elaine, [“look to the cookie.”] And it’s a cookie that finally brings about the emotional honesty Schmidt has been looking for as well as one of the most quoted lines in the history of the show.
#2: “Background Check”
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This episode puts Winston front and center as a real character and not just the secondary, weird other roommate (although, we love that guy, too). The episode title refers to the home inspection and background check that Winston must pass as part of his police academy training. And while we obviously know that things aren’t going to go smoothly, the fact that it’s Jess who is hiding drugs in the house is a funny surprise. Especially considering what kind of drugs they are. Okay, it’s actually just aquarium rocks, but Jess thinks it’s meth. Nick not being able to lie without sweating is LOL and we also get a genuine heartfelt moment of Jess/Winston friendship that grounds this top-notch episode. Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions. “No Girl” While the Cat's Away, the Mice Will Play: Nick Uses the Loft the as an Airbnb When Jess’ Got Jury Duty “Injured” Nick Reevaluates His Life After Hurting His Back Playing Football “Virgins” Flashback to Each of the Characters’ First Times “Thanksgiving IV” Schmidt Plans a “Bangs-giving” Celebration for the Gang “Pepperwood” Nick Goes Undercover as Julius Pepperwood
#1: “Quick Hardening Caulk”
Four episodes after the kiss Nick and Jess are finally dealing with the attraction that’s been lingering since ‘will they or won’t they’ became they did. It begins with Nick trying to be a take-charge man. And by “take charge,” we mean washing his clothes and possibly taking a vitamin. But it’s enough to have Jess swooning, and the double-entendre laced trip to the hardware store is pure “New Girl” gold. In other news, Cece’s recent engagement has left a hole in Schmidt’s heart that he tries to fill with a state-protected lion fish - although it takes a jellyfish sting to the face for him to realize this. It’s one of the weirder sub-plots of New Girl, but it’s without a doubt one of the most hilarious.
