Top 10 Movies That Were Doomed From The Start
#10: “Justice League” (2017)
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Wait, put down the pitchforks! We’re not saying the idea of “Justice League” was terrible. The promise of these five heroes teaming up was undeniably exciting. But considering that the DCEU’s last team up film, “Suicide Squad,” went awry, there were fears that history could repeat itself. Fans were further alarmed when, during post-production, director Zack Snyder had to step down due to a family tragedy, and his replacement Joss Whedon substantially reshot the movie. The result was a cliched villain, rushed character introductions, scattered story, and mishmash of tones; it was met with mostly negative reviews and had a lower box office opening than “Suicide Squad”. Fans deserved better; but it wasn’t until 2021’s Snyder Cut that they got it!
#9: “Battleship” (2012)
This extremely loose adaptation of the game revolves around alien ships coming to earth. After American and Japanese ships find themselves trapped inside of an alien force field, they fight the invaders with, you guessed it, battleships. The ridiculous premise raised questions about its audience from the start. If this movie was for fans of the game, why include aliens? If it’s for new audiences, why call it “Battleship? The ludicrous idea didn’t appeal to critics either, and ultimately received a 34% score on Rotten Tomatoes. Oh, and if the bad premise wasn’t enough, it opened a week after “Avengers” premiered. This ship was destined to sink.
#8: “Foodfight!” (2012)
In the early 2000s, an animated film about grocery store mascots apparently seemed like a promising idea. So much so that director Lawrence Kasanoff was able to secure a $65 million-dollar budget… then the trouble began. First the movie was called out for its obvious product placement. Then in 2002, hard drives containing important movie data were stolen, forcing animators to start over. After a few canceled premiere dates, the film finally came out in the UK… in 2012. Upon its release, the ugly animation, awkward innuendos and absurd amount of advertising resulted in a film that was way past its expiration date.
#7: “Son of the Mask” (2005)
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Turning a dark comedy sequel into a family film is a risky idea to begin with. But that didn’t stop Hollywood from trying with “Son of the Mask”. In the film, an animator gains mystical powers by putting on the titular mask. After wearing it into the bedroom, he fathers a baby who has the mask’s powers. Throughout the film, the powers produce terrifying imagery that feels unsuitable for children. But the movie’s a bad fit for adults as well, as the jokes are unfunny and Jamie Kennedy can’t replace Jim Carrey’s performance from the original “Mask” film. The 6% score on Rotten Tomatoes confirms that “Son of the Mask” wasn’t a fit for anyone.
#6: “Ghostbusters” (2016)
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The original “Ghostbusters” is a film cherished by many. While “Ghostbusters II” wasn’t as well-received, fans have eagerly awaited a continuation of the series. So it felt like a bait-and-switch in 2016 when instead, they got a reboot. The film featured an all female cast, leading to considerable backlash online. The trailer became the most disliked on YouTube, and cast member Leslie Jones was attacked on social media. Despite receiving okay reviews, “Ghostbusters” struggled at the box office, where the bad PR proved insurmountable. The movie was stuck fighting public opinion before it even opened.
#5: “Manos: The Hands of Fate” (1966)
Fertilizer Salesman Harold P. Warren bet he could make a movie with a $19,000 budget. The end result was “Manos: Hands of Fate”. The plot focuses on a family who accidentally stumbles across a cult. However, the hilariously low budget made it hard to see the terrifying cult in action. The lack of funding also meant no audio equipment, so all sound was recorded after shooting. In addition to editing the footage, Warren wrote the script and gave himself a lead role. The result is an incomprehensible story with bad acting. If not for “Mystery Science Theater 3000” featuring it, we might have missed this bet.
#4: “The Last Airbender” (2010)
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How can you cram a story that spanned 20 episodes of an epic cartoon series with superb character development and great action into one movie? Easy! Just render it unrecognizable, rob it of humor, and fill in tense action scenes with slow CGI. Then cast wooden actors who look nothing like their show counterparts and give them terrible dialogue. Oh and don’t forget to change the pronunciations of everyone’s names because of… reasons! That was the case for “The Last Airbender”, a movie that fans hated for barely resembling the original series. Its abysmal 5% on rotten tomatoes showed that the adaptation didn’t appeal to new viewers either.
#3: “Super Mario Bros.” (1993)
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The story of “Super Mario Bros” has always been simple. Two plumbers fight to rescue a princess in a magical kingdom. It’s understandable that writers would want to try something more complex but they went more than a little overboard. In the movie, the Mario brothers travel from their dimension to a dinosaur world to save their friend Daisy and get a meteorite shard to prevent two worlds from merging. If you have trouble following that, you’re not alone. Gamers, critics and everyone else were baffled at the strange setting and insane plot. It was a box office bomb that could’ve been prevented with a simpler story.
#2: “The Dark Tower” (2017)
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“The Last Airbender” may have tried to condense 20 episodes of TV into one movie, but that’s child’s play compared to the “Dark Tower”. This fantasy film focused on a boy who has to save two worlds with the help of Gunslinger Roland Deschain. The movie was meant to serve as a continuation of the Stephen King’s 8 book Dark Tower series, while also setting up the story for a prequel TV series. All in just 95 minutes. Needless to say, the movie was trying to establish way too much at once, dooming itself from the get go. Unsurprisingly, it was criticized for being confusing and rushed. When will Hollywood learn that less can be more? Before we condemn our top pick, here are a few dishonorable mentions. “Jaws: The Revenge” (1987) The Idea of a Shark Seeking Revenge Is Already Ridiculous “Street Fighter” (1994) Another Campy, Overstuffed Adaptation of a Video Game “Jem and the Holograms” (2015) Why Make an Adaptation While Ignoring So Much of the Source Material? “Cats” (2019) An Unfilmable Musical with Unwatchable CGI “Dolittle” (2020) This Adaptation of Hugh Lofting’s Classic Tales Was Inexplicably Stuffed with Juvenile Jokes
#1: “The Emoji Movie” (2017)
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Was anybody actually excited to see a movie about an emoji living inside of a phone world? From its announcement, this film elicited groans from cinegoers who saw it for what it was - one big piece of product placement with extra product placement sprinkled throughout. The fact that reviews couldn’t be released until the day of opening night was just the last of many warning signs. As such, it came as no surprise that the movie, despite performing well at the box office, was blasted by critics. The predictable plot further disappointed audiences. Expectations were never high for this film, but the finished product proved even worse than anyone could have imagined.
