Top 10 Songs About The Dumbest Things
#10: “My Humps” (2005)
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Black Eyed Peas Sexual innuendos pepper this song dedicated to a woman’s naturally protruding parts – referred to here as “humps”, as well as “lovely lady lumps.” Generally, “humps” are features most strongly associated with camels. And a lump on a person’s body is usually not a good thing. But as the song boasts, these particular lumps inspire attraction, admiration, and expensive gifts. They can even make people “drunk”. The lyrics are pretty weird, when you think about it, and get extremely repetitive - probably because there are only so many ways to praise a woman’s behind.
#9: “Body Like a Back Road”
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Sam Hunt If you don’t know this 2017 hit, don’t worry! As soon as you hear it, you’ll feel like you’ve heard it about a thousand times, thanks to the familiar musical formula. But Sam Hunt’s ode to the female form does stand out in one way: with the metaphor that features in the title and chorus. See, Hunt has met a woman, who wasn’t interested at first, but now he drives on her body like it’s a quiet rural road. By this, he seems to mean that he’s, ahem, “driving”, at a slow pace, through familiar territory. Or, maybe he’s literally making love to gravel. We aren’t really sure.
#8: “Miracles” (2010)
Insane Clown Posse With its descriptions of magic in everyday sights like rainbows, oceans, and animals, you might think this was a kid’s song – until you got to the liberal use of profanity. If the lyrics kept to things like music and love, which are hard to explain objectively, the premise of the song might work. But not only do the singers claim that ordinary objects, like magnets, are miracles, they denounce scientists, who could answer some of their questions! Also, they go off on all sorts of tangents, including one about a pelican eating a cell phone. The song begins with the line, “We got a theory.” Well, we have one, too: this song is actually nonsense.
#7: “Smelly Feet” (2019)
Submarine Man There are some odd song premises on this list, but this one is a doozy. No, it’s not a joke, and no, it’s not a kid’s song; it is in fact a song created by an adult man who is obsessed with smelly feet. Now, “Smelly Feet” should not be confused with other songs in Submarine Man’s oeuvre, like “Stinko Foot” and “I Love the Smelly Feet.” No, “Smelly Feet” stands - and stinks on its own. And the lyrics aren’t just about smelling feet: they also describe listening to feet, eating feet, and the evils of stockings. It’s hard to say exactly what the premise is, aside from what you get from the title, and we may be better off not knowing.
#6: “Hound Dog” (1956)
Elvis Presley It may seem odd that we’re tackling such a classic song; but if you consider the lyrics without the catchy tune, they don’t make much sense. The singer compares a person to a dog, claiming that they whine a lot and can’t catch rabbits; then he abruptly switches gears and talks about the person having a false reputation for being high class. Those are the only two points in the song, repeated many times, so you’d think they’d be connected - and in fact, in the original version, they were. The song made famous by Elvis was originally written for Big Mama Thornton, and is about a freeloading gigolo who’s mooching off her; and that’s why the premise in the Elvis version makes no sense!
#5: “Thong Song” (2000)
Sisqó If you think it’s hard to write an entire song about a sexy tractor, or your “lumps”, try penning an ode to a specific kind of underwear. Sisqó’s lyrics show him eager to glimpse under the dress of a woman who’s dancing, peppered with repeated words like “booty,” “da na da na,” and of course, “thong th-thong thong thong.” One of the oddest phrases, also frequently repeated, is “She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck,” and while the meaning is vague, it sounds ... alarming. And like something that’s potentially very messy in a thong.
#4: “50 Ways to Say Goodbye” (2012)
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Train This song’s title is misleading: it should really be, “50 Ways to Lie About Your Ex-Girlfriend Dying Horribly.” Yeah, it’s super creepy. Apparently the singer is so insecure that instead of just explaining that they broke up, he plans to tell his friends that his ex-girlfriend is dead - and he’s disturbingly creative about the means. Shark attack, mudslide, plane crash, drowning in a hot tub… it just keeps going, often driven by bad rhymes like “Eaten by a lion, got run over by a crappy purple Scion,” or lyrics that just make no sense: “Someday I’ll find a love like yours/She’ll think I’m Superman/Not super minivan/How could you leave on Yom Kippur?” This girl needs to run away, fast!
#3: “Friday” (2011)
Rebecca Black So far we’ve had weird songs and we’ve had creepy songs, but this is probably the most completely boring song on our list. There’s just nothing to it. The singer is happy it’s Friday, looking forward to the weekend (sure, most of us have been there), aaand that’s it. There’s nothing else. The premise is so thin as to be practically invisible, which is probably why the lyrics are simplistic and repetitive: besides the chorus about Friday, the song describes having cereal, choosing which seat to take on the bus, and the fact that Thursday comes before Friday, while Saturday and Sunday come after it. Riveting stuff... To be fair, Rebecca Black was 13 at the time, and didn’t write the words!
#2: “Summer Girls” (1999)
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LFO We’re nearing the top of our list, so it only makes sense that we should include a song that makes absolutely no sense. There are a few lines about girls and summer in “Summer Girls,” but most of the lyrics are completely unrelated to the title. So it’s hard to tell what the premise is supposed to be… if anything. Take random references to popular things at the time, like Cherry Coke, New Kids on the Block, and Abercrombie and Fitch; mix in some lines that sound like they got stuck in by accident, like “Chinese food makes me sick;” add lots of terrible rhymes, and you’ve got yourself one mess of a song.
#1 “Blue (Da Ba Dee)” (1998)
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Eiffel 65 This song has everyone asking: “what does that part in the chorus mean?” And of course, the answer was: Nothing, it’s just nonsense syllables. The premise of “Blue” is that there’s a blue guy living in a blue world, which could possibly be interesting, if there was any more to it; sadly, there isn’t. The singer merely lists familiar objects like windows, cars, and clothes, and tells us they’re blue. We heard the intro about the blue world, dude, we know! Well, he must have thought we didn’t, because those ideas just keep repeating. However, there are moments of excitement when they stress odd syllables or decide suddenly not to rhyme. It’s a true coup de grâce of dumb premises, and a fitting end to our list!
