Top 10 That '70s Show Jokes That Will NEVER Get Old
#10: “I Love Cake”
“I Love Cake”
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There’s no denying it, when together, Eric and Donna are one of television’s cutest couples. While sitting in Eric’s Vista Cruiser one night, Donna is uncharacteristically unresponsive. When pressed, she reveals that she’s worried about her parents' constant fighting. In order to cheer her up, Eric jokingly offers Donna his, err, body. Amazed that he always manages to brighten her mood, Donna tells him that she loves him. Eric, who is completely caught off guard, responds with: “I love…cake.” The response was silly, awkward, and sweet. But, most importantly, hilarious!
#9: Donna’s Breakfast
“Hyde Gets the Girl”
While hanging out in the Formans’ driveway, the gang is joined by their foreign exchange student friend, Fez. Having issues at ballet class, Fez is sporting a particularly puffy shirt. After a rather lame insult from Kelso, Eric tries his hand at a burn, only for Donna to insult his shirt instead. For as cute as they are in a relationship, Donna and Eric can be absolutely vicious when broken up. And Eric proves it with his response: “What did you have for breakfast – Carnation instant bitch?” It’s one of Eric’s most savage insults. Like Hyde says, “it’s outta’ the park.”
#8: Eric & Donna’s Special Brownies
“Dine and Dash”
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When the rest of the gang leaves them to pay for an expensive meal, Donna and Eric determine revenge is in order! So, the couple decides to bake their friends a batch of “special” brownies - only this time, the special ingredient is powerful laxatives! Cue a frantic race to the upstairs bathroom where Fez is left in the dust. It gets even worse for him however, as his girlfriend, Caroline, shows up in hopes of reconciling after a fight. It’s all capped off by Kelso returning and eating another brownie! What can we say, every part of this scene is an absolute gut buster – so to speak.
#7: Eric’s Softness
“Red and Stacey”
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When Eric arrives in the basement with some upsetting news, his friends are naturally overjoyed at the chance to mock him about it. It turns out the girl Eric crushed on at work likes his dad instead of him. When Eric asks why, Hyde explains that it’s because Red is a “hardass,” while Eric is “soft.” “How soft is he Hyde?” “Softer than Liberace at the Playboy mansion!” Almost as funny as the joke itself is Kelso’s reaction - once it’s explained to him, of course. “Oh! BURN!” The entire scene is fantastic, with a ton of great jokes throughout, but it was Hyde’s wicked insult that will always make us keel over laughing.
#6: “My Eye!”
“Class Picture” & “Heartbreaker”
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This running gag only appears in a few episodes, but it never fails to get a laugh. It all comes down to Kelso messing with Hyde, which always starts a fight. The various ways Kelso pushes Hyde’s buttons are amusing yet infuriating, so it’s actually fun to see him get his comeuppance once and awhile. Hyde is much better at fighting, so Kelso frequently begs off, citing an injured eye as a reason to stop the brawl. What’s funny is that half the time Hyde doesn’t even touch his face! Kelso’s one attempt at protecting his eyes doesn’t go any better though.
#5: Jackie’s Cold
“Ice Shack”
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In addition to bodily harm, Kelso also has his fair share of issues when it comes to relationships - particularly with Jackie. When trying to win her back after they’ve broken up, Kelso brings the gang to his uncle’s ice shack. He plans to imitate Eric and Donna’s “perfect” relationship in the hopes that this will endear him to Jackie. Naturally, it becomes one big fail. After Donna expresses how cold she is, Eric offers up his coat. This prompts a very different exchange between Jackie and Kelso: “I’m cold too.” “Well damn Jackie, I can’t control the weather!” Even when his heart is in the right place, Kelso still manages to fall on his face. At least we got this hilarious line out of it!
#4: Burn on Everyone
“The Acid Queen”
Kelso loves a good burn, and this is arguably his most epic! After hooking up with the gorgeous local librarian, Brooke, at a concert, no one believes him. This is due in part to Brooke's constant denials that it ever happened. It’s only near the end of the episode that she finally admits they had a night together. And so, Kelso proceeds to smugly yell “burn” at each of his friends - not to mention Red and Kitty up in the upstairs kitchen. Of course, Kelso ends up getting “burned” himself when Brooke drops a bomb on him – she’s pregnant! Suddenly, his tune changes!
#3: Octoburn
“The Battle of Evermore”
Speaking of burns, one of the most blistering is delivered by Red Forman. After Eric gets engaged to Donna while they’re still in high school, he and his father argue, even more than usual. This comes to a head when Red tasks Eric with trimming the hedges in the driveway, only for him to spend his time talking to his friends instead. Red comes out and delivers a wonderfully sarcastic remark: “So, I guess this is the way an immature, engaged, high school dumbass, with no car, no job and no money, trims the hedges.” Eric’s friends are rightfully in awe of Red’s ability to condense 8 burns into one sentence - an epic “octoburn.”
#2: Kelso’s Rabbit Story
“Hyde’s Birthday”
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On Hyde’s Birthday, Eric, Donna, and Kelso decide the perfect gift for him should be something dirty and stolen – a street sign. When they have trouble removing it, it’s up to Kelso to retrieve a saw from Red’s toolbox. Naturally, Red catches him in the act. Thinking faster than he ever has before, Kelso claims he needs it to rescue a rabbit that’s been thrown up a tree. “…and I want to return that rabbit to the wild so it can lay its eggs.” When Red asks how it got up the tree in the first place, in a hilarious twist, Kelso pins it on Eric. It’s all very ludicrous and silly, just the way we like it!
Before we get to our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:
Fez Dreams of Kelso, “You Shook Me”
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Mountie Interrogation, “Canadian Road Trip”
What ARE the Mounties Doing in Canada?
Foreplay According to Red & Kitty, “The Pill”
Of All the Uncomfortable Things to Talk to Your Parents About…
“A Car That Runs on Water Man!”, Various
Hyde’s Favorite Topic in the Circle
Kelso Calls the White House, “Can’t You Hear Me Knocking”
It Goes Exactly as You’d Expect
#1: “A God I Say!”
“Eric’s Panties”
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After partnering with Shelly for a class assignment, Eric enjoys the attention he’s getting from her. Unfortunately, Donna finds another pair of women's underwear in his car. This leads to a confrontation with Fez and Kelso present to provide commentary. When Shelly denies that the panties are hers and leaves, Donna’s mother arrives and reveals that they’re hers. “ERIC! YOU ARE A GOD! A GOD I SAY!” Kelso and Fez’s extreme, and misplaced, hero worship is not only one of the funniest moments of the show's run, but it’s a contender for one of the funniest sitcom moments ever. It gets us every time!
