Top 10 Worst Scenes from the Fifty Shades Series
The Fifty Shades series is highly successful! Whether you love it or hate it you can't deny that it's a box office powerhouse. However, these have got to be some of the worst scenes from the Fifty Shades series! For this list, we're taking a look at the dumbest and most cringe-worthy moments from this critically panned film franchise.
#10: Mr. Grey Will See You Now “Fifty Shades of Grey” (2015)
This series establishes upfront that it’s going to anything but subtle, as Anastasia Steele arrives at an elongated building to interview billionaire Christian Grey. Ana is covering for her ill roommate, who apparently didn’t think to ask another journalist student to fill in. Making her way through an office full of Fembots, Ana is introduced to the intense Mr. Grey… right after a Gerald Ford moment. Following some uncomfortable questions, Christian asks Ana about herself. Ana makes herself out to be dumpy and unflattering when she’s clearly gorgeous enough to be on a magazine cover. The writers neglected to give Ana a personality, however, which makes Christian’s instant obsession with her all the more questionable.
#9: The Car Chase “Fifty Shades Freed” (2018)
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As Ana and Christian are pursued by a mysterious driver, the film forgets that it’s supposed to be an erotic drama and instead becomes a commercial for the Audi R8. Seriously, everything from the cinematography to the music feels like an ad. What’s even more inexplicable is that this car chase takes place on a freeway in Seattle, which is notorious for having some of the worst gridlock in the U.S. Yet, Ana is able to speed through without hitting any bad traffic. Speaking of which, when did Ana become Vin Diesel? Anyway, they lose the other vehicle and engage in some highly unsatisfying car sex.
#8: Ice Cream Spooning “Fifty Shades Freed” (2018)
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Audi isn’t the only shameless product placement on display in “Fifty Shades Freed.” Ana and Christian also indulge in a fourway with . . . well, Ben & Jerry. Just when you thought their lovemaking sessions couldn’t possibly get any sillier, the couple incorporates a little ice cream to paradoxically heat things up. We guess that’s what they meant by having “a vanilla relationship.” Their sex act is beyond ridiculous as Ana covers Christian with the cold, sticky ice cream and sensual licking ensues. We’re not sure what the writers were thinking, but all they did was make us lose our appetite. As far as food sex goes, the orgy from “Sausage Party” was more stimulating than this.
#7: Christian Punishes Ana “Fifty Shades of Grey” (2015)
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Christian keeps describing himself as a tortured and sadistic soul, claiming he needs to punish his sexual partners. Intimidated but still curious, Ana asks Christian to punish her so she can see him at his worst. They retreat to the playroom, where a naked Ana consensually bends over and Christian… whips her butt six times. Um… is that it? Don’t get us wrong, Christian still comes off as abusive and his actions are unpleasant to watch, but we were expecting something a bit more shocking and graphic after so much buildup. Finally realizing that Christian might not be boyfriend material, Ana is encouraged to walk out on him… at least until the next movie.
#6: Ana Loses Her Virginity “Fifty Shades of Grey” (2015)
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One of the biggest criticisms regarding the “Fifty Shades” series is that the people involved seem to have little understanding of how BDSM works. What’s just as insulting is that they can’t even depict basic sex in a believable manner. Before consummating their relationship, Ana confesses that she’s a virgin, which both Christian and the audience have a hard time believing. For someone who’s supposed to be sexually repressed, Ana finds her bearings quite quickly as her and Christian partake in the first of many underwhelming sex scenes. We can’t speak for everyone, but typically a person’s first time is a lot more awkward than this, especially when it’s with somebody you barely know.
#5: Jack Takes Christian’s Sister Hostage “Fifty Shades Freed” (2018)
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Ana isn’t exactly known for her wise decision-making skills, but this sequence throws all common sense out the window. When the sinister Jack Hyde takes Christian’s sister hostage, he orders Ana to deliver a $5 million ransom. You’d think that Ana would call the cops, her personal security team, or even Christian at the very least. Instead, she collects the money and goes after Jack alone, putting both herself AND her unborn child in jeopardy. Luckily for Ana, Jack isn’t the mastermind he makes himself out to be. Ana actually slips a gun past him and he goes down with one shot. How can somebody be so crafty and so incompetent at the same time?
#4: Ben Wa Balls “Fifty Shades Darker” (2017)
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Another major issue audiences have with the “Fifty Shades” series is that the filmmakers can never pick a tone. Are these movies supposed to be genuinely arousing or playfully self-aware? This scene in particular is one of the most tonally confused in the entire franchise. As Ana looks for something sexy to wear, Christian offers her a set of Ben Wa balls. Ana makes it clear upfront that she’s not okay with Christian shoving the balls up her butt, although she’s perfectly fine with inserting them into her vagina. We can’t tell if this scene was intended to be sexy or humorous. All we know is that it’s weird… and not in a good way.
#3: The Playroom “Fifty Shades of Grey” (2015)
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As Ana grows closer to Christian, he decides to show her his playroom, which she assumes is where Mr. Grey keeps his Xbox. Ha, ha. Actually, this red room is where Christian stocks up on BDSM equipment. Christian tries to explain what a dominant is, getting a surprisingly understated response out of Ana. But the sex dungeon is visually interesting and we can’t help but get a bit intrigued at the thought of all the kinky sexipades bound to take place there. Unfortunately, this scene turns out to be a tease, as the playroom ultimately sees very little action and whatever action it does see comes off as restrained.
#2: The Contract “Fifty Shades of Grey” (2015)
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Before “Fifty Shades of Grey” even hit theaters, it was being hyped as the wildest erotic drama in decades. And what did we get when it finally came out? A lot of conversations about contracts! Much of the runtime is dedicated to Christian trying to convince Ana to sign a document that’ll make her his submissive. This subplot reaches the pinnacle of boring when Ana and Christian have a business meeting to read through the contract. We’re not sure what’s more absurd: that Ana can’t figure out what butt plugs are or that Christian has so much free time on his hands. Seriously, the guy’s a billionaire and we barely see him do any work. Before we get to our top pick, here are a few dishonorable mentions: Ana Tells Off Gia “Fifty Shades Freed” (2018) Submissive Sadist “Fifty Shades Darker” (2017) How to Love “Fifty Shades Darker” (2017)
#1: That Ending “Fifty Shades Freed” (2018)
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“Fifty Shades Freed” has one of the most forced happy endings of modern cinema. Although Jack kicks Ana in the stomach, her unborn baby is completely unharmed. If you think that’s ludicrous, get a load of this. Just like that, Christian decides that he’s ready to be a family man. This is a guy who described himself as a sadist and abandoned his wife after learning she was pregnant! But hey, that doesn’t mean he can’t turn over a new leaf on the spot. Right? The final moments find the couple frolicking with their young son without a care in the world. Yeah, because that’s CLEARLY what this series was working towards! Yeesh.
