Top 10 Worst Vampire Movies
They certainly do suck! Join http://www.WatchMojo.com as we count down our picks for the Top 10 Worst Vampire Movies. For this list, we've only picked feature films, all of which are terrible and all of which involve vampires.
Special thanks to our users jwiking62, Jaime Enrique Gutierrez Perez, darkservantofheaven, downhollowfication and The MegaNerd for submitting the idea on our Suggestion Tool at http://www.WatchMojo.comsuggest
#10: “Immortally Yours” [aka “Kiss of The Vampire”] (2009)
This straight-to-DVD cinematic disaster features a vampire tempted by sweet romance and the power of the Illuminati. At a staggering 111 minutes, “Immortally Yours” challenges the patience of unsuspecting viewers, especially with all the over-acting and college-level production design. While the passionate love scenes remind us of 4 AM Cinemax skin flicks, their real purpose is probably to help young fan boys see their first boob. The dialogue of “Immortally Yours” is simply catastrophic, and the gore will have you frozen in pure astonishment. Prepare yourself to be moved, as in moving on to something more worthwhile.
#9: “30 Days of Night: Dark Days” (2010)
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After the success of 2007’s “30 Days of Night,” a fresh cast was assembled for a biting sequel with a new director, and the final result ended in dark days for hopeful moviegoers. As the wife of the late Eben, Stella spreads her husband’s message of vampires all over their world, and her enemies actually “hide” by wearing sunglasses in auditoriums. While “30 Days of Night: Dark Days” re-introduced the world to Michael Dawson of “Lost,” most viewers would rather spend time on a deserted island than endure the 92 minutes of this brutal sequel.
#8: “Dracula II: Ascension” (2003)
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This American-Romanian production combined the absurd with downright offensive imagery. A sequel to “Dracula 2000,” Patrick Lussier’s film chronicled the story of a Vatican vampire hunter and his quest to end Dracula forever. See, because Dracula is actually Judas Iscariot. Father Uffizi could not have predicted the proverbial card up the vampire’s sleeve, but at least viewers received a little closure in the end…well, no, they actually didn’t. This film has it all if you’re looking for everything terrible in cinema.
#7: “Dracula: Dead and Loving It” (1995)
Even legends make a few mistakes, right? Who knows what Mel Brooks was thinking when he made this “comedy,” and maybe there’s a reason he hasn’t directed a film since. With humor perfect for your grandma or grandpa, “Dracula: Dead and Loving It” builds off classic themes of the genre with painfully awkward performances, including one by Brooks himself as Van Helsing. Outdated and dead on arrival, this flick has no tick.
#6: “Vampire Academy” (2014)
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As the daughter of “Back to the Future” actress Lea Thompson, Zoey Deutch was blessed with beauty and brains, but this Young Adult film had viewers dreaming of a time machine headed for a better movie. As a half-human, half-vampire, Rose Hathaway trains to protect her own, but the style and tone of “Vampire Academy” failed to connect with younger viewers – or the entire world for that matter. It’s horrible in the most hilarious of ways; a film with potential but unsure how to use it.
#5: “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” (2012)
As proof that Hollywood will do absolutely anything to make a few bucks, this adaptation of Seth Grahame-Smith’s novel effectively shook the grave of a U.S. President. “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” portrayed a world in which Honest Abe had more problems than we could imagine and ultimately confused the minds of young history students. A stand-up comic starred in the title role for crying out loud, and we all know that Lincoln most likely would have preferred Brad Pitt. The vampire hunter rode the railroad in Timur Bekmambetov’s film, but it was the film itself that was a symbolic train wreck.
#4: “Twilight” franchise (2008-12)
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Love them or hate them, every single of one of the “Twilight” films is factually horrible. This information may disturb millions of loyal fans, but if you’re moved to tears by the story of Bella, Edward and Jacob, then you probably need to watch more films. Sure, the vampire stories made a gazillion dollars, but the relentless assault on innocent moviegoers caused unwanted stress and even a fear of cinema for some. We need vampire movies that inspire, not films that take over the subconscious minds of our world’s children.
#3: “Vampires Suck” (2010)
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Speaking of cultural influence, a group of actual human beings once decided that this film had to be made. Riding on the tail of the “Twilight” phenomenon, “Vampires Suck” made fun of brutal genre films while simultaneously adding to the collection. With lame pop cultural references and mediocre performances, this movie quadrupled its budget in profits, which speaks volumes about the current state of cinema. Eighty-two minutes too long, “Vampires Suck” is a modern meta disaster.
#2: “Vampire in Brooklyn” (1995)
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It’s hard to tell a celebrity “NO,” am I right? Fresh off the heels of “Beverly Hills Cop 3,” Eddie Murphy decided it was a good career choice to star in Wes Craven’s tale of Big Apple bloodsuckers. Edited by the director of our #8 entry, “Vampire in Brooklyn” was actually written by Eddie Murphy and allowed him to show off his comedic versatility with several roles. In perhaps the biggest slam from critics, Roger Ebert once noted “the movie is unpleasant to look at… and my overall memory of it is people screaming in the shadows.” Vampirefail. Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions. - “Dracula 2000” (2000) - “Queen of the Damned” (2002) - “Dark Shadows” (2012) - “Cirque du Freak: The Vampire’s Assistant” (2009) - “Vampires: Los Muertos” (2002)
#1: “BloodRayne” (2005)
Directed by Uwe Boll? Enough said. Oh, you need more? Well, the legendary Ben Kingsley said it best: “Prepare to witness the beginning of a new era.” As the vampire film destined to become the worst of its kind, “BloodRayne” changed the video game it was based on and introduced a new kind of awful. Kristanna Loken starred in this slasher video game adaptation as a mixed breed vampire out for vengeance. With a rather talented ensemble that agreed to be dressed in ridiculous garb, one has to question this film’s very existence and whether the entire production was part of some conspiracy. We need answers, Meat Loaf. Do you agree with our list? What is your favorite worst vampire movie? For more mind-blowing Top 10s published daily, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.
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