Every Mass Effect Romance Option Ranked

Don’t pretend to be shocked that Jacob is bottom tier. Whatever potential this man had was squandered almost instantaneously. Being overshadowed by nearly every other character in terms of intrigue and likeability would be one thing, but then…he said the line. It was then that poor Mr Taylor went from a generic party member all the way to meme material. If that had been it, maybe Jacob could have been remembered more fondly. But then he nuked any chance of redemption in Mass Effect 3. We can only imagine how furious the few remaining Jacob fans were when they found out he had canonically cheated on Shepard and was having a baby with another woman.

Barely qualifying as a romance but a romance nonetheless, Kelly certainly got the short end of the stick. As a yeoman, she was a great wing woman who frequently informed Shepard on the mental, and often flirtatious state, of other companions aboard the Normandy. Playing your cards right could even bump the relationship beyond professional courtesy all the way to…getting a private dance in Shepard’s quarters. Spicy hip gyrations aside, pursuing Kelly as a romance becomes almost secondary to keeping her alive! As the events of Mass Effect 2 and 3 ensure, unless you make the right decisions at the right times, Kelly will end up a casualty of war. There was a lot of untapped potential here, but sadly didn’t measure up to much.

Speaking of untapped potential. Oh Steve. Good ol’ reliable Steve. Serving as the Normandy crew’s secondary pilot, he’s one of the two new romances brought in at the tail end of the trilogy, as well as Mass Effect’s first same-sex romance exclusive to Male Shepard. The man is a teddy bear with a lot of love to give, but torn due to how he lost his husband to the Reapers and unsure about starting up something new. It’s a very touching and understandably complex dynamic that unfortunately doesn’t get the development it deserved.

Ah yes, the blandest man in the galaxy. Mass Effect’s very own punching bag until Jacob came along. At least he used to be. Much like his female counterpart, Mass Effect 3 was where Kaiden was given time to shine. Finding inner peace with himself, wanting to rekindle a relationship with Shepard for all the right reasons, being an active supporter and source of comfort instead of being the jerk he was back in his Mass Effect 2 cameo – there’s a lot of good to be found here! Don’t get us wrong, he doesn’t have nearly the same amount of intrigue and pazazz compared to his non-human love rivals, but at the very least we can say by the trilogy’s end Kaisen is way more than the whitest piece of bread in Earthspace.

Alongside Kaiden, Ashley was one of the primary love interests Shepard could woo back in the olden days of the first game. And much like Kaiden, she left a bit of a sour impression given that she was very much anti-alien, and not afraid to be vocal about it. She wasn’t wholly irredeemable, but it was off putting. Thankfully Mass Effect 3 gave her plenty of time to mellow out and become a much more likable character, one who couldn’t only match Shepard as a soldier, but also as a partner. For those that stuck it out with Ashley, her final outing painted her in a hugely positive light. Not to mention a saucier one given the intensity of their bedroom scenes!

You’d better keep those wandering eyes in check because this Ice Queen takes no prisoners. Essential in bringing Shepard back from the dead following their run-in with the Collectors, Miranda initially comes off as hostile, seeing Shepard as merely a tool to help Cerberus in their efforts to save humanity. Thankfully, given time, effort and a willingness to help her in her darkest moment, Miranda starts to thaw, open up and show off just how sultry the so-called “perfect woman” can be. She is much more than just eye candy, but she certainly doesn’t hesitate to use what she’s got. If only she had been given a bigger role in the third game.

Much like Cortez, Traynor only squeaked onto the Normandy for the final chapter of Mass Effect’s story. So, why is she so much higher? Because she’s the bundle of sunshine we didn’t know we needed. As a human being, a confidant and comedic relief, Traynor is awesome, instantly endearing herself with her adorkable traits. She’s also one of the best romances for FemShep. A lover of showers, witty banter, and dreams of a white picket fence future together made it all too easy to fall for her. The fact she accomplished all of this with such limited exposure is a testament to how great a character she is.

This one hurts. As an assassin with deep spiritual ties and a lifetime of regrets, Thane was already a badass on arrival, so was it any wonder many a FemShep fell for his charms? Unfortunately, this romance comes with one hell of a catch – Thane is essentially a dead man walking. And no matter what you do, by the time it comes to Mass Effect 3, he will pass on, leaving Shepard and the player heartbroken and alone. So, is it worth it? A brief yet beautiful bond with such an interesting character, only to lose him one game later with no chance of bringing him back? The choice is yours.

The psychotic biotic is vulgar, violent, and has a terrifying kill count to her name. And we love her for it. Experimented on her entire life, Jack is riddled with trauma, but as a result has become one of the strongest biotics out there, making her an invaluable member of the crew. While initially treating the idea of intimacy and romance as contemptible, don’t let that deter you. She’s been waiting for someone who she feels she can finally lower her guard for. Ironically, playing paragon and being patient with Jack leads to one of Mass Effect’s most touching romances. So, make sure to keep it in your pants until she’s willing to take that all important next step, or you will cause her to close her heart forever.

To the fellas, Garrus is the ultimate space bro, your ride or die companion who will always have your back even when the galaxy is on the edge of oblivion. However, when it comes to the FemSheps out there – prepare yourselves for a romance that is truly special, because Archangel over here is the full package. Going from a frustrated C-Sec officer to a vengeful vigilante, Garrus’ change in world-view allowed him escape the friend zone in style, double downing on it in Mass Effect 3 as he continually proved himself to be the greatest boyfriend in the universe. He’s got reach, he’s got flexibility, he’s got that voice, he can dance, and he will calibrate his way into your hearts. Garrus is the man.

You know you’ve fallen hard when you’re willing to wage war to win back a home world for someone. But as any man of culture will tell you, Tali is totally worth it. Starting off as an eager young woman on her pilgrimage, by the time she returned in Mass Effect 2, she had proved herself a talented leader, though still burdened by the responsibility placed on her. Alongside the dynamics of Quarian politics and the civil war with the Geth, the biggest challenge facing a romance with Tali is her race’s dependence on environ-suits, as any exposure or intimate contact could potentially prove fatal. Navigating this, supporting her through her rise in station, and a million other adorable encounters cemented Tali as one of the most beautiful souls in the galaxy. Kee-lah selai.

In Mass Effect 1, Liara was an enthusiastic scientist that was easy on the eyes and easy to fall for. In Mass Effect 2’s acclaimed DLC, she went on the darkest of arcs to become the new Shadow Broker, reuniting her passion for Shepard along the way. And finally in Mass Effect 3, Liara’s whole world comes tumbling down as the Reaper invasion forces her to accept some brutal truths about all she knew, and her place in it, all the while standing alongside Shepard every step of the way. Liara is undoubtedly the most “complete” romance one can experience across the trilogy, where her triumphs and follies are seamlessly woven into her intimate scenes with Shepard. It’s a journey you won’t regret taking.