Top 10 Awkward Music Lyrics

The title alone is enough to tell you just how awkward this song is. From the avant-garde rock band King Missile, the lyrics to “Detachable Penis” tell the tale of a hung-over man who wakes up to find his removable dong is missing again. His morning consists of searching his apartment, making phone calls, and ultimately buying his misplaced Johnson back from a street vendor. John S. Hall’s delivery only makes “Detachable Penis” more bizarre, almost giving it the essence of a standup routine meets a haunting acid trip.

“Get in the Ring” is Guns N’ Roses’ way of saying, “F#&% you,” to music journalists, magazine bigwigs, and any punks in the press. Essentially challenging all these “bitches” to a fight, the heavy metal band spouts one obscene word after another. “Get in the Ring” is the perfect song to play if you’re a pissed off rocker looking to rock out alone in your room. If the song were played at a party, though, the foul-mouthed lyrics and negative vibes would definitely turn a lot of people off, especially if that party was filled with the people name dropped in the song.

When Nicki Minaj released the song “Stupid Hoe” we thought she had reached the summit of awkward lyrics. With “Anaconda,” however, Minaj proved that she hadn’t even reached the halfway point of that awkward mountain. Like many of Minaj’s songs, the lyrics to “Anaconda” fly by so fast it’s difficult to catch them all at first. But when you really listen to the words, the lyrics allegedly tell a raunchy narrative about a lust for drugs, a lust for an “anaconda”, and a lust for even bigger buns. Oh my gosh.

In 50 Cent’s candy shop, a candy man and a ladies man are one in the same. Although the wholesome title suggests otherwise, “Candy Shop” is about devouring a different kind of dark chocolate. The song tries to be sexy and alluring, but it’s hard to take “Candy Shop” too seriously with lyrics like “I’ll let you lick the lollipop” and “I melt in your mouth girl, not in your hands.” In short, it’s probably not the best idea to mix food and sex together.

Hopefully you learned about the birds and the bees from your family or school and not from this hip-hop number. “Let’s Talk About Sex” touches base on the censorship of sex in media and how there’s no shame in exploring these sexual urges. When it came out in the early '90s, this hit single from Salt-N-Pepa might have been considered jarring and daring in its subject matter. Nowadays, though, its enjoyably corny lyrics seem like something out of an after school special promoting safe sex.

Have you ever you used the phrase, “I want to sex you up,” to pick up a foxy lady? Did it work? We didn’t think so. That’s one of the reasons why this song from Color Me Badd comes off as so ungainly. The lyrics aren’t so much seductive as they are hilarious, expressing the R&B group’s desire to make sweet lovin’ all night long. Imagine a guy who thinks he’s a swinging player, but also goes home alone. Nevertheless, it’s admittedly a hard song not to shamefully dance to.

The sound of DMX screaming is the first sign that “Bring Your Whole Crew” is going to be an uncomfortable experience. DMX has had a handful of run-ins with the law over the years. This hardcore hip-hop song doesn’t exactly help the rapper’s image as he sings about some of the most heinous crimes imaginable, from first-degree murder to defiling a corpse. The constant use of the N word doesn’t make “Bring Your Whole Crew” any easier to listen to. Then again, it’s not aiming to be a feel-good tune.

It isn’t nice to boast about all the people you’ve had intercourse with. Lil’ Kim gives the listener a rundown of her many male lovers, such as a white dude named John, Dan from Down South, and an Italian named Tony. It would appear they all found out how many licks it takes to get to the center of the human Tootsie Pop that is Lil’ Kim. As for the rest of the world, we’ll likely never know. Too much information Lil’.

“Closer” by Nine Inch Nails is basically a laundry list of different ways to tell a person that you want to have sex with them, none of which are even PG-13 rated. At least that’s what the song sounds like with the lyrics “I want to f@#$ you like an animal” and “I want to feel you from the inside.” Singer/Songwriter Trent Reznor actually intended “Closer” to promote a message about obsession and self-loathing. The meaning clearly got lost in the misleading lyrics, though.

Before we sing along with our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:
- “#1 Crush” (1996)
Garbage
- “Red Light Special” (1995)
TLC
- “Justify My Love” (1990)
Madonna
- “Fitzpleasure” (2012)
alt-J
- “I Touch Myself” (1990)
Divinyls

The topic of rape is enough to make any person uneasy. After all, it’s one of the most despicable acts any human being can commit. According to Kurt Cobain, Nirvana’s “Rape Me” is supposed to be an anti-rape ballad. No matter how you interpret the song, though, “Rape Me” are two words nobody wants to hear over and over again. The lyrics appropriately leave the listener with the impression that they themselves have been violated, easily making “Rape Me” some of the most awkward music lyrics of all time.

Do you agree with our list? What do you think are the most awkward song lyrics of all time? For more awkward top 10s published every day, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.