Top 10 Dumbest Decisions on South Park
#10: Drove Britney Spears to the Edge
"Britney's New Look" Most people will agree that the paparazzi have often gone too far for the sake of getting the “great” shot. During her peak, Britney Spears seemed to be inundated with attention from every form of press across the globe. It’s therefore no surprise that “South Park” took a shot in a similar direction but with a twist. The boys see how terrible the adults are treating her and do their best to keep her safe. This ultimately falls short as she succumbs to the needs of the town for their next harvest. It’s all for the sake of comedy, but the townsfolk could have certainly made a better choice about how to harvest their crops.
#9: Buying a Blockbuster
"A Nightmare on FaceTime" How do we count the ways in which Randy Marsh has made terrible decisions on this show? Since this isn’t our first entry that will feature Stan’s dad, let’s talk about his worst business decision. In an era where streaming is king, and the movie rental businesses have all but dried up, somehow Randy thinks buying a Blockbuster Video store is a good idea. Sure, many rural areas still have limited internet access for downloading movies. But when was the last time anyone you know rented a DVD or VHS tape from anywhere? Maybe Kenny’s family might partake but even they’ve had their whole neighborhood renovated.
#8: Hiring Actors to Scare Kids From Drugs
"My Future Self 'n' Me" As a parent, there are plenty of difficult conversations you need to have with your kids. The use of illicit drugs surely ranks near the top of that list. For the adults in town, instead of having a frank discussion about this risque topic, they try to use fear. Using services from “Motivation Corp,” they hire actors to portray their kids as grown-ups who have ruined their lives due to excessive substance use. Of course, the plan backfires in a spectacular fashion, forcing them to just talk to their kids. They could have avoided a lot of hassle and deceit had they just been honest in the first place.
#7: Randy Unleashing COVID-19
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"The Pandemic Special" Oh, Randy. Will you ever learn? “South Park” may be a fictitious town, but they too were affected by the COVID-19 pandemic. However, one major distinction between the real world and theirs is the origin of the disease. We learn here that after Randy and Mickey Mouse partied a bit too hard in China, they engaged in highly inappropriate behavior that may have led to the outbreak of the virus. It’s further proof that Randy tends to make rash decisions without any realization of the possible consequences. He is struck with a sense of massive guilt, but that certainly does not undo the damage he and Mickey may have caused.
#6: Ignoring ManBearPig
"Time to Get Cereal" On a list about dumb decisions, we’d be remiss to not include the entire ManBearPig fiasco. After Al Gore warned everyone in town that MBP was a real threat, everyone chose to ignore him, thinking he was crazy. Yet, even when ManBearPig returns years later and begins slaughtering people in town, there are still those who insist he’s not real and prefer to be oblivious to his attacks. A clear allegory to climate change, we will give credit to the writers for backpedaling a bit on their original stance and having the kids at least realize how serious the situation is. Sadly, the town’s naivety about the seriousness of MBP’s presence mirrors the views of many people in the world today.
#5: Forcing Conversion Therapy
"Cartman Sucks" After having been conned by Cartman into taking a compromising photograph, Butters’ parents send him to a conversion camp for being “bi-curious.” The episode uses the term “confused” to not only describe the parents' opinion of Butters’ sexuality, but his literal confusion of not understanding why he’s at camp. We’re given a window into a world of complete intolerance and ignorance to sexual orientation and identity, all at the hands of parents who choose to ignore what their children are saying. Butters has it right when he tells them that they are indeed the ones who are confused.
#4: Killing Jesus
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"Fantastic Easter Special" Easter is known for two things: the resurrection of Jesus and a bunny who loves eggs. “Fantastic Easter Special” does a hilarious job of trying to marry these two concepts together. And as funny as the outcome is, we’re presented with one of the most dumbfounding decisions ever. Given the nature of the holiday being the rebirth of the Christian savior, it makes very little sense for Bill Donohue’s character to insist that they murder Jesus to protect the church. Heck, even the Pope disagrees with this, but both him and Jesus are punished for the acts against the Catholic Church.
#3: Giving Themselves Cancer
"Medicinal Fried Chicken" Okay, so given how laws have changed around legal marijuana use, this one is a bit dated, but it still shows a complete lack of judgment. At a time when you needed a prescription to obtain the drug from a dispensary, Randy, along with many other men in town, went to extreme lengths to contract cancer, just for the sake of being able to legally get high. It shouldn’t need to be said, but purposely giving yourself cancer is never a good idea, regardless of how much weed you want to smoke. The entire “hippity-hop” sequence is certainly hilarious to watch, but definitely not something you’d want to have happen to your body on purpose.
#2: Blaming Canada for Kids’ Foul Language
"South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut" (1999) One thing “South Park” has shown us repeatedly is how terrible the parents in this town really are. Time and time again they choose to ignore what their children are saying and head off on some crusade all in the name of saving their kids. The “South Park” movie took this to the nth degree with Kyle’s mom Sheila starting a war with Canada over the use of foul language. She spends the entire movie blaming Canada for corrupting the country’s children, while never once taking a moment to consider the magnitude of her actions. Like a horse with blinders on, she’s on a mission and doesn’t care who gets in the way, even her own kids. Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions. Not Reading the Fine Print, “HumancentiPad” You Never Know What Might Be Hiding in That Long Agreement We Never Read Sending Their Children Away, “Child Abduction Is Not Funny” At What Point Did the Parents Think Their Children Were Better Off Without Them? Abandoning Kids to Protest, “Death” This Was the First Sign of Sheila’s Overbearing Attitude
#1: Keeping Cartman as a Friend
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Various We’ve discussed a lot of terrible choices the town has made, but by far and large, this one seems to be even more ridiculous. As funny and entertaining as he can be, there’s no logical reason why anyone in this town should be this tolerant of Eric Cartman. Just his antisemitic and racist attitude alone should be enough for most people to avoid him like the plague. The list of terrible and selfish things this kid has done is a mile long, yet despite all of that, he still maintains strong friendships with many of his classmates. At some point, you’d think they’d had enough and just walked away, but here we are, 26 seasons in, and Cartman is still going strong. In your opinion, what’s the stupidest thing the South Park gang has ever done? Let us know in the comments!
