Top 10 DUMBEST Things Chris Griffin Has Ever Done

“Brian the Closer”

“Family Guy” is known for its cutaway humor, and usually the characters are able to set up the humorous scenes for us perfectly. When Chris is having dinner with his family, he establishes a cutaway in which he is supposedly having an even crazier dinner than this one. What we see instead is a boring, unfunny cutaway, and Chris failing at something that literally every character on the show does seamlessly. This prompts Chris’ parents to break the fourth wall and scold their son for his shortcomings. We love hilarious flashback scenes and characters acknowledging their own show, but seeing poor Chris fall flat due to his own stupidity never fails to tickle our funny bone.

“Cop and a Half-Wit”

When Stewie is misidentified as a girl, he decides to join the football team to prove his masculinity, despite his small stature and lack of athletic ability. It goes about as well as you’d think, and he ends up with a nasty concussion. With mismatched pupils and hallucinations of ringing phones, it’s pretty clear that Stewie is in bad shape. Brian and Chris try to decide how to best handle the situation without getting themselves in trouble, and Chris chooses just about the worst solution. He hits Stewie to try and de-concuss him, and we can’t help but wonder how many times Chris might have been hit in the head if he thinks that’s the way to fix a concussion.

“Fore, Father”

The personalities of the main characters on the show have ebbed and flowed throughout the years, but the creators let us know early on what Chris was all about. This is evident late in Season Two, when Chris and Peter, along with Peter’s friends and their sons, go on a camping trip. While keeping the food secure from wild animals may be a relatively simple task, Chris fails at it in tremendous fashion. Not only does he let raccoons eat their provisions, he makes a flipbook of them doing it. His blockheadedness shines as he is clearly proud of his artistic creation, while everyone else feels the exact opposite about the fact that they’re now going to go hungry.

“When You Wish Upon a Weinstein”

Chris lacks a basic understanding of the world, and in this scene, we’re shown that he doesn’t understand that inanimate objects are… well, inanimate. Peter easily tricks Chris into thinking a lamp hit him in the back of the head to avoid taking the blame. Despite the fact that his father’s obviously the culprit, Chris is furious with the lamp and hits it right back. Maybe he needs to work on his smarts as well as his anger skills, but we can’t help but laugh at his idiocy in this moment.

“Boopa-Dee Bappa-Dee”

It’s clear from this episode that none of the Griffins are the sharpest tacks. When they decide to move to Italy, they initially love it so much that Peter decides to burn their passports and stay forever. But, their finances have different plans, and they eventually have to go home. In an attempt to prove that they’re really American, they’re tasked with singing the Star-Spangled Banner. All of the Griffins are able to do it, except for the eldest brother. Instead, we see him belting out Whitney Houston’s classic version of “I Will Always Love You,” and while Chris is technically wrong, singing this song as an anthem feels so right.

“Dearly Deported”

When Chris meets Isabella at a waterpark after sticking her bikini top in his shorts, the unlikely duo actually hit it off. When the two go out for spaghetti “Lady and the Tramp” style, he tries to impress her by speaking her language, which he thinks is Korean, but she reveals she is actually Mexican. She’s later deported back there, so it really is a shame he learned the wrong language as he eventually has to go to Mexico to find her. But, we’re impressed that he was able to snag a girl as great as Isabella and that he even learns a bit of Korean, so we also need to give him credit where it’s due.

“Cop and a Half-Wit”

Chris clearly doesn’t understand the very basics of life, so when he takes Stewie to the hospital after he single-handedly worsens his concussion, he misunderstands what a nursery is. Upon seeing the room full of infants, his lack of intelligence is glaringly obvious when he assumes that this means the babies are up for grabs. He shows off his new find to Stewie and Brian, and we can’t help but laugh at the excitement he has for this discovery. It’s a good thing Brian redirects him and saves Chris from himself, and the poor crying baby for that matter, because that could have been a pretty bad look if he would’ve gotten caught.

“Peter, Chris & Brian”

It’s no secret that Chris comes by his dimwittedness honestly, as Peter proves that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. When Peter discovers old videos of himself as a teen, he realizes that he and Chris are eerily similar, and he wants to stop his son from going down the same path. Peter proclaims that he wants Chris to be a success, a word that Chris is unfamiliar with, so he runs to the kitchen to look it up. The only problem is, both he and his father think that the toaster is the computer, and we’re scared to know what happens to the actual computer when the Griffin men are wanting some toast.

“Stewie, Chris & Brian’s Excellent Adventure”

Stewie and Brian have good intentions when they try to help Chris study for his history test. But, when Chris thinks that “we have nothing to fear but fear itself” was spoken by Scooby-Doo, they know they need to step it up a notch. Stewie uses his time machine to show Chris various points throughout history, but that’s still not sticking with him. Chris ends up running away and boarding the Titanic, oblivious to the ship’s fate. Eventually, Stewie and Brian save him and actually manage to alter the future just enough that Chris ends up getting out of his test anyway. But, this entire episode proved that it’s easier to accept Chris’ weaknesses than try to help.

“The Most Interesting Man in the World”

It’s pretty clear that Chris doesn’t have a grasp on a lot of things. But, we thought that he at least knew his own name. When Peter starts taking business trips, he becomes more refined and worldly, which causes him to start using language that we’re not used to hearing from him. He even replaces the TV in the living room with a bookcase, which leads to another instance of Chris being confused beyond belief. But, the most shockingly stupid moment of all came when Peter returns home, and Chris asked him how it went, which led to Chris acknowledging that he didn’t know the word “Chris.” We, along with Stewie, are still shocked, to say the least.