Top 10 Least Scary Horror Movies

The most frightening thing about this movie is that filmmakers had been milking this franchise for over 20 years when this edition came out. By the tenth installment of this cash grab series, Jason Voorhees has proven himself immortal, what with not being dead after literally being sent to Hell in the previous film. This time, he’s in space and he’s still mad. And, we’ve gotta say, his murderous wrath seems really misguided this time, especially since it’s over 400 years in the future.

Throw Jennifer Lopez, Angelina Jolie’s estranged father, and a bloodthirsty, mammoth snake into the Amazon together and you’ve got a recipe for either disaster or triumph. Unfortunately, while we were supposed to be deathly afraid of the football field-sized reptile, we ended up rooting for it to just eat everyone so the movie would end. It’s not that we didn’t want to be scared of it, we just…weren’t. And that probably had something to do the stiff acting and unintentional laughs it prompts.

The only things haunting us in this film were its abuse of CGI, its ridiculous horror clichés and Owen Wilson’s persistent squinty pouty face. A remake of the 1963 original, the film follows a trio of insomniacs who sign up for what is supposed to be a sleep study. Unbeknownst to them, they’ve actually signed up to subject themselves to a bunch of ridiculously mundane ghost antics. A couple of people may’ve died, but it still seems like these ghosts and screenwriters phoned it in.

The creepy factor of this incredibly popular videogame franchise didn’t play as well on the silver screen as it did on the console. In fact, this movie seemed less like an interpretation of the game and more like an excuse for us to watch Milla Jovovich do stuff. Which isn’t all bad, but it’s also not scary. Also, it’s got a strong anti-corporate message, little character development and meh dialogue. While the gnarly zombie dogs did make a badass appearance, it was really bittersweet. The movie should’ve just been about them.

Stephen King is known for his dark take on pretty run of the mill things like cars and hotels, so of course dieting seems like it would be up for grabs. After a portly attorney gets away with a hit and run, he falls victim to a Romani curse and begins losing weight like deflating balloon. If none of this sounds particularly scary, you’d be correct in that assessment. It didn’t even try. We’re thinking King originally released this one under a pseudonym for a reason.

It should’ve been called “One Missed Movie” for how hard moviegoers should’ve skipped this film. It’s an American remake of a Japanese original, and aside from lacking charm; it manages to be a horror film with none of the horror. There’s a ghost that kills people after using up their anytime minutes to play them a recording of their deaths in the future. Candy is also involved. But scariness was skipped entirely. Not surprisingly, this was the worst reviewed film of 2008.

By the fourth installment of this killer fish series, the shark has graduated from attacking innocent swimmers to stalking and premeditated murder. Apparently, the shark has been plotting its revenge against the family of the sheriff that wronged it all those years ago. After killing one son, it follows the rest of the family to the Bahamas where it forms a psychic connection with the sheriff’s widow. Actually, come to think of it, this movie is scary… Scary bad.

This movie is a bunch of things: it’s a great advertisement for bear costumes, it gets kids interested in beekeeping, and it’s a paycheck for Nicholas Cage. It’s also absurdly and unintentionally hilarious. But scary? No. Not even close. The most frightening element of this film is its convoluted plot line, and we’re being generous: it involves kidnapping, neo-pagan ritual sacrifice and, like, a parade or something. And, for all of Nic Cage’s screaming, there isn’t even the slightest whiff of honey-scented terror.

It’s really difficult to manic-pixie-dream-girl your way through a horror movie, but where there’s a will, Zooey Deschanel will find a way. In this M. Night Shyamalan clunker, Deschanel co-stars with Mark Wahlberg, as they struggle to figure out why everyone is dropping dead around them. And it’s probably the least terrifying excuse for a horror movie ever, and the most terrifying weak reason for mass suicide you’d ever hear. Short answer: the plants did it.

Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable – or in this case dishonorable – mentions:
- “FeardotCom” (2002)
- “Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2” (1987)
- “Troll 2” (1990)
- “Alone in the Dark” (2005)
- “Bride of Chucky” (1998)

Back before Jennifer Aniston landed a role on a quintessentially ‘90s sitcom, she was battling a vicious leprechaun looking for his lucky cha…..er….pot of gold. We’re hoping the filmmakers were going for over-the-top ridiculous instead of “bone chilling” scares, because watching a little person dressed as a leprechaun chasing a car while riding a tricycle isn’t exactly scary. In fact, the whole movie is like the antithesis of scary, and the trend only continues in the sequels as the leprechaun moves his shenanigans to the hood.

Do you agree with our list? What do you think is the least scary horror movie? For more entertaining Top 10s published every day, be sure to subscribe to WatchMojo.com.