Top 10 Ridiculous Looking Products Ever Made

Is this thing for real? It looks like something from a “Saturday Night Live” sketch. The Ostrich Pillow is this large, bulky…thing that you just sort of wrap around your head so you can take a nap. According to their website, “This cocoon-like pillow blocks out light and noise, creating an immersive experience where anyone can focus only on themselves.” Yeah, it also looks like you’re recovering in the hospital after a major car accident. This thing is utterly ridiculous. Just imagine whipping it out on a plane. You’d be more entertaining to watch than the in-flight movies.

#9: Roller Coaster Straws

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We know what you’re thinking - how can I make drinking as time-consuming and complex as possible? Well, we’ve got you covered! It’s the Emporium Build Your Own Roller Coaster Straws kit! Said kit comes equipped with a bunch of straws and connector pieces, so you can go wild designing your own crazy straw. This is the sort of novelty item that a child tries once before throwing it into the junk drawer and never touching again. Plus, it looks like something out of a mad scientist’s laboratory. It’s what Doc Brown would use if he focused on the mechanics of straw drinking instead of time travel.

The umbrella hat has been around for over one hundred years. No, seriously, the first patent was taken out in December of 1880, and its inventor was considered a kooky eccentric by the locals. The umbrella hat is exactly what it sounds like - an umbrella attached to a headband that you wear as a hat. Maybe it’s actually functional, but no one really cares, because no one wants to be seen in public wearing one. The umbrella hat started as a genuine article meant to shield rain and sun from the eyes, but now it’s mostly seen as a funny novelty. And yes, before you ask, there’s a version for dogs, too!

There really is an item for everything. Before this wonderful invention, people had to shred slabs of meat using cumbersome things like knives and forks. But not anymore! Not with the meat claws. These are stainless steel blades attached to a small finger handle, allowing you to shred pork like you’re some kind of budget Wolverine. Again, like the umbrella hat, this is an item that could prove surprisingly useful. But again, it looks so ridiculous that we don’t even want to try. Maybe keep it for special occasions, like an “X-Men”-themed barbecue. Do people have those?

Now why would you ruin your beautiful lawn with something like this? The Selfie Sisters garden gnomes are two rather large-busted gnomes taking a selfie and making the duck face at the camera. Below their feet is the slogan SB [00:35 “But first, let me take a selfie!’] This thing probably would have been gold in, say, 2014, when that Chainsmokers song was really big. But we feel like the world has moved on from the duck face era. These gnomes would make a funny gift for a friend, but we seriously doubt that friend will be proudly displaying them for the passing dog walkers to admire.

Metal detecting on the beach is a nice pastime for some. It allows them to get outside, enjoy the sea air, and maybe find a quarter from 1982 or whatever. And as odd as it is bringing an entire metal detector onto the beach, it’s far more preferable than the metal detecting sandals. The sandals themselves look alright, but everything falls apart with the battery pack. The pack plugs into the right sandal, so there’s always a cord just sort of dangling off your leg. Furthermore, the battery pack straps onto the user’s calf, so it looks like you’ve just escaped from house arrest to do a little metal detecting.

A lot of weird things have been made for our hands. For example, the Handerpants, which is what you’d get if you cut up a pair of white briefs and made gloves out of it. Why you’d want to don underwear on your hands, we don’t know. And then there are the finger covers, which are tiny pieces of silicone you strap to your fingertips while eating messy snacks. Not only are they quite ugly and bulky, but they ruin the best part of snacking! Who doesn’t love licking all that clumpy, cheesy, artery-clogging dust off their fingers?

If the guy metal detecting on the beach with his sandals doesn’t turn heads, then this certainly will. The Anatomy Swimsuit is a garment made of polyester and spandex that quite graphically displays all the internal organs in their anatomically correct positions. You’ve got veins, lungs, the liver, and even intestines coiled around the gut. You know, things that beachgoers love to gaze at while soaking up the sun. Now, according to its Amazon page, this swimsuit is meant for Halloween. However, nothing is stopping someone from wearing it to the beach on a hot July afternoon. We recommend you don’t, though, lest you scare a child and get the cops called on you.

There’s actually quite a cute story behind the goldfish walker, so we can’t rag on it too much. It was designed by an English metal worker named Mick Madden, who wished to take his pet goldfish Malcolm and Ethel out for a stroll. But many questions arise. Mainly - why? Of all the animals that love going for walks, goldfish are probably near the bottom of that list. Furthermore, this thing looks cumbersome as heck, with the aquarium itself sitting on a pair of rings and bordered by giant metal poles. It’s a wonder this didn’t catch on with the public…

#1: The Dyson Zone

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Now, Dyson has made some killer products in their day. But they’ve also made some stinkers, and…well, let us present to you the Dyson Zone. These are headphones that come with an…air purifier? Yes, an air purifier is attached to the two ears and wraps around the wearer’s mouth, and it allegedly filters out city pollution and irritants. We’re loving the environmental message, and the engineering is impressive, but come on. This thing looks like something that was designed for Bane. In fact, everyone found this so laughable that Dyson had to publicly state that it was not an April Fools prank. You know you’ve made a great product when you have to say something like that…