Top 10 RuPaul's Drag Race Queens with the Funniest Confessionals
#10: Ginger Minj
This self-proclaimed “overweight, asthmatic, chain smoking cross-dresser” was always a real Southern belle: graceful, charming, and slightly salty. A member of season 7’s “Bitter Old Lady Brigade”, Ginger’s distaste for the younger queens and her affinity for attractive guest celebrities made for absolutely enter-taint-ing moments. Although her run on All Stars 2 ended rather quickly, she returned for the sixth season more polished, even funnier, and with a memorable confessional look. The “Glamour Toad” was known to go in on some of her fellow queens, but she didn’t mean any harm - except when she did!
#9: Vanessa Vanjie Mateo
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This queen earned viral fame thanks to an insanely memorable exit quote during her first Drag Race appearance. It was so spectacular, in fact, that she was brought back to compete the following season. And she quickly became a narrator of sorts, providing commentary that was every bit as fun as it was incoherent. Whenever Vanjie’s face appeared, we knew we were going to get the best version of events, plenty of laughs, and an iconic quote or two! Given her amazingly bubbly personality, we don’t think it’d be out of place to have her become the show’s resident commentator!
#8: Willam
Back in the day, the confessionals were filmed in different outfits - and queens were more vitriolic than funny in their comments. Willam was able to find a perfectly unhealthy balance between the two. Her deadpan humor and sharp wit always rose to the surface, as she read everyone to filth with the straightest face you’d ever seen. The multi-talented drag queen, actor, and singer-songwriter wasn’t afraid to list her entire resume and hype herself up. This level of narcissism didn’t necessarily win her a lot of fans at first. But in the years since, she’s earned a strong cult following.
#7: Shangela
If you somehow haven’t watched “Game of Thrones” yet, there’s no need to panic. Shangela’s more than got you covered. This small town country queen with big dreams outdid herself when she returned for All Stars 3, and gave us her most memorable confessionals yet. The way she compared the werkroom dynamics to those of the Seven Kingdoms was spot-on, hilarious, and solidified her narrator status. Sadly, the “Daenerys Targaryen of Drag” got the short end of the stick during the season finale. But in RuPaul’s Funniest Confessionals Race, she’ll always be a winner, baby.
#6: Heidi N Closet
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Is she the trade of the season? Somehow we’re still not sure. This sweetheart charmed her way into fans’ hearts with her endearing personality, which was front and center whenever she was one-on-one with the camera. You know how RuPaul always says that the audience is most entertained when they can tell a queen is having fun? Well, that was definitely the case for Heidi N Closet. Her complete cluelessness and brilliantly funny expressions cracked her up, which in turn elevated the comedy for all of us. With a very unique perspective and a laundry list of hilarious catchphrases, Heidi’s narration heavily contributed to making season 12 phenomenal.
#5: Alyssa Edwards
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This drop-dead gorgeous dancing queen quickly made an impression. It didn’t take long for everyone to fall for the Texan’s signature tongue pop, undying love for her own reflection, and Rolodex of quotable lines. Plus, her commentary was unmatched. The way she talked about her feuds with season 5’s Coco Montrese and All Star 2’s Phi Phi O’Hara was always unintentionally hilarious. Granted, some of Alyssa’s funniest moments came from interactions with the other contestants. Still, we have the queen’s solo shots to thank for her most iconic lines.
#4: Katya
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She wasn’t your typical comedy queen, but Katya’s off-kilter sense of humor made her confessionals some of the funniest in drag race herstory. With flawless comedic timing, this seasoned star’s flurry of jokes landed as easily as the Russian accent rolled off her tongue. Importantly, she was never really one to berate her fellow queens. Instead, Katya mostly undersold her own talents and played dumb. Of course, we all saw just how intelligent and skilled she actually was. Naturally, her wit, charisma, and vulnerability in those private moments made audiences fall in love with her a thousand times over.
#3: Bianca Del Rio
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There’s not a single social media user today who hasn’t come across a meme or gif of Bianca’s crazy eyes and that blue and white shirt. The only winning queen on this list, her confessionals birthed some of the most iconic lines to ever come out of the Drag Race franchise. Whether she’s mean or just incredibly honest is up for debate. But her insane comedic timing and biting, razor-sharp wit produced some of the most brutal yet clever reads we’ve ever heard. Yet Bianca was caring and emotional at her core, with a motherly side that eventually reared its head in her intimate moments.
#2: Mo Heart
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Not only was she the narrator of both seasons she competed on, she also lived up to her name. Mo showed off her unique personality and became the heart of the series. A “little girl from Kansas City that no one knew,” she came looking for the crown. And while she pleaded her case to the judges, she also spoke directly to America. She didn’t win, but she definitely captured fans’ hearts with her captivating commentary, endless positivity, and iconic catchphrases. Mo entertained the world with just her face and shoulders, proving that she’s a star, and indeed, a production. That’s a fact, and facts are facts, America. Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions. Peppermint This Lipsync Assassin’s Confessionals Were Funny, Light-Hearted & Hardly Ever Salty Adore Delano An Abundance of Charisma & Quotable Lines Made Her Confessionals Worthwhile Gia Gunn She Was Memorable for Her Hilarious Reads & Main Character Syndrome Ra'Jah O’Hara She Redeemed Herself on All Stars 6 & Was the Narrator of the Season A’keria C. Davenport This Pageant Queen Showed That She Was Just as Witty as the Comedy Girls
#1: Jujubee
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Some queens are narrators, and others are funny. But it’s not often you find someone who can be both. Jujubee, however, proved that it’s more than possible. She did it during her three appearances on the show as she made her way to the finals, and it was brilliant every time. In other words, she was the ultimate confessional goddess. Her scathing and perfectly structured reads - and often random but hilarious stray thoughts - made her one-on-one moments absolutely delightful. She’s every bit as relatable as she is entertaining, and that was reflected in her talking head segments. It’s no wonder RuPaul keeps bringing her back!
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