Top 10 Smartest Diversions In Horror Movies
#10: Pig in a Locker
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“The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” (2003) While not widely beloved, this horror remake does have its fans as it created a template the genre would replicate for years to come. Generally faithful to the original “Texas Chain Saw” in plot, this one does veer off some in the third act as protagonist Erin ironically attempts to lose Leatherface in a slaughterhouse - yeah, it doesn’t entirely work. Rather than simply hide, though, Erin devises a plan whereby she can ambush her attacker. She puts a piglet in a locker and hides in another one across the way. When Leatherface goes to confront the noise, he’s greeted by a different kind of meat, allowing Erin to catch him off guard and cleave off his favorite chainsawing arm. Clever girl.
#9: Burning Bob
“The Hills Have Eyes” (1977) It’s not just horror movie protagonists that can set up diversions - sometimes the villains are just as smart. Case in point Wes Craven’s “The Hills Have Eyes.” The film sees the Carter family stranded in the desert during a road trip. Little do they know, they’re being stalked and preyed upon by a very different family altogether. When Carter family patriarch Bob goes off to get help, he’s kidnapped by the sadistic Papa Jupiter, who then crucifies the poor man and sets him alight to draw the others away from the trailer. With a bulk of the Carters distracted, Pluto and Mars ransack their belongings, which ultimately leads to the innocent Ethel and Lynne being fatally shot.
#8: Passing It Along
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“It Follows” (2014) Part of the genius behind “It Follows” is having a virtually unstoppable, slow-moving entity that will eventually track you down. But that’s not gonna stop the characters in this movie from delaying the inevitable. Protagonist Jay has pretty much the worst date ever, as her partner passes along a deadly supernatural STD. Though he does give her instruction to pass it along herself, extending the chain of cursed individuals to buy more time. It’s a pretty heartless thing to do, but virtually the only defense against such a force. Though certainly conflicted, it’s a diversion Jay too is forced to resort to, though her partners aren’t quite as lucky.
#7: Book Burning
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“Misery” (1990) Apparently nothing gets someone’s attention like setting things ablaze. In this classic Stephen King adaptation, injured writer Paul Sheldon is held against his will by the psychotic Annie Wilkes, his number one fan. Incensed over him killing his flagship character Misery and appalled by his new material, Annie forces Paul to burn his new manuscript, the only copy he has. Though Annie has him write his character back to life, Paul realizes the novel’s completion will also coincide with his death. Though other escape plans fall through, Paul uses Annie’s love for Misery against her, lighting the finished novel on fire. This allows Paul to gain the upper hand, setting off a struggle that ends with Annie’s death.
#6: “Live” Feed
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“Saw II” (2005) The “Saw” franchise quickly became known for its twist endings, and the second installment is no different. Corrupt cop Eric Matthews and a SWAT team are able to apprehend the Jigsaw killer at his hideout, only to discover a sadistic game is being played elsewhere, with the life of Matthews’s own son Daniel hanging in the balance. The movie then cuts between the two locations, as Matthews is forced to play his own game of sitting and waiting with Jigsaw. Matthews ultimately fails, going rogue and forcing Jigsaw to take him to the house. It’s then revealed that the other game’s footage was never live, and that Daniel was in fact safe the entire time - Matthews let the pressure corrupt his reasoning.
#5: Releasing Mailer
“28 Days Later” (2002) “28 Days Later” quickly establishes the immediate danger its zombies pose, they exhibiting extreme rage and infecting others almost instantly. So you wouldn’t think freeing even one captive zombie would be a good idea. However when Jim has to save his companions Selena and Hannah from misogynistic soldiers, he has to get the upper hand somehow. The soldiers probably thought keeping the zombified Mailer for experimentation was a good idea, but once Jim sets him loose on the compound, absolute bedlam follows. The soldiers are helpless to contain the zombie outbreak, as Jim is able to sneak around and complete the mission. You know what they say: the enemy of my enemy is my zombified friend.
#4: Looking Like Young Jason
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“Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter” (1984) Jason Voorhees isn’t the smartest slasher out there. In fact he’s been fooled on more than one occasion, first when final girl Ginny puts on his mother’s sweater in “Part 2.” While that diversion only works for a time, the young Tommy Jarvis has much better success in “Part 4.” After Jason dispatches all the neighboring teenagers, he comes knocking at the Jarvis residence. While his sister Trish has more than she can handle, Tommy shrewdly shaves his head to resemble the killer as a young boy. This distraction gives Trish the opportunity to strike back, before Tommy goes all Jason on, well… Jason. Sure, Jason never stays dead for long, but this strategy ensures the Jarvis name lives on.
#3: Setting off Fireworks
“A Quiet Place” (2018) You’d think fireworks would be the last thing you’d want around when there’s auditorily-enhanced creatures out and about, but apparently you’d be wrong. The Abbott family has become survival experts in the wake of the apocalypse, but things go awry when a deadly Death Angel finds its way onto their farm. To make matters worse, matriarch Evelyn is going into labor, unable to stifle her cries of pain or those of the newborn. Activating their contingency plan, young Marcus sets off fireworks to draw away the Death Angels while Lee goes to rescue his wife. The fireworks ultimately draw more Death Angels to the property, but in a pinch, they prove incredibly effective.
#2: Getting the Party Started
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“The Cabin in the Woods” (2011) Again, sometimes you need to literally release the beast to give yourself the opportunity to escape - or in this case, all of them. After surviving their personally-constructed horror movie, Dana and Marty are forced to enter the subterranean facility operated by the puppeteers behind their ordeal. Only, their arrival is anticipated, and they end up pinned down by a slew of armed guards. Out of options, Dana presses the big red button, releasing every single monster the facility keeps secret. The chaos allows the two to maneuver through it, but at this point, we’re just giddy seeing virtually every conceivable horror movie villain run rampant - it’s a smart decision and a smart plot device.
#1: Reverse Tracks
“The Shining” (1980) With all respect to Tommy Jarvis, Danny Torrance may just be the cleverest kid in horror history. Any one of us would be petrified at the sight of an ax-wielding madman, especially at such a young age. But Danny has the wherewithal to not only evade his deranged father Jack, but completely outsmart him. Realizing Jack can easily follow his snowy footprints in the hedge maze, Danny backtracks in his own prints to establish a false trail. This disorients Jack completely, giving Danny the opportunity to escape the maze while his father chases ghosts. Now unable to find his own way out, Jack is left helpless as he collapses and freezes to death.
