Top 10 Terrible Movies of 2018 So Far

Dear movie industry, please don’t ever waste Dame Helen Mirren’s time, okay? Because really... her name should never be attached to something that falls this short of its potential. In the film, the celebrated English actress plays heiress Sarah Winchester, and tells the story of her seemingly ever-expanding mansion, in which she believes herself to be haunted by the many lives taken by her family’s namesake guns. It’s an interesting premise right? And with Jason Clarke onboard, it had the sort of cast to really bring it to life. Unfortunately, the end result was painfully dull. It’s like the filmmakers had a setting, but never really found a worthy story to tell within it.

This movie should have been a sure thing. With the always awesome Taraji P. Henson in the leading role of Mary Goodwin, a professional hitwoman, we should have gotten the sort of badass, gritty and stylish film that was promised in the trailer. Unfortunately, the finished product feels like the filmmakers similarly felt too confident in Henson’s ability to carry the movie and failed to put any sort of effort into the rest of the film. Rather than delivering the intensity that should have accompanied the killer career path of its protagonist, it plays out like a by-the-books action thriller, devoid of any real surprises (or particularly noteworthy action sequences).

On paper, this really seemed like it was going to be both hilarious and empowering. Then it hit theaters… and managed to miss the mark on both counts. Schumer’s natural comedic talents are utterly wasted with an unfunny script, while the potential message “beauty is within” gets lost under an accumulation of mean-spirited jokes and an unabashed endorsement of commercialism. It’s almost as if the film didn’t know what it wanted to be; or rather, it knew what it wanted to be, but was afraid of alienating audiences by being too preachy about its message. The end result… is that it accomplished very little.

Well… this was certainly a masterstroke of marketing. If only the movie itself could have been of a similar caliber. A trailer for this long-gestating film dropped during the Super Bowl, shockingly announcing that it would be released on Netflix immediately following the end of the game. It was arguably the most epic secret film release in the history of cinema. Unfortunately, it was also a huge freakin’ let down, and the buzz surrounding the film only served to magnify the disappointment that fans of the Cloverfield franchise felt. The cast was strong, but the character development felt painfully thin, and the script haphazardly thrown together.

Jared Leto’s career is a real rollercoaster ride. From “Dallas Buyers Club” to “Suicide Squad,” from “Blade Runner 2049” to this absurdly misguided Netflix Original film…. it seems that for every critically-acclaimed film, there’s a critical flop to balance the scales. In all fairness to the actor though, Leto ‘s performance isn’t to blame for this film’s failure, it was destined to flop. Though the “fish out of water storyline” is indeed classic, the insertion of a white man into another culture doesn’t work in the modern age - people are sick of indulging white savior narratives. And unfortunately for everyone involved, Yakuza crime films have been done before, and done much, much better.

This movie honestly kind of felt doomed from the moment that the cast was announced. A dramatic retelling the true story of France’s 2015 terrorist train attack, the film stars the actual heroes who intervened that day. It was a bold move on filmmaker Clint Eastwood’s part, but sadly not one that paid off. Just because a group of people lived an experience does not mean that they are equipped to recreate it within the framework of the cinematic medium. Of course, the talent isn’t solely to blame. The pacing feels very inconsistent and the film’s overall approach, just sort of dull.

It doesn’t really matter what the critics say... if a film does well enough at the box office, it’s probably getting a sequel. And so, despite mediocre reviews from critics and viewers alike, the forgettable “Gnomeo and Juliet” got a follow-up, and it’s far worse than anyone could have foreseen. Considering the voice cast, which includes James McAvoy, Emily Blunt, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Mary J. Blige, and Johnny Depp, you might go into it expecting a baseline of quality . . . but you’d be wrong. The film is a mindless, unfunny and painfully bland viewing experience. Not only does Sherlock Holmes deserve better… but garden gnomes too.

Though mindless violence has always had a safe space to operate on the big screen in action flicks, the all-too real gun violence currently coloring America’s cultural and political landscape may have finally begun to affect the sort of cinematic stories we can enjoy. A remake of a 1974 film of the same name, Eli Roth’s “Death Wish” follows an aging white man, played by Bruce Willis, who takes justice into his own hands, viciously murdering criminals after his family is assaulted. It plays out like a sadistic revenge fantasy, lacks any sort of self-consciousness, and unfortunately, doesn’t offer enough emotional weight to help wash down all the excessive and culturally tone-deaf violence.

This movie was always going to succeed at the box office; the film’s cast list reads like a who’s who of teen-focused television. With heartthrob Tyler Posey, along with Lucy Hale of “Pretty Little Liars” fame in the leading roles, the adolescent demographic was guaranteed. But boy oh boy was this ever a painful film to sit through . . . and we’re not referring to the body horror. The concept of a supernatural game of Truth or Dare was a gimmick that had potential, but the film does absolutely nothing with it, instead falling back on horror cliches at every turn and failing to deliver scares. And there’s nothing worse than an unscary horror flick.


Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few dishonorable mentions
“Midnight Sun” (2018)

“The Hurricane Heist” (2018)

First we had to survive the lowbrow erotic cultural phenomenon that was the critically-panned Fifty Shades of Grey novel series, and then we were communally made to suffer when its time in the spotlight dragged out with film adaptations. Though “Fifty Shades Freed” managed to slightly edge out “Fifty Shades Darker” on Rotten Tomatoes, at 13%... it’s not exactly a glowing endorsement. Peter Travers of Rolling Stone gave it zero out of four stars, calling it “sheer torture” (and he doesn’t mean the good kind). Robbie Collin of The Telegraph argued that the Audi product-placement was “one of the more emotionally-detailed performances” in the film. Ouch. Thankfully, with this 2018 release, the franchise seems finally over.