Top 10 Things You've Been Doing Wrong Your Whole Life

A straw is a good idea for a number of reasons. First, if you’re wearing lipstick, it minimizes smudging. Second, cans are kinda disgusting. Unless it’s one of those cans with the fancy foil on top, the lip has likely been exposed to all manner of germs before getting into your hand. However, if you’re just cracking open the can and sliding the straw in, you’re only halfway there. That loose plastic straw is going to float and bob all over the place! Thankfully, the tab of the can makes a perfect straw holder - so spin that tab around and enjoy a canned beverage the way it was meant to be.

By the time you reach adulthood, the average person has learned to cook for themselves. But unless you took a culinary class or learned from someone with skills in the kitchen, you’re likely lacking proper technique. Admittedly, it doesn’t take genius level intellect to know how a knife works, but there’s a difference between using a knife and using it properly. Most home cooks use them not only inefficiently, but more often than not, unsafely too. By learning basic knife skills, including how to hold a knife and where to position your hands and fingers, you can significantly decrease your prep time AND your risk of injury.

Since we’re talking about saving time in the kitchen anyways… let’s work on your pasta game. Depending on your technique, pasta can be a relatively quick and easy meal to make. Unfortunately, there’s also lots of room for error. According to Harold McGee, the author behind “The Keys to Good Cooking,” the key to a quick, simple yet successful pasta dish is leaving the pot out of the equation. He recommends making it in a pan using one and a half quarts of cold water. By the time the pasta is at the perfect consistency, you’re left with just the right amount of starchy water to serve as the base for a simple sauce.

The stem might be a tempting place to start peeling your banana, but don’t let yourself be seduced into making the same mistake as your peers. The best approach to eating a banana starts with using the stem as a convenient handle. You can then pinch the little black button at the other end to break the skin. It may take you a few tries to get the hang of it, but once you do, you’ll be joining the elite banana-eaters of society. Not only making the banana easier to hold, this technique also reduces damage to the fruit inside.

Aluminum foil: it’s useful in the kitchen; makes a satisfying crinkling noise and most of us can’t even begin to fathom how they make it. What we do know however, is that the roll always annoyingly comes out of its rectangular box when we’re trying to unroll it, which, let’s be honest, seems like a serious oversight on the part of the designers. Well… turns out the only error in this scenario is a human one. Because, you see… there are usually these little push tabs on either side of the box. And, when properly punched in, they hold that roll in place just like you’ve always dreamed.

Have you ever put on antiperspirant before the leaving the house only to feel, not five minutes later, sweat trickling down your armpit? Are you some sort of weird sweat monster? Are your bodily secretions superhuman? Is this some sort of cruel joke on the part of the antiperspirant manufacturer? No, no and no. The issue is with your timing. You can’t put the product on and expect it to begin working instantaneously. It needs time to do its job, namely, block your pores from releasing sweat. Try applying antiperspirant before bed, allowing it time overnight soak into the pores. The next day, those pits will be sweat-free.

It was likely one of the first life skills your parents taught you, but chances are… they were doing it wrong too. First of all, let’s talk toothpaste quantities. You really don’t need to cover the brush. To get the job done, it only requires about a pea-sized quantity. With kids… you’re aiming for half that. As for timing, you should NEVER brush immediately after eating. The acid from food hasn’t been fully neutralized by your saliva yet, and brushing can actually result in greater damage to your enamel. Finally, when you’re done, spit... but don’t rinse! The fluoride in the toothpaste still needs more time to do its job.

Look, we get it… no one likes to be told how to drink a beer. It’s a simple, uncomplicated experience and that’s why we like it. But just bear with us, because if there’s one thing more unpleasant than being told how to drink a beer… it’s drinking a warm beer. When you hold a bottle at the base, you’re transferring significant amounts of heat to your frosty beverage. Hold it by the neck to keep it colder longer. A similar concept applies to wine. That glass has a stem for a reason. Regardless of whether it’s red or white wine, the heat transfer from your hand on the glass will throw off the temperature.

You thought the tooth-brushing reveal was a shocker, but it turns out there’s an even more basic hygiene practice that the majority of us currently do incorrectly. We’ve all been washing our hands using roughly the same three step method for years - you lather and rub your hands for about 20 seconds, rinse thoroughly and then dry them off. Well... science has reviewed the classic approach and found it wanting. Nowadays, the World Health Organization supports a multiple-step method, which involves more specific rubbing instructions. It may seem tedious and overly thorough, but hey, no one likes germs.

Honorable Mentions

Packing

Wrapping Gifts

Going number two is a private activity for obvious reasons. Unless there’s something wrong, we tend not to talk about it, and even then, we generally save our concerns for a healthcare professional. More so than any other activity on this list however, we as a species are collectively doing this wrong – at least, all those of us who are using a toilet. You see, humankind evolved to go to the bathroom in a squatting position, not in an upright seated position as we do nowadays. To put it simply, we’re not designed to use a toilet. This unnatural position causes a bend in the gut, ultimately resulting in extra strain when doing the deed.