Top 10 Times George Had the Worst Luck on Seinfeld
Out of all the characters on "Seinfeld," George has the absolute worst luck. For this list, we’ll be looking at instances from the show where Mr. Constanza was the victim of unfortunate circumstances. Because we’ll be revealing some major plot points, we are issuing a SPOILER ALERT. Our countdown includes the results of his hand-modeling career, the tipping fiasco, getting robbed by a subway stranger, Susan's death, and more! When did you realize George was truly cursed? Let us know in the comments below.
#10: The Tipping Fiasco
“The Calzone”
It wouldn’t be “Seinfeld” without George fixating on extremely trivial matters and what other people think of him. During his tenure with the New York Yankees, he gets Steinbrenner hooked on calzones and finds himself with newfound influence at work. But whenever George leaves a tip at the store he gets calzones from, the cashier is always distracted. He eventually decides to take his tip out of the jar and put it back in front of the employee. Unfortunately, it looks like George is stealing and he’s banned. His attempts to send Newman and Kramer to get calzones also go array. Although these calzones could have been a big break for George at work, a tip made it all go south.
#9: The Frogger is Destroyed
“The Frogger”
When George and Jerry’s high school haunt is about to close, they pay one final visit to Mario’s Pizza. They quickly find a familiar arcade game there. Since George’s high score is still unbeaten, he resolves to transport the cabinet out of the restaurant while keeping it powered up. After Kramer’s contacts attach a battery, they use up nearly all the juice. George decides to make a last-ditch effort to save The Frogger and his own sense of self-worth by crossing a busy street. Just when he’s about to make it safely, his dreams are dashed at the last moment when the console is smashed to smithereens. Although George often brings about his own unhappiness, it truly wasn’t his fault this time around.
#8: Trying to Get Out of a Relationship
“The Strongbox”
Usually, George is trying his hardest to get women to like him. But a season nine episode provides an interesting spin on that formula. George’s girlfriend Maura refuses to accept that he wants to split. In an effort to change her mind, he starts seeing a colleague and deliberately double books himself at the coffee shop with both women. But this plan backfires. In a twist that George would ordinarily love, his girlfriends decide they can both date him. If “Seinfeld” has taught us anything, it’s that George never gets what he wants exactly when he wants it.
#7: Susan’s Death
“The Invitations”
One of George’s worst bouts of bad luck spelled a surprising and tragic ending for his fiancée Susan Ross. When invitations need to be sent out for their wedding, George is adamant about buying the cheapest brand available. Unbeknownst to him, the adhesive on these budget invitations is poisonous. This turn led to Susan getting sent straight to the hospital after licking too many of them. Her subsequent death was one of the show’s most controversial plot twists because of George’s absolutely callous reaction. He even seemed relieved at Susan’s demise. Maybe George was also happy because the incident could have been fatal for him too — if he had been a tad more helpful.
#6: The Compromising Photos
“The Package”
George’s attempts to woo the women in his life are frequent and often ill-fated. In “The Package”, he attempts to flirt with a clerk at his local photo counter by taking racy pictures. Unfortunately, they’re intercepted by another employee who misreads the signs and slips some scandalous pictures of his own into the mix. When Newman discovers this, he accuses George of being part of a mature mail order scheme. But George’s embarrassment doesn’t end there. When George’s love interest sees the photos enlarged by Newman, she runs for the hills. Although bad luck got in the way, we had no idea why he thought this ill fated photo plan would work at all.
#5: Medical Issues
“The Heart Attack”
After having a supposed heart attack, George discovers that he actually is dealing with tonsils that have somehow regrown. While this seems like a relatively manageable issue, things only go downhill from here. George is encouraged to go to an alternative medical practitioner whose methods cause even more trouble. It was bad enough that this shady professional’s actions send George back to the hospital. But to make matters worse, he gets into a car crash because the ambulance technician and the driver have a brawl on the way. In between our laughs at this absurd situation, we were left wondering if George really deserved all of this.
#4: Getting Robbed by a Subway Stranger
“The Subway”
There’s a classic episode where all the main characters endure distinct trials and tribulations during separate trips on the subway. Although none of their journeys are totally painless, George’s misadventure is particularly humiliating. After being seduced by an alluring stranger, he follows her out of the train. She then proceeds to handcuff him to her hotel bed frame. Since George is low on cash, she takes his clothes instead. The hapless man is forced to schlep all the way to Monk’s sporting only a bedsheet. While getting swindled is terrible, being left in the buff on top of that is just unfortunate.
#3: Getting Caught in the Buff
“The Hamptons”
Sometimes George has worse luck with his friend’s girlfriends than his own. He really strikes out when he and the gang travel to a resort destination. After taking a dip in some cold water, Jerry’s girlfriend Rachel then barges in on George undressing. If this wasn’t embarrassing enough, she then starts laughing. He quickly tries to insist that the recent time in the water made some things appear smaller than they are. Unfortunately, the damage was already done. This memorable “Seinfeld” episode brought the word “shrinkage” into the show’s lexicon and pop culture. It’s too bad that George had to be the butt of this small joke.
#2: A Hand-Modeling Career Goes Up in Flames
“The Puffy Shirt”
It’s not every day that George gets an opportunity to feel special. So, when a model rep takes note of his exquisite hands, he jumps at a shot for a lucrative new career. Throughout the episode, he’s hilariously protective of his mitts. George even wears protective gear and gets into manicures. Unfortunately, his professional ambitions are dashed before the episode ends. George decides to make fun of Jerry’s puffy shirt as soon as he sees it. Unfortunately, the designer is nearby and gets so heated that she pushes him towards an iron. In an instant, George’s hands and modeling dreams are completely ruined.
Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions.
A Game of Telephone, “The Chinese Restaurant”
George’s Attempts To Contact His Date Are Thwarted By All Those Around Him
Getting Grapefruit Juice In His Eye, “The Wink”
His Involuntary Wink Sets Off a Disastrous Chain of Events at Work
The “Human Fund” Plot, “The Strike”
George’s Attempt to Save Money on Coworkers’ Gifts Lead to a Painful Festivus Dinner
The IQ Test, “The Cafe”
A Plan For Elaine to Take an IQ Test on George’s Behalf Fails Miserably
Falling Down the Stairs, “The Summer of George”
While Enjoying His Severance, George Has an Accident Requiring Intensive Physiotherapy
#1: George Gets Caught
“The Contest”
While many “Seinfeld” fans remember the racy “Contest” episode fondly, some may forget what kicked off the mature competition in the first place. In the first scene, a despondent George explains that his mother walked in on him while he was enjoying a “Glamour” magazine a bit too much. The shock of seeing her son in such a compromising position sent her straight to the hospital. He’s then forced to endure humiliating words from his mom while carrying the embarrassment of the incident. When it comes to being a victim of circumstance, George is in a league of his own.
