Top 10 Unrealistic Things About Movie Fights
#10: You Can Survive a Huge Fall by Landing on a Car
This might come as a shock, but a car is not actually a suitable stand-in for a pillow. Throughout movie history, countless heroes avoided death after falling from an incredible height by landing on the hood of some poor schmuck's car. Not only do they survive, but they also tend to be pretty much unharmed. Although cars are designed to absorb hits, their purpose is to protect the passenger and not a falling actor or actress. They would absorb a bit of the energy and reduce the fall distance by about 3 feet, which might be the difference between an open or closed casket funeral.
#9: Fighters Know How to Use Every Single Weapon
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Just because they both have a pointy end, does not mean all swords are born equal. Despite what is suggested, weapons are not designed to be mastered in the time it takes to microwave a cup of noodles. Sticking just to Japan and swords, currently, there are dozens of different schools with their own teachings and fighting stances. Someone could spend years attempting to master how to use a katana and would still feel lost if handed a Tachi sword. What opponents are wearing is also very important. This trope is so overdone that even “Team America: World Police” took notice.
#8: It's Easy to Land a Punch
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Ever been in a real fight? Remember how many punches actually landed? If the answer was more than one, then consider joining the UFC. In a movie fight, it’s uncommon for a punch to fail to hit skin, and on the rare occasions where a punch is actually dodged, it is treated like an incredible skill. The thing is that the human body is terrible at hiding anything, so it is impossible to not telegraph a punch from a mile away. As long as the target knows they are in a fight, they can just step out of the way.
#7: Fights Are Graceful
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What is one thing that a dance and an onscreen fight have in common? They both come with a choreographer. Movie fights are thrilling to watch, as the hero – dressed in a three piece suit - gently skates from one henchman to the next, avoiding the barrage of fists and kicks while dishing out some epic moves. It is not enough to win; they must look good while doing it. One adjective that has never been used to describe a street fight is 'pretty.' No, a real-life brawl is more often than not chaotic, messy, and often stars a few drunk guys who can barely walk, let alone pull off a spinning wheel kick.
#6: Every Fight Is a Fight to the Death
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Can't we all just get along? No? Then we'll just have to kill each other because there is absolutely no other way to resolve this. Inspired by Hollywood's revisionist and romanticized version of gladiator matches - as historically they were rarely to the death - any slight disagreement quickly escalates to a duel to the finish in film these days. We understand why it is done, as it raises the stakes, but people are capable of showing some restraint, even when pushed to the limit or, god forbid, someone accidentally bumps into their shoulder.
#5: There’s Time for Witty One-Liners
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If movies and anime taught us anything, it’s that when it comes to exposition or a kickass one-liner, any situation is good. Smack talk might be a part of most fighting events, but it is usually left for before the bell is rung and the match gets underway. Why? Because every single breath counts and words are unnecessary. In movies, this is done to allow for the personality of the hero and villain to shine through, especially if their defining trait is that they never shut up.
#4: Large Groups Attack One at a Time
Street fights and fair fights go hand in hand. Oh, wait, something doesn't feel right here. If there is one unspoken rule of a movie fight, it’s that henchmen should give the hero space and take them on one, or maybe two, at a time. In situations where the purpose is for the villain to show dominance over the hero, it makes sense that the larger group would stand back, but when their mission is to kill or capture, then it makes absolutely no sense. Even Bruce Lee would struggle against 15 men at a time.
#3: It’s Relatively Easy to Finish a Fight
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Real fights are exhausting. It is not just getting hit or dishing out an ass whooping, but the mental strain of knowing you could be in for a world of hurt. During that minute or two, all the muscles in the body are at their absolute limit, preparing to move at a moment’s notice. Highly trained fighters, who spend months preparing for a single match, need to take a break every other minute; as otherwise, their bodies would not last. So yeah, just because someone can go for a 30-minute run, does not mean they can last in a half hour fight.
#2: Both Fighters Know How to Fight
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We have a slight confession to make: everything we know about how to fight we picked up from the movies. After all, if Snow White is capable of leading an army without any training, then we should be able to master karate by sitting on our behinds, right? Unless centered on a comedic sidekick, everyone in an action movie seems to know how to fight or use a specific weapon. Even an average thug seems to have at least gone to a martial arts class or two… probably as a team building activity. Okay, one-sided fights are pretty dull; but hey, so is real life.
#1: Characters Almost Never Get Concussions
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Nothing an hour of sleep cannot fix… The CDC defines a concussion as a traumatic brain injury induced by a bump to the head. The hit causes the brain to shake within the skull, damaging brain cells in the process. Depending on where the blow landed, it might cause the person to lose consciousness, although a concussion can still be dangerous if that does not happen. Symptoms usually last for about a week and if someone is knocked out for a few hours, for god sakes, take them to a hospital. Apparently, James Bond gets cold cocked so often that he developed a tolerance for concussions. And he’s not the only one, in the movies at least…
