Top 10 Upcoming 2022 Movies That Are Already Hated

The murder mystery genre has been making a comeback in recent years, with Kenneth Branagh leading the charge directing and starring in a pair of Agatha Christie adaptations about iconic literary detective Hercule Poirot. While 2017’s “Murder on the Orient Express” was a neat diversion, it already feels somewhat antiquated, with more satirical takes like “Knives Out” making the formula feel much fresher. “Death on the Nile,” the second of Branagh’s Poirot series, saw the pandemic push it back from its original release of October 2020. And too bad, because otherwise it would have avoided the controversy surrounding co-star Armie Hammer, something that will likely loom large over audiences upon release. We’ll just wait for “Knives Out 2,” thanks.

Many video game movies went through development hell. Hell, we still haven’t gotten a true live-action “Halo” movie. But lately, it felt like “Uncharted” was the little engine that couldn’t. Well, roughly fourteen years since entering development and six director departures later, we’re finally getting it from Ruben Fleischer of “Zombieland” fame. The bigger question, however, was always who would play Nathan Drake. After a lot of names were thrown around over the years, the studio may have been so indecisive that they cast two candidates: Tom Holland as a younger version of the character and Mark Wahlberg as Victor Sullivan. We wish we could be optimistic, but we just got a Tom Holland movie that came out of development hell, and it wasn’t great.

Look, 2021 already saw the release of the “PAW Patrol” movie, so why do we need this one? We’re being a little facetious, but the question remains. Unaffiliated with any other current DC film franchise, “League of Super-Pets” is set to be a computer-animated adventure featuring all our favorite pets of JLA members, such as Krypto the Superdog, Ace the Bat-Hound, and Jumpa, Wonder Woman’s kangaroo. Wait, what? Ignoring that for a moment, the cast list does sound somewhat enticing, with Dwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart playing Krypto and Ace, respectively. But we gotta ask, between the “Jumanji” movies and “Central Intelligence,” how much more “Dwevin” can we really take? Probably a lot, but not here.

If you thought Harrison Ford was old when he made “Kingdom of the Crystal Skull,” he’ll be eighty by the time the next installment comes out. Granted, that didn’t turn out to be the ideal outing for Ford to go out on, but do we really need to make the same mistake again when Indy already literally rode off into the sunset in “The Last Crusade?” At the very least, they could always immortalize the character á la James Bond with new actors, provided one of them isn’t Shia LaBeouf, of course. Also, we love what James Mangold did with “Logan,” but without Steven Spielberg at the helm, will it really be the swan song we deserve?

In all fairness, “Bumblebee,” the most recent “Transformers” movie, was a serious breath of fresh air, and “Rise of the Beasts” will reportedly be a sequel to that. However, “Bumblebee” had the advantage of centering around one Autobot, whereas “Rise of the Beasts” looks to get the gang back together. And let’s face it, every “Transformers” movie with a lot of Transformers became pretty unfocused pretty quick. Granted, the director of those entries, Michael Bay, won’t be returning, as instead Steven Caple Jr. of “Creed II” will be joining the franchise. As good as that sequel was, we’ve been burned too many times by “Transformers” movies to regard new ones with anything other than trepidation.

Even after loaning Spider-Man to the MCU, Sony seems intent on making a cinematic universe. While the first “Venom” movie was a smash hit, we don’t know if that success can be replicated with a character like Morbius the Living Vampire. Playing the titular antihero is Jared Leto, who already doesn’t have great success when it comes to superhero movies. Originally scheduled for release in 2020, the trailer has been out for a while now, and it doesn’t look great. While it’ll probably be better than the Aunt May movie we almost got - no, really, look it up - we have more than a few reservations about the Sony Pictures Universe of Marvel Characters.

You know what they say: when there’s money to be made, Hollywood… finds a way. While no sequel has yet measured up to the original “Jurassic Park,” the “Jurassic World” movies feel even more removed than the others. You could chalk that up to the advancements in filmmaking and CGI, but we’d argue that the sense of wonder is just gone, completely devoid of a wow factor. Though original series stars Sam Neill, Laura Dern and Jeff Goldblum will be returning for “Dominion,” we fear they’ll play second fiddle to main characters Owen and Claire, who have been way less interesting thus far. Unless this is somehow great, we’re about ready for the franchise to go extinct.

This is one we’ve been dreading for a while now, long before the pandemic bumped it from its original 2020 release date. Hell, even before the first “Minions” movie we were over Minions, but that spin-off made over a billion dollars, so apparently, we dug our own graves. Set in the 1970s, the film will be a prequel that shows a young Gru’s dealings with the yellow monstrosities, so we’ll at least get Steve Carell’s vocal stylings to temper the inanity. Still, he is severely outnumbered, and in the Minion apocalypse, so too will we. Are we sure Minions aren’t one of the biblical plagues?

Oh, boy, where to start with this one. The first “Fantastic Beasts” looked to be a fairly neat if unnecessary glimpse into a subset of the Wizarding World, but the sequel got all kinds of bogged down in mythology and world-building. Suddenly, five of these movies seems like a lot. Of course, you can’t talk about this movie without addressing the Johnny Depp in the room, or, rather, the lack of him. After having played the main antagonist Gellert Grindelwald, Depp exited the project shortly after filming began, presumably due to the controversy surrounding him and ex-wife Amber Heard. Replacing him is Mads Mikkelsen, who is no stranger to villain roles. For quality and real-world reasons, this movie sounds like no fun.

This movie was getting delayed before movies getting delayed was cool. Originally scheduled for release in 2014, this and the three other sequels kept getting pushed back, and pushed back, and pushed back, to the point that the window of opportunity might’ve closed a long time ago. Sure, the first “Avatar” became the highest-grossing film of all time, and even reclaimed that spot thanks to a Chinese re-release. But the years have not been kind critically. For one, its then-revolutionary visual effects have been matched by other films, and its story and themes haven’t held up very well either. We should probably know better than to doubt James Cameron, but we are really over “Avatar.”