Top 10 Video Game Theories That Will Ruin Your Childhood

“Super Smash Bros.” series (1999-2018)

“Super Smash Bros.” is one of Nintendo’s most beloved spin-offs, pitting dozens of characters against each other in spectacular brawls. The intro of the first game implies the game’s boss, Master Hand, is really a child playing with their toys. Some fans have taken this implication and applied it to sequels to explain how it represents the child growing up. In “Melee,” characters can be collected as trophies; as the child has gotten older, they’ve taken to collecting figurines instead of action figures. In the campaign for “Brawl,” Master Hand is controlled by a new villain, Tabuu; playing with toys as an adult is considered by some to be odd, or “taboo.” This theory adds a sad layer to the franchise’s most well-known antagonist.

“Sonic the Hedgehog” series (1991-)

The biggest allure of “Sonic” is trying to blast your way through its complex levels as fast as possible. But what if this was by design? This theory states that Sonic is not, in fact, a hero constantly battling Dr. Eggman, but rather his pet of sorts. When you think about how Sonic’s levels are designed, it actually makes a bit of sense. They’re littered with obstacles only Sonic, or his fellow critter friends, should be able to navigate. Giant loop-the-loops, countless springboards, even power-ups specifically meant for Sonic can be found throughout. Like a much more complicated maze for a rat in search of cheese, Sonic’s adventures are really just a big scientific study.

“Splatoon” series (2015-)

For many, “Splatoon” is a silly team-based shooter that people of all ages can enjoy. But as the series has grown more popular, some have picked up on some hints about when and where it’s set, leading to a pretty disturbing theory. “Splatoon” is set on a post-apocalyptic Earth, with humans having died out thousands of years ago from a climate crisis. There are small nods to post-apocalyptic Earth throughout, like the original’s Sunken Scrolls and the upside down Eiffel Tower in “Splatoon 3’s” trailer. However, the climate aspect took a bit more piecing together. Given that Inklings evolved to leave the sea and die whenever they fall into the water below an arena, it seems humans screwed up the planet pretty badly.

“Super Mario Galaxy” (2007)

Rosalina and Peach share several physical features, including eye color and hair style. While this could be explained by simplistic character design, some players have taken it to mean something far more. In “Super Mario Galaxy,” you get Rosalina’s backstory one piece at a time, including the death of her mother when she was little. We also learn that she revisits her mother’s planet every 100 years, meaning we have no idea how old she is. At the end of the game, Bowser accidentally creates a supermassive black hole. The Lumas come to the rescue, with Rosalina explaining that Mario’s universe will be recreated. If she’s seen this happen before, it’s possible she is Peach’s daughter, just from some long-lost universe.

“Punch-Out!!” series (1984-2009)

“Punch-Out!!” follows Little Mac, a literal David versus a handful of Goliaths. For some players, there’s a very creative explanation as to why the undersized boxer goes up against foes that dwarf him in size. According to this theory, the entire thing is Mac’s ‘Make-A-Wish’ dream. His size is due to muscular dystrophy, though he still dreams of being a boxing champion. Canonically, he’s 17, and the Make-A-Wish age cutoff is 18. His opponents are merely performers, displaying obvious patterns in their fighting styles so he can defeat them. Additionally, in the case of “Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!” on the NES, there’s even a celebrity appearance. The theory casts Mac in a much more sympathetic light, and makes each ending bittersweet.

“Animal Crossing” series (2001-)

“Animal Crossing” is about as pure and warm as a video game can get. Of course, that hasn’t stopped people from coming up with twisted theories about it. This particular one states the town you move to at the beginning of each game is really run by a child-abducting cult. You usually get little to no background on the player character, and the adorable animal townsfolk are a pretty sweet incentive to stick around. However, you’re then forced to work off an insane amount of debt. You’re also never allowed to return home. And while you can visit other islands and towns, you’re always taken by the animals and only to places they allow you to visit. Pretty sneaky, Tom Nook.

“Wario” series (1994-)

Wario considers himself one of Mario’s greatest adversaries, fashioning his entire appearance on being the evil version of Nintendo’s mascot. But one theory brings his hatred into question. What if Wario didn’t hate Mario, but was actually an obsessive fan? In Wario’s first appearance, “Super Mario Land 2,” he steals Mario’s castle and alters the outside, yet keeps statues of Mario inside. Throughout his history, Wario’s greed has grown exponentially. Some have pointed to this and his appearance as a way for him to cash-in on Mario’s fame. Even Wario’s poor hygiene and resentful nature are seen by some players as negative stereotypes for fanboys, adding evidence to the pile.

“Pac-Man” (1980)

Even games with the most simple of premises aren’t safe from disturbing fan theories. “Pac-Man” is one of the most famous arcade games ever created, tasking players with gobbling up pellets in mazes while avoiding ghosts. However, some believe those aren’t pellets at all. This theory suggests they’re actually pills and that Pac-Man is an addict. Moreover, the appearance of fruit, such as cherries, points towards slot machines and gambling. As far as the ghosts are concerned, they could represent one of several things, such as guilt over one’s actions or dreams long lost to various addictions. While most of us just see it as a bit of fun, others see it as a warning against certain unhealthy dependencies.

“The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask” (2000)

One of the most widespread theories in video games states that Link dies near the beginning of “Majora’s Mask.” There’s a surprising amount of evidence. The nature in which he enters Termina is certainly bizarre. The developers had a strict time limit, causing them to reuse character models from “Ocarina.” But the theory states he’s actually dreaming of those characters as he’s dying. However, the biggest portion of the theory declares that each area represents one of the Five Stages of Grief, which Link must go through to leave purgatory. The disbelief that the Moon could fall in Clock Town represents Denial, while the Deku King’s blind fury in the Swamp represents Stage 2, or Anger, and so on and so forth.

“Pokémon” series (1998-)

There are enough disturbing “Pokémon” theories to make up their own list. But the one that really makes our skin crawl concerns marriage between humans and Pokémon. In the Japanese release of “Diamond & Pearl,” players could find a book that spoke of human/Pokémon relations long ago. It was changed in the English localization, though some players came to an unsettling conclusion. Since certain Pokémon, like Jynx and Hitmonchan, take on humanoid forms and even appear to wear clothes, these must be the evolutionary results of those marriages. The theory also points to these Pokémon having child or baby-like pre-evolved forms, like Smoochum to Jynx, as further evidence. That all sounds pretty close to bestiality, and it definitely changes the way we look at Pokémon.