Top 10 Warning Labels Created for Morons

A modern-day convenience to many parents is that of the stroller. An offshoot of the baby carriage, strollers are intended to allow younger children to remain sitting while their parents push them along. Often employed to help keep the kids up with their parents' pace, strollers typically fold up into a compact shape for storage under beds, in your car, or virtually anywhere. However, it seems in some cases, a label had to be added to remind parents to not fold the stroller without first removing the child. Since it would be incredibly difficult to fold it with the child in it, it seems a little overkill to need a label to warn us.

Somewhere in a secret laboratory, an unnamed scientist is about to make a grave mistake. They’ve spotted a new piece of mail on their desk from a fellow scientist they’ve been collaborating with. Instead of just tearing it open, they grab a small letter opener from the jar on the desk. They slip the blade through the side and swipe through the paper like butter. But just as it tears through the edge, the opener slips from the man’s hand. The scientist is paralyzed by fear and screams just as the opener bounces off their… eye. If only they had read the warning label on the box that told them to use eye protection. This travesty could have been avoided.

Although we can’t say for sure, we highly suspect this one was inspired by the famous McDonald’s coffee lawsuit. The short version: a woman sued McDonald’s when she burnt herself accidentally when her fresh cup of Joe spilled on her lap. Truth be told, Stella Liebeck spent eight days in the hospital after suffering from third-degree burns. So, maybe Ronald’s coffee was a bit too hot. She may have won her case, but it seems to have inspired some other coffee franchises to warn people about the dangers of pouring hot coffee between your legs.

Your head hits the pillow and off to dreamland you go. In the midst of your slumber, you find yourself with an urge to wash your hair. You can’t stop dreaming about it. You just keep washing it again and again and again. When you finally feel it’s clean enough, you pull out your industrial-sized hair dryer and try to remove the moisture from your wet locks. Alas, as you are about to turn it on, you notice a small warning label near the switch that warns you not to use it while you are sleeping. The shock of such a warning releases you from your snooze and you awaken in bed, forever wondering exactly how someone would dry their hair while asleep.

Now here’s an entry where we can actually envision someone having tried this and ending up with serious injuries. We can almost picture the likes of Wee Man from “Jackass” climbing into one of these machines and having Steve-O turn it on. As nonsensical as it may seem for adults, the label is not without merit. Small children and toddlers are just the right size for climbing into both a regular-sized dryer, and a front-loading washing machine. As much as maybe parents don’t like giving their kids baths, running them through a short cycle in the washing machine is just not a safe alternative.

As we go through this list, it becomes abundantly clear that a big part of what these labels are doing is accounting for a complete and total lack of common sense. The average person in an industrial society knows that gasoline is very flammable. Since it burns very easily, it shouldn’t be that much of a stretch to assume that putting fire near it may not be a good idea. Ever wonder why there are “no smoking” signs at gas stations? The actual risk of an explosion is negligible, but there is a real danger of the fumes igniting and harming someone. But still, why would this warning need to be put on a jet ski?

Uhm, exactly how would you hold a chainsaw from the wrong end? Given that this particular piece of equipment can literally only be used one way, it’s hard to fathom exactly where this warning came from. One hand holds the handle while the other pulls the trigger which turns the machine on and keeps it running. Even if you tried to hold it by the blade, the sheer weight of the motor would likely tip the device over. Sure, if the machine was somehow running without the main handle engaged, perhaps you could hold it by the blade. But why on earth would you ever want to try that?

Quick poll: Do you iron your clothes? If your attire is full of suits, ties, and dress shirts, odds are you do. For those of us who have, we’ve learned the dos and don’ts of ironing from our parents, a school teacher, or maybe even right here on YouTube. Since the entire point of ironing is to get rid of wrinkles, you’d think one would probably need a flat surface to iron them on. Yet it appears there must be a group of people who didn’t learn that and needed to see a warning label instructing them not to wear the clothes while ironing them. We’d think the possibility of getting burned would be enough, don’t you?

Trivia question: What do an iPod Shuffle, a box of hammers, a brass fishing hook, and a laser printer toner have in common? They all share the distinct embarrassment of having had a warning label, instructing people to not eat them. How does one even get the toner out of a laser printer cartridge to begin with, let alone try to consume it? And why would anyone try to eat a hammer, let alone a box of them? Maybe someone thought the “shuffle” part of an iPod would help them with digestion maybe? And as for the hook, who knows? Maybe they were trying to catch a ringworm inside of themselves.

Did you chuckle at hearing our #1 entry? Yes, this is a real thing. There have been instances of this label found on both rotary tools and full-on hand drills. No one likes going to the dentist, and yes, sometimes it can hurt the pocketbook a little. But no one could possibly need a filling so bad that they go out to their back shed, pull out their Black+Decker and a soldering iron, and try to fill their own teeth. The sheer stupidity of even attempting to use one of these tools is unfathomable. In some ways, it truly makes us question whether human beings really are the most intelligent species on Earth.

Have you ever spotted a ridiculous label and wondered why it was there? Show us how silly the world can be in the comments down below.