Top 10 Worst Disney Performances

“Mr. Magoo” (1997)

This live-action adaptation of the UPA cartoon character is often cited among the worst Disney movies ever. Ironically, the film’s worst performance comes from someone whose career was about to take off. No, this isn’t a clip from the unaired “Alias” pilot. In one of her first film roles, Jennifer Garner played Stacey Sampanahodrita, a representative from Kuristan. In case you were wondering, Kuristan is a fictional country, although Kurdistan is an actual West Asian region encompassing Iran, Iraq, Syria, and Turkey. Whether or not there’s any relation, Garner’s take on the “quirky foreigner” archetype is all kinds of uncomfortable, from her over-the-top wardrobe to her stereotypical accent. Stereotypical of who exactly we’re not sure, but we feel like the whole world should be offended.

“The Lone Ranger” (2013)

Disney reinvigorated Johnny Depp’s career with Jack Sparrow, giving us a character for the ages. Ever since then, though, Depp has been trying to recapture the eccentric spontaneity of Captain Jack with every other performance. Nowhere is this more apparent than in “The Lone Ranger.” Depp took on the iconic role of Tanto, although let’s be honest. He’s just doing his Sparrowing schtick, except with more makeup and a more troubling voice. And yeah, let’s acknowledge the crow hat in the room. Depp is part Native American… supposedly… by a small percentage. Even so, Depp’s casting is more distracting than anything else. Whether or not this controversy contributed to the film’s box office failure, it officially called the extent of Depp’s star power into question.

“College Road Trip” (2008)

Martin Lawrence was on a hot streak of horrible movies in the 2000s, and this feature-length sitcom virtually destroyed any remaining goodwill from his standup days. Lawrence plays James Porter, a police chief who doesn’t want his daughter, played by Raven-Symoné, to move out of state for college. We’ve seen the overprotective father caricature before, but Lawrence’s performance is so unhinged and at times threatening that James seems like he should be sedated… or at least have his taser taken away. Even the Dean of Disney Channel Acting School would tell Lawrence to dial it back. Of course, it doesn’t help when the film suddenly tries to be sentimental, requiring Lawerence to go from a raving madman to sincere father.

“The Little Mermaid” (2023)

This Academy Award winner can be a charismatic and intimidating screen presence, seemingly making him an ideal choice to play King Triton. Javier Bardem brings zero passion to the role, however. Whether condemning Ariel for saving a human or finally letting her go, Bardem possesses even less emotion than the hideously rendered sea creatures that Triton presides over. Maybe Bardem simply doesn’t work well in CGI-heavy environments. In any case, he reads his lines with the investment of somebody who accepted the role for his daughter and can’t wait to collect his paycheck. Remember the scene in the original where Triton is transformed from a commanding ruler to a powerless polyp? That sums up what Bardem does to the character with his passive delivery.

“Snow Dogs” (2002)

Has any actor fallen further after winning an Oscar than Cuba Gooding Jr.? Before you list someone else in the comments… “Snow Dogs.” We rest our case. Granted, Gooding clearly wasn’t gunning for another Oscar or even a Golden Globe as Theodore Brooks, a dentist who inherits a pack of sled dogs. Even with a lazy script that inexplicably had five credited writers, Gooding takes the film from obnoxiously bad to “what were they thinking?” bad. Ted is supposed to be the quote-unquote “normal” outsider in a village of colorful characters when in reality, Gooding behaves like somebody from another planet. When Gooding isn’t screaming through a scene (oftentimes for no reason), he’s mugging to new extremes of desperation, making the dogs feel more natural.

“Maleficent” (2014)

We sense that the filmmakers wanted King Stefan to be a sympathetic villain who becomes blinded by greed and grief. We lose any empathy for Stefan early on, though, and his descent into madness feels about as fluid as Daenerys’. While much of this is due to poor writing, Sharlto Copley doesn’t elevate the material, coming off as confused as he shifts between overacting and under-acting. There’s a scene where Aurora returns to her father after years, only to go ignored. So many emotions could’ve been conveyed through Stefan’s face alone, from sorrow over the time lost to the pursuit of revenge overshadowing the love Stefan once felt. Copley expresses NONE of that in a performance that never evolves beyond reading from a script.

“Inspector Gadget” (1999)

We understand that some charges are inevitable when translating a half-hour animated show into a live-action feature, but Disney’s “Inspector Gadget” practically goes out of its way to enrage fans of the source material. Matthew Broderick, in particular, misfires as Inspector Gadget, or John Brown as he’s called here. Broderick is completely clueless, which you could argue is in the spirit of the character, but not in the right way. He’s no Don Adams, transforming Gadget from an absent-minded good-doer who bumbles in and out of trouble to a bland everyman with little humor, charm, or personality. The only thing more awkward than Broderick’s portrayal of Gadnet is his performance as the evil Robo-Gadget. Between these two, we get the worst of both Brodericks.

“Oz the Great and Powerful” (2013)

This Oz origin story miscasts Mila Kunis in more ways than one. For starters, she’s supposed to be Rachel Weisz’s sister, even though they have different accents. That nitpick aside, Kunis’ performance doesn’t become genuinely awful until Theodora turns into the Wicked Witch of the West. Um, spoilers? Not only are the makeup effects laughable, but Kunis approaches the part as if she were in an elementary school play. Kunis screeches and sneers through every scene, hoping somebody will take her seriously, although we’ve seen more dignity from people cosplaying as Elphaba at BroadwayCon. Kunis is a talented actress, but words can’t describe how wrong she is for this role. The second she turns green, any hope for this performance melts away.

“Pinocchio” (2022)

Director Robert Zemeckis has guided Tom Hanks toward some of his best performances, but he also played a hand in arguably this actor’s worst. Tom Hanks’ take on Geppetto is somehow even cartoonier than the animated version, sporting an outlandish wig and an even more ridiculous Italian accent. Suddenly, Hanks’ Dutch accent in “Elvis” doesn’t seem all that… no, it’s still bad, but this is just as irritating. You know what’s even cringier than watching Hanks talk to CGI characters in a hoaky accent? Watching Hanks sing to CGI characters we know aren’t there! Surely Hanks must’ve realized he was in a bad movie after having to rhyme Pinocchio with “gnocchi-o.” If he claims otherwise, somebody’s nose is bound to grow.

“Kazaam” (1996)

When did we jump the shark as a society? Was it when we elected a reality TV host president or when O.J. Simpson’s goddaughter became an idol to our youth? We’d personally go back to 1996 when Disney enlisted Shaq to play a rapping genie. This NBA All-Star has many gifts, but there are three things he is not. For one, he’s not a movie star, preparing for the role of Kazaam with the same levels of dedication we expect go into a Papa John’s commercial. Secondly, he’s not a rapper just because he contributed a poem to “Chicken Soup for the Kid’s Soul.” Finally, Shaq is not a genie, although he has a better shot at becoming one than the latter two things.

Which performance made you groan, “Seriously, Disney?” Vent in the comments.