Top 20 Games That Trolled the Cheaters And Pirates

Ah yes, you guys remember “Puggsy?” That’s OK, we don’t either. While this seemed to be yet another platformer cashing in on the Mario craze of the time, what it is perhaps best known for is its snarky anti-piracy message straight from the developers themselves. “Puggsy” used SRAM as an anti-piracy measure; because the game employed passwords, internal SRAM was not present in genuine cartridges of the game. However, the game does a quick SRAM check after completion of the fifth level, and if detected, the game will lock down, presenting a note from the developers in which they tell you to stop playing a “silly” copy and to go buy the real version of the game.

Like a great fisherman, “Garry’s Mod” set the bait, cast it out, and waited patiently for the juicy reward. And it worked flawlessly. In order to catch pirates, an intentional error was placed into the game, which would read, “Unable to shade polygon normals.” Naturally, players who received this error message went to the forums in order to seek out a solution. The only problem is that this message would only be seen in illegal copies of the game, meaning anyone who asked about the error online was automatically outed as a pirate, and their accompanying SteamID could result in a permanent ban. This error message resulted in 2,500 pirates being identified in just 15 hours.

Once upon a time, the “Spyro” games were notorious for being easily cracked. Upon release of this title, the developers put their foot down and filled the game with pirate booby traps. At the beginning, Zoe clearly explains that they are playing an illegal copy of the game , and as such, they should expect consequences. If they decided to ignore her warning, consequences they received, ranging from altering the game’s language settings to removing necessary items for story progression. But perhaps the most devilish method they employed was sending players back to the beginning of the game and erasing their save file if they managed to reach the final boss. You can’t say they weren’t warned.

Not for one second would you consider sharing your…um…personal habits on social media for all to see. Unfortunately for those that stole the erotic visual novel “Cross Days” in Japan, that’s exactly what happened. Pirates would download what looked like the game installer from file sharing websites, but it was actually vicious malware which would steal personal information from the pirate’s computer. After taking a brief survey once installed, the victim’s personal information and a screenshot of their desktop would be uploaded on a website for everyone to see. It’s a little line-crossing, sure, but it would certainly teach a lesson.

Who enjoys the sound of thousands of vuvuzelas playing at once? Nobody, that’s who! For those who pirated the Nintendo DS version of this game, they were treated to a full blown assault on their ears. Stolen copies would literally be unplayable, as necessary button prompts were removed, eliminating the entire concept of the gameplay, and the game’s licensed music was replaced with the screeching noise of vuvuzelas. This made it sound like you were in the middle of an obnoxious soccer match surrounded by thousands of drunk fans instead of listening to funky tunes.

Fighting games and rage quitting are like the yin yang of gaming – you couldn’t think of a more harmonious connection. As this game keeps track of win-loss records, many furious fighters were disconnecting from their internet once a loss was imminent. Fortunately for those of us who DON’T disconnect upon the slightest hint of losing, the developers thought of a brilliant solution. Once a clear pattern began to emerge of a certain player quitting, the game would segregate them from everyone else and put them in a special server with fellow quitters. This would ensure not only that you stop ruining everyone else’s experience, but that you would never finish a match again.

Anyone who has ever played the masterpiece that is “Red Alert 2” knows that there are two things essential to the gameplay: units and bases. It’s kind of hard to play without them, which is exactly what happens if you steal the game. After spending valuable and somewhat lengthy amounts of time setting up, all of your units and bases will explode into a fiery mess within thirty seconds of starting the game, leaving you with nothing but a flaming crater where once your hopes and dreams of the game stood. This not only creatively wasted the pirate’s time and energy, but provided them with a brief period of excitement before literally blowing it up in their faces.

Well, we certainly can’t think of anything more fitting! Upon illegally obtaining and booting up the game, pirates literally became pirates, as the character of Alan Wake would don a permanent eye patch throughout the duration of the story, forcing pirates to acknowledge their own thievery while playing the game. As if the constant reminder wasn’t enough, the game would also politely ask you to buy a real copy during the loading screens. While it’s not as harmful or game-ending as the others on this list, it’s certainly hilarious and referential, so much so that Remedy would continue the tradition in their next game, “Quantum Break.”

While CD Projekt RED seems to be mostly on gaming’s good side due to their quality titles and anti-DRM stance, even they aren’t ones to let piracy of their games slide. While their lawsuit-threatening letters to pirates upset many, no one saw issue with their hilarious trolling that was turning the beautiful women of the game into old and wrinkled grandmas. Rather than making love to the gorgeous ladies as he should be, Geralt instead finds himself in the same situation as Jack Torrance from “The Shining” – making out with a leathery and weathered old lady instead. While not as harmful as a good old fashioned lawsuit, this trick was certainly more memorable.

Lesson one of “Banjo-Kazooie.” Do NOT piss off Grunty! If you do, terrible, terrible things will happen to you. Players who decided to cheat during the Sandcastle level found this out the hard way. If too many illegal cheats are entered during this section, like opening note doors or moving obstacles, then you will get a fair but stern warning in which you are told that your game’s save file will be erased if you enter another cheat. If you ignore this warning, the game actually goes through with its threat and your entire save file will be gone when you next boot up the game. The real lesson here? Just don’t cheat. Or piss off Grunty.

In many games, there are always those enemies that are irritating from how hard they are to kill. You got the Iron Knuckle from “The Legend of Zelda”, the Regenerators in “Resident Evil”, and the Xenomorphs from “Aliens vs. Predator”. Developer Croteam took this piece of game design and cranked the difficulty to “Holy crap, this is impossible”, literally. If you are caught playing a cracked copy of “Serious Sam 3”, you will be hunted down by an unkillable Arachnoid. While frightening at first, he will quickly get on your nerves, only provoking you into wasting more ammunition. And we thought the Beheaded Kamikazes were a pain in the ass…

This game is all about speed and precision. Owning a pirated copy encourages some honesty, too. Illegal copies of “Mirror’s Edge” contain an intentional bug in the game where our protagonist, Faith, will slow down before making big leaps across buildings. It’s almost as if she’s having second thoughts on her career path as courier. Think you can just chance your jumps or find a way around it? Fat chance. Quite a number of jumps are crucial for maximum speed in order to progress, making this game practically unbeatable.

If “Doom” has an Ultra-Nightmare difficulty, we cannot describe what “Earthbound” has in store for pirates. Cracked copies are bugged with a near-impossible difficulty curve, where it doesn’t matter how good you are at the game because it will make sure you never finish. From the moment you start playing, the number of enemies you’ll encounter increases to absurd levels, even in areas that shouldn’t have them. If you somehow manage to make it to the end (and find the time to trudge through all the battles), right at the climax of the story, the game will freeze and force you to reset the game. What you’ll come back to will be all your save files deleted, that’s brutal.

One franchise that has fallen victim of frequent cheaters is FromSoftware’s “Souls” series. As if the game wasn’t brutal enough, cheaters have been known for invading other players’ games and kill off their characters with status-afflicting weapons. Now, cheating isn’t a crime, but that doesn’t mean we can’t treat it as such in the game industry. Many games have what they call “prison servers”, and “Dark Souls 2” follows suit of that. However, there is a twist. Bandai Namco will let you keep your crummy, game-breaking weapons, but the only people you can encounter invasions from are other cheaters. Did we call this a prison? Sounds more like a private hell.

Croteam strikes again in this puzzle game about an android on a quest to enlightenment. Between maze running and locating sigil pieces, you’ll get to enjoy the phenomenal high-speed thrill of…elevator rides, which serve as points of relief in-between stages. Pirates, beware because Croteam is just as cruel as our irritating arachnoid friend. Cracked copies are equipped with a trap. At some point during one of the elevator rides, the elevator will stop with no chances of escape! As usual, pirates took to the forums and tried to make it sound like legit copies were getting this bug. Nice try, guys.

Before we found the assortment of bugs in “Batman: Arkham Knight”, we got to experience an anti-piracy bug in the first game of the Arkham series back in 2009. After taking out a room of enemies, you must glide across while avoiding the poison gas. For pirates, this challenge is too damn hard since the ability to glide is non-existent. Upon discovering this, one pirate made the idiotic mistake of revealing himself by going to the official Eidos message board and asking about the bug. The answer he got was a simple phrase that fits with this entire list, “It’s not a bug in the game’s code; it’s a bug in your moral code.”

We’ve seen some good ideas on this list so far, but you can always count on the classic glitch of wonky controls and, more notably, an incredibly drunk cameraman. What you get is camerawork worse than that of a typical action movie. Just from watching footage alone, it’s easy for us to get nauseated and disoriented. To make matters worse, vehicles will start smoking as soon as you hop in and will only be able to be driven in one direction. Just like our friend from “Batman: Arkham Asylum”, pirates went online to the developers asking about a “bug”. When will they learn?

As a badass soldier, all you want to do is unload all bullets into your soon-to-be-swiss-cheese enemies. But, you know what’s even better? Shooting chickens that do absolutely no damage. Not to worry, pirates. “Crysis Warhead” is still in a beatable condition, but, like “Earthbound”, you’re gonna end up pulling your hair out from the time it takes to beat and how many times you will most likely die. Progress will only be achieved if you put up your dukes and punch your way through like Brock Lesnar taking on a bison stampede.

One of the most hilarious parts of “The Sims 4” is through its self-censorship. If a Sim chooses to use the toilet or shower, their body will be heavily pixelated. But, have you ever found a glitch where that pixilation never recedes? Well, congratulations pirate! You have illegally downloaded “The Sims 4”. Now, witness as your game gradually transforms into a large masterpiece of abstract pixel art. The only way to fix it? There isn’t, making it hard to play and figure out what the heck your Sims are doing. What makes matters worse is that players tried reporting this as a bug in legitimate copies before it was proven otherwise. How many times has this happened now?

Ever wondered what the definition of irony was? Look no further than “Game Dev Tycoon”, a business simulator that lets you run your very own game studio. You’ll learn how to deal with fan feedback, critic reviews, and managing costs on projects and contracts. Should you not want to chip in the insanely cheap ten dollars, you’ll get an exclusive challenge in an illegal copy of the game; praying that your games aren’t pirated. If such a thing were to happen, you will receive a message informing you of the situation, causing your studio to go bankrupt and shutdown. The real kicker? Some pirates dared asked if it was possible to include Copy Protection in their games. To them we say: (You are a pirate song)