Top 20 Movie Insults We Use In Real-Life

Top 20 Movie Insults We Use All the Time

Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we’re counting down our picks for the most iconic movie insults to use in everyday situations.

#20: “You’re a Virgin Who Can’t Drive”
“Clueless” (1995)

Want to cut to the heart of someone? Call them a virgin and make fun of their lack of driving habits. It’s as easy as that! It certainly cuts to the heart of poor Cher, as Tai preys on her deepest insecurities and vulnerabilities. Brittany Murphy’s delivery of the line is brilliantly scathing, and Cher’s tear-filled reaction speaks volumes. Way harsh, indeed. The line has been immortalized in pop culture, appearing on various pieces of merchandise and being widely shared on social media in the form of GIFs and memes.


#19: “There’s Nothing More Pathetic Than an Aging Hipster”
“Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery” (1997)

If there’s one thing that many people are insecure about, it’s their age. It’s a touchy subject, and, man, does Dr. Evil take full advantage of it. His target is Austin Powers, a man perpetually stuck in the late 1960s. Granted, he was frozen in time, so he has an excuse. But his fashion, sensibilities, and casual misogyny are way outdated come the ‘90s, and Dr. Evil attacks like a bloodthirsty shark. His words clearly cut deep, as Austin, an otherwise fun-loving and shoulder-shrugging kinda guy, takes great offense. Who doesn’t wish to use this when the situation arises?

#18: “Keep the Change, Ya Filthy Animal”
“Home Alone” (1990)

Ok, no, we don’t actually say this while we’re tipping someone, and we hope you don’t either! But come on, who amongst us hasn’t said that to a friend or family member? Especially around the holidays, when “Home Alone” is fresh in the mind? The famous insult comes via Johnny, the fictional gangster in the violent movie that Kevin watches. It’s not only Johnny’s signature quip, but one of the most iconic lines in the entire movie. It’s a part of the cultural lexicon, and it was even made into a song by American rock band All Time Low.


#17: “That’s Because It’s on You, Dear”
“Sleeping Beauty” (1959)

You hear “Sleeping Beauty,” you expect the zinger to come from Maleficent. While she certainly has a few good ones in her repertoire, this one comes courtesy of Flora, the leader of the Three Good Fairies. Merryweather tries on Aurora’s dress-in-progress but isn’t happy with the result, claiming that it “looks awful.” Flora’s response is so blazing hot that someone should call the fire department. Seriously, the casual meanness of this remark is just extraordinary. Of course, that hasn’t stopped people from repeating it. In a joking manner, of course. Right? Right?


#16: “You Sit On a Throne of Lies”
“Elf” (2003)

Everyone has thrown out this iconic line at least once in their lives. Buddy is expecting the real Santa to appear at Gimbels, but he’s disappointed to find that it’s just some random guy. Instead of letting the matter go, or realizing that he has been hired to impersonate Santa, he confronts the man in front of all the children. The result is movie history, with Will Ferrell delivering one brilliant insult after another. This is the best one of course, a remark that will be repeated every Christmas season from now until the end of time.


#15: “If My Dog Was Ugly as You, I’d Shave His Butt and Tell Him to Walk Backwards”
“The Sandlot” (1993)

The “you’re so ugly” joke is ancient, with countless iterations and creative punchlines. One of the best we’ve heard comes via “The Sandlot,” a coming-of-age comedy about kids finding friendship through baseball. The Sandlot kids play a Little League team, and the insults are tossed around faster than the baseball. Most of the good ones come via Ham Porter, who confronts the batters from his position as catcher. He’s a master at this kind of thing, with the magnificent dog insult standing out from the pack. It’s the type of creative insult you hope to craft yourself one day.


#14: “If I Wanted a Joke, I’d Follow You into the John and Watch You Take a Leak”
“Planes, Trains and Automobiles” (1987)

A lot of men are insecure about one thing. We’ll give you three guesses as to what. Steve Martin is a master of the off-handed insult, with most of his characters being sarcastic jerks. One of the meanest is Neal Page, the grumpy executive from “Planes, Trains and Automobiles”. And while most of his scathing retort is aimed squarely at Del Griffith, his target this time is a cab dispatcher who’s just trying to help. The insult wipes the smile off the cabbie’s face, and it’s enough to get Neal a nice knuckle sandwich. It’s a good insult, we’ll grant him, but that punch was a long time coming.


#13: “If I Gave You Any Thought, I Probably Would”
“Casablanca” (1942)

There’s a very famous scene from “Mad Men” in which Don Draper tells Ginsberg that he never thinks about him. It’s a great sequence, but what some people may not realize is that it’s an iteration on a comeback that came seven decades earlier. It’s delivered by the legendary Rick Blaine, the protagonist of “Casablanca.” Ugarte asks Rick if he despises him, to which Rick volleys back one of the greatest insults in movie history. It’s not only ice cold, but it’s one of the greatest lines in a script full of bangers.


#12: “No. The Definition of the Word Idiot, Which You (Bleeping) Are!”
“Kiss Kiss Bang Bang” (2005)

The “look up x in a dictionary” joke is as old as…well, dictionaries, probably. But leave it to Shane Black to subvert the formula and deliver one of its greatest punchlines in the process. The line is just beyond brilliant, and it’s delivered with impeccable comedic timing by Val Kilmer. It has certainly been repeated by fans of the movie, usually at the expense of a good friend who has done something particularly stupid. Even people who haven’t seen the movie know this line through sheer cultural osmosis. It’s just that good.



#11: “You Are Literally Too Stupid to Insult”
“The Hangover” (2009)

Everyone loves sending a good insult to their silly friends, and this may be one of the very best. It’s masterfully delivered by Ed Helms, as Stu is insulting the generally absent-minded Alan. Stu sarcastically remarks that he can’t remember anything because of the roofies that Alan gave them. Alan doesn’t quite get it and proclaims that memory loss is a side effect of roofie intake. It’s then that the disbelieving Stu delivers his fantastic comeback, which is capped by Alan’s simple and hilarious “thank you.” We don’t know what’s funnier - the insult itself, or Alan’s response to it.


#10: “To Call You Stupid Would Be an Insult to Stupid People!”
“A Fish Called Wanda” (1988)

John Cleese and Charles Crichton received an Oscar nomination for writing this comedy, and it’s all thanks to this single line. OK, not really, but we wouldn’t be surprised if it played a big role! This insult has John Cleese written all over it, being very dry and portraying his trademark British wit. It’s such a simple bit of trash talk, but sometimes the simplest things are the best things. And not only is it a great line, but Jamie Lee Curtis sells it with absolute conviction. Try as we might, we just can’t recapture her passion when we say it.


#9: “You’re a Fat Loser and You Have Body Odor”
“School of Rock” (2003)

A major reason for “School of Rock’s” success is its incredible cast of child actors, including Robert Tsai as Lawrence, AKA Mr. Cool. Lawrence is the quiet one in class, which only makes his insult cut that much deeper. Dewey tries getting the class angry enough to write a rock song, so he asks them to tell him off. What follows are pretty generic attacks, none of which seem to hurt. That is, until Lawrence rocks Schneebly with a wounding remark from the back of the room. You couldn’t step foot in a 2003 classroom without hearing this.


#8: “You’re So Ugly, You Could Be a Modern Art Masterpiece”
“Full Metal Jacket” (1987)

While the entire film is obviously great, most people remember “Full Metal Jacket” for its first half, in which Gunnery Sergeant Hartman scares the boys into shape. Hartman is played by R. Lee Ermey, who was a real Marine Corps drill instructor in the 1960s. A good chunk of Hartman’s dialogue was either written or improvised by Ermey, who obviously had tons of experience insulting recruits. His affronts are simply extraordinary, both wildly creative and superbly delivered. Most of them are directed at poor Leonard Lawrence, including this ingenious bit of humiliation. We don’t know how the cast kept a straight face.


#7: “You Stuck-Up, Half-Witted, Scruffy-Looking Nerf Herder!”
“Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back” (1980)

There isn’t a “Star Wars” fan who hasn’t said this at least once in their lives. It’s just too good to pass up. Princess Leia goes for Han’s throat, unleashing one of the greatest bits of slander in movie history. It’s a non-stop barrage of scorn, but of course, it all comes from the heart, we think. The words themselves are amusing, but it’s Carrie Fisher’s performance that really drives the point home, each word more angrily pronounced than the last. Of course, Han takes it mostly in stride, only taking offense to the “scruffy looking” comment.


#6: “What You’ve Just Said Is One of the Most Insanely Idiotic Things I Have Ever Heard”
“Billy Madison” (1995)

We’ve all seen that feel good drama where the protagonist makes an impassioned speech, impresses all in the crowd, and is met with enthusiastic cheers and a standing ovation. Well, this isn’t that kind of movie. Billy is asked to explain how the Industrial Revolution changed the modern novel. He, not knowing anything about literature or the Industrial Revolution, gives a rambling response that doesn’t make a lick of sense. He only gets a cheer by mentioning the school’s football team, and the moderator unleashes one of the greatest takedowns we’ve ever heard. We’re still quoting it to this day.


#5: “You Are a Sad, Strange Little Man and You Have My Pity”
“Toy Story” (1995)

Buzz Lightyear is a legendary character, spouting many classic lines and being voiced to perfection by Tim Allen. Writing and vocal talent combine in this splendid insult, which is aimed at Woody after he has his meltdown. As kids, this line didn’t seem so funny and never really stood out. We preferred Woody’s iconic, “you are a toy”. The wild arm gestures probably have something to do with that. But the older we get, the funnier this line becomes, and you better believe that we quote it more often than we probably should.


#4: “I’ll Explain, and I’ll Use Small Words So That You’ll Be Sure to Understand”
“The Princess Bride” (1987)

As mean as it is to say, this quote is fantastic in the right context. It’s also guaranteed to get a laugh, even if the target hasn’t seen “Princess Bride”. This cult classic is widely acclaimed for its script, and many of its lines have become famous in the general pop culture lexicon. It was even named the 84th best screenplay of all time by the Writers Guild of America, which may have been aided by its sheer meme-worthiness. It’s hard for specific quotes to stand out when seemingly every line is a winner, but this fun bit of trash talk manages to do it.


#3: “You Know, Morons”
“Blazing Saddles” (1974)

Comedies don’t get more acclaimed than “Blazing Saddles.” It’s in the National Film Registry, it was nominated for three Oscars, and it was eventually named the sixth funniest movie of all time by the American Film Institute. The screenplay is particularly noteworthy, being written by icons like Mel Brooks and Richard Pryor. Gene Wilder delivers one of the best jibes in movie history, disparaging the common folk of the American frontier. And we have to say, it’s a perfect insult to use when the situation calls for it. Cleavon Little certainly thought it was funny, judging by that genuine laugh.


#2: “Take Your Stinking Paws off Me, You Damn Dirty Ape!”
“Planet of the Apes” (1968)

Franklin J. Schaffner’s masterpiece is known for a few things - the ape makeup, the famous twist ending, and of course, this endlessly quotable bit of dialogue. It’s easily one of the most popular lines in all of cinema, and it has undoubtedly been parroted by millions throughout the preceding decades. Of course, it’s also been warped and misquoted throughout the years, as well. It’s “take your stinking paws off me,” not “get,” and it’s just a simple “damn” instead of the more popular “damned”. Regardless, it’s been a pop culture mainstay since the movie’s release in 1968, and we can see why - it’s a damn good line.


#1: “I Fart in Your General Direction!”
“Monty Python and the Holy Grail” (1975)

If there was a record for most quoted movie of all time, it would probably go to “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”. It’s considered one of the funniest comedies ever made, and its script is the stuff of legend, much like the Holy Grail itself. Every line is quotable, including this renowned insult spoken by John Cleese. It doesn’t matter if you actually farted - the quote is still hilarious, and it’s guaranteed to get a laugh every single time. Everyone loves a good fart joke, and this is one of the best.


Do you have any other movie insults you pull out on occasion? Let us know in the comments below!