WatchMojo

Login Now!

OR   Sign in with Google   Sign in with Facebook
advertisememt

Top 20 Funniest Movie Insults of All Time

Top 20 Funniest Movie Insults of All Time
VOICE OVER: Rebecca Brayton
Man, that had to hurt. For this list, we'll be looking at the most brutal and hilarious insults ever uttered on screen. Our list includes insults from “Mean Girls” (2004), “Ghostbusters” (1984), “South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut” (1999)“Bridesmaids” (2011), “Office Space” (1999), and more! Join WatchMojo as we count down our picks for the Top 20 Funniest Movie Insults of All Time.

Check out the voting page for this list and add your picks: https://WatchMojo.comsuggest/Top%20Ten%20Movie%20Insults. Special thanks to our users Mattyhull1, Sam Ricketts, perryhigh, Andrew A. Dennison, aldqbigsquare and Alex Johnson for suggesting this idea!

#20: “Have Fun Having a Baby at Your Prom”


“Bridesmaids” (2011)



Kristen Wiig’s Annie is already having a bit of a rough day, so when a teenage girl comes into her jewellery shop looking for a friendship necklace, Annie can’t help but chime in that sometimes friendship doesn’t last forever. The young girl responds by calling her weird, which kicks off an unforgettable insult-ridden back and forth. It’s hard to choose a favourite line from this hysterical exchange, but when Annie asks about the girl’s boyfriends, well… let’s just say things get pretty inappropriate from then on. This side-splitting argument may have gotten her fired, but it kept the audience in stitches and gave us some very quotable moments.



#19: “Ram It”


“In the Loop” (2009)



If you take away nothing else from this Oscar-nominated political satire, it’s that folks in suits aren’t exactly paragons of virtue. The story follows the fevered activities of British and American political pundits as they navigate a potential Middle-East invasion. One such figure, Malcolm Tucker, is the Director of Communications for the British Prime Minister, and boy does he communicate. The bulk of his dialogue is profanity-laden, even when he’s seemingly not that upset. And in one scene, simply discussing departmental responsibilities with his colleague Judy is enough to send him on a flowery tirade. Judy is not impressed though, and almost outshines him with this effortless comeback.



#18: “Cherub-Looking”


“21 Jump Street” (2012)



In this film adaptation of the popular ‘80s TV show, Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum play Schmidt and Jenko, rookie cops who are recruited to infiltrate a high school and sniff out a drug ring. But before they step foot onto the school’s campus, they have to get a briefing from their Chief of Police, who also happens to be played by a delightfully angry Ice Cube. When he tries to warn the undercover cops that getting romantically involved with the students is off limits, he’s obviously targeting Jenko but Schmidt hilariously misunderstands. The captain savagely shuts him down and throws this classic burn his way. There’s nothing quite like getting insulted by a former N.W.A. member playing a cop.



#17: “Your Mom’s Chest Hair”


“Mean Girls” (2004)



“Mean Girls” taught us a lot of things. Like, how to properly catalogue a burn book. Or like the rules of feminism. But most importantly, it taught us how to expertly clap back at bullies, thanks to the pure genius of Janis Ian. The resident goth girl and former best friend of popular girl Regina George, Janis is frequently the target of errant abuse from random students. But that doesn’t mean she can’t deliver in the insult department herself. When one student throws a jab at her while she’s having a conversation with Cady, she doesn’t miss a beat throwing one right back. The ease with which she absolutely destroys this bully is something we can’t help but admire.



#16: “Take This Quarter”


“Uncle Buck” (1989)



In this classic ‘80s comedy, John Candy plays Buck, a man who’s tasked with watching his nieces and nephew in the midst of a family emergency. As he adjusts to life as a temporary parental unit, he hits a few bumps in the road. When he’s called into a meeting with the assistant principal at his youngest niece’s school, their encounter seems doomed from the start as Buck can’t stop referencing the mole on her chin. After she calls his 6-year old niece a bad egg, Buck doesn’t hold himself back in defending Maizy and makes a comment about the obvious growth protruding from the woman’s face. The look of utter shock on her face is priceless and oh-so satisfying.



#15: Teeth on Fire


“Encino Man” (1992)



A teen movie just isn’t a teen movie without a bully, and this movie doesn’t fail to deliver. While the story follows a recently defrosted cave man and his adventures in modern times, it also focuses on the woes of the teenage boy, Dave, who befriends him. Dave is painfully in love with Robyn, but she’s dating the school bully, Matt. Matt uses Dave’s love for Robyn as a constant source of ridicule, and his insults are enough to send even the happiest of kids into an instant depression. So when he sees Dave talking to Robyn, he doesn’t hesitate to put him in his place.



#14: Michael Bolton


“Office Space” (1999)



It’s gotta suck sharing a name with someone you loathe, and probably worse if that person happens to be famous. This ‘90s hit centers on a group of disgruntled employees and their desire for revenge on their employer. While the plot focuses mainly on the story of Peter, the emotionally numb protagonist, there’s also Michael Bolton, who’s got his own set of problems. With a thankless job that’s on the line at a company he hates, being reminded that he also shares a name with a famous singer is enough to give him some major resentment issues. It also leads to some pretty hilarious insults, especially when he discusses the issue with a coworker.



#13: “Get Outta the Road”


“The 40-Year-Old Virgin” (2005)



Sometimes, when you’ve just chased your fleeing girlfriend across town and crashed through a moving billboard in the middle of traffic, you’d like a moment of privacy. Unfortunately for Steve Carell’s character Andy, he’s afforded no such courtesy. After he and his girlfriend get into an argument that sees her bolt from his house, Andy follows her on his bicycle and winds up flat on his back following a tumble through a two-sided sign on the back of a truck. He finally gains the courage to inform his girlfriend that all of their troubles have been connected to his virginity. And just when you think they’re approaching a moment of intimate honesty, a random dude in a car hurls this unforgettable insult their way.



#12: “Really Thirsty”


“Con Air” (1997)



When you’re a convict who’s done his time and is just trying to get back to his wife and estranged daughter, the last thing you want is to be caught up in some plane-bound criminal shenanigans. Nic Cage’s character, Cameron Poe, has boarded a plane with the intention of reuniting with his family after completing an 8-year stint in the clink, but a few of the prisoners on board have other plans. Case in point is Cyrus the Virus, who doesn’t appear particularly fond of one of the less savory prisoners and makes absolutely no pretense about it, describing this serial rapist in the most unpleasant way possible. Hey, even murderers have to have standards.



#11: “Cheap Lying No-Good…”


“National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” (1989)



When you’ve spent the bulk of your professional life working for a boss you can’t stand at a company that you can barely tolerate, you might get a little disgruntled at a less than stellar Christmas bonus, especially when you were planning on using it to put in a swimming pool. And this exact situation was precisely enough to send Chevy Chase’s character on an extended insult-filled tirade aimed at his less-than-generous employer in this holiday comedy. This rant seems to go on forever, and we love every second of it. But what’s most important is that he got it all off his chest and we got to laugh heartily at his unhappiness.



#10: Homeless Shelter


“White Men Can’t Jump” (1992)



This top-class setup and perfect punchline really hits home. No matter how good their competition is on the court, no one stands a chance against Billy Hoyle’s sharp tongue. A trash-talking master, Woody Harrelson’s the bad cop to Wesley Snipes’ good, and this public put-down is jail-worthy. Trying to psyche out the competition into making a mistake, Billy accuses his opponents of throwing up bricks, and throws out a jab that hits way below the belt. Word to the wise, if you really want to hit your opponent where it hurts, drag his mother and sister into it. It’s a priceless play and a savage slam-dunk! It’s also one of many classic ‘yo mama’ jabs in this sports comedy.



#9: “But That’s in Ohio”


“Revenge of the Nerds” (1984)



When the nerd faces off against the jerky jock, we gotta root for the underdog – and when it comes to their classic exchange, we’re sure we picked the right side. When big man on campus Stan Gable rolls up and yells at him from his motorcycle, Dudley “Booger” Dawson casually delivers one of the greatest lines in insult history, to no one in particular. He comes up with this quip so fast it gives us whiplash. It’s just a shame Stan didn’t get to hear it. Though maybe it’s for the best because that surely would not have ended well for Booger.



#8: “Yes It’s True”


“Ghostbusters” (1984)



This verbal low blow is heard loud and proud – by the Mayor of New York, no less. Okay, making the Environmental Protection Agency the bad guy in your movie is a bit of a hot take, but in “Ghostbusters,” that villain is personified by a classic smug ‘80s douche. After Ray gives an irate Walter Peck an unflattering nickname, Pete Venkman uses his dry wit to go straight for the jugular. What makes this line especially funny is how straight-faced Venkman is, knowing that the mayor was most definitely not asking about that part of Ray’s comment. Nothing says “screw you!” like mocking a guy’s manhood – and it gets an appropriate response from Mr. Pecker … uh, Peck, sorry. “If there’s something strange in your neighborhood,” insulting its reproductive organs may be a good idea.





#7: “If My Dog Was as Ugly as You…”


“The Sandlot” (1993)



Ahh, the ugly joke… Will it ever get old? Not for us, and not for Ham Porter. As we learned from White Men Can’t Jump, there is no better way to psych out an opponent than to hit him right in the ego. It helps that Porter’s delivery is spot on as he lowers his voice and heightens the hilarity with this classic quip. A dog can be ugly; its butt even more so. But, if your face is worse than Fido’s shorn derrière, you’re doing something seriously wrong. Porter also goes for another tried and true tactic, bringing up your opponent’s sister, to great results. Take note batters, and take a look in the mirror.



#6: Motivational Insults


“DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story” (2004)



An insult-spouting legend, Patches O’Houilihan strikes comic gold during his terrific team pep talks. The Average Joes with their less-than-average performance are in need of motivation, so this dodgeball legend rolls in to help. However, Patches’ motivational style involves breaking his team down and then building them back up again, letting them know just how inadequate they really are. It also involves sending them out into oncoming traffic and throwing wrenches at them. Questionable as his techniques may be, they work. One of Patches’ more memorable comments compares the team’s running to what happens inside his shorts. Hey, whatever works.



#5: Cartman’s Song


“South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut” (1999)



After Mrs. Broflovski complains about the negative influence TV has on kids and wages war on Terrance and Phillip’s home country of Canada, Eric Cartman has had enough. When he can’t hold it in anymore, his rage bursts forth in the form of an unforgettable song and dance number that crosses lines of decency with every verse. It’s so catchy; Cartman even gets some backup from his schoolyard chums. Cartman’s stand is hilariously rude, a rise against parents and a teenage anthem. To top it all off, Kyle’s mom arrives just in time to catch the end of the song. We can’t imagine she loved it…



#4: Questionable Living Arrangements


“Parenthood” (1989)



Ah young love: at one moment, it can burn as brightly as the sun. The next moment, it can turn sour. But rarely is that downward spiral expressed so eloquently and with such pizazz as in this film. After Tod breaks Julie’s heart, he bursts through the door to apologize and declare his love. However, he’s quickly sent packing with a ringing in his ears. Julie sums up her disdain for him in the harshest way possible. Sharp and with sizzle, it’s a very harsh prize put-down – and the fact that’s it’s said to Keanu Reeves is just icing on the cake.



#3: “Smelly Pirate”


“Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy” (2004)



Ron is furious after Veronica reads the news while he’s trapped in a glass case of emotion, and the two don’t handle their mutual anger well. They can’t seem to be near each other without verbally sparring. When Veronica cuts in on Ron’s tv time to watch a tape, the two engage in a war of words that has us crying with laughter. Undeterred by the watching crowd, the anchorman confidently delivers his zingers with a steely eye and stiff upper lip – mustachioed as it may be. Ms. Corningstone gets some comebacks in there, but we barely heard them we were laughing so hard at the pirate hooker thing. Unfortunately, Ron did and let’s just say he didn’t take it too well.



#2: “May God Have Mercy on Your Soul”


“Billy Madison” (1995)



Fresh off a speech that leaves the crowd cheering comes a judicial jibe that cuts deep. Fan-favorite Billy at his moment of triumph is hit with a long and eloquent insult so hilariously hyperbolized it leaves us as shell-shocked as Sandler’s character. The combination of the harsh words and the ultra-cool delivery ensures that this sentiment shall not be forgotten. The added touch of ‘may God have mercy on your soul’ really pushes this speech over the line, making it all the more comically harsh. The laughs don’t stop there though, as Billy’s response makes us laugh even harder. Way to cut a man down in his moment of glory!



Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions



“A Mouth like That”

“Caddyshack” (1980)



Jive Turkey

“Semi-Pro” (2008)



Chewed Bubble Gum

“Full Metal Jacket” (1987)



Barry Manilow

“The Breakfast Club” (1985)



Ice Cream Flavor

“Wayne’s World” (1992)



#1: French Taunter


“Monty Python and the Holy Grail” (1975)



Monty Python’s French Taunter has heckled his way to the top – and deservedly so. A warrior of words with a certain je ne sais quoi, he sits atop the castle wall and awaits a time when he’s able to give passing English monarchs what for! But the cream of the crop when it comes to his verbal sparring? It’s a taunt from the turrets that will stand the test of time. Every last word he says is endlessly quote-worthy. Decades may have passed since this classic film came out, but we still have yet to hear a better insult than ‘I fart in your general direction’.

Comments
advertisememt