Top 20 Worst Things Stan Smith Has Done on American Dad
#20: Faked Family Vacation “The Vacation Goo”
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When the Smith family go on vacation, it looks like a pretty good time. Except it turns out it’s all fake. Francine, Hayley, and Steve discover themselves in artificial memory chambers that Stan places them in every year to make it seem like the family is having a great vacation. Stan’s reason for doing this? His idea of a vacation is being away from his family. That’s pretty bad, but it definitely gets worse because Stan drugs his family to place them in the chambers. Not only does he deceive his family but it’s heavily implied that Hayley suffers some adverse health effects from being exposed to the goo in the chambers.
#19: Convincing Francine She Killed Her Friend “Four Little Words”
Stan can’t stand being called out by Francine with, “I told you so”, so when she believes setting up a date between her friend, Melinda, and Stan’s boss, Bullock, won’t work, he does everything to prove her wrong. A complication arises when Bullock accidentally kills Melinda thinking she’s a terrorist. Since Francine can’t know that the date ended poorly, to say the least, Stan makes it look like Francince killed Melinda. Francine's so distraught over what she thinks she’s done that leaves for India to help the less fortunate. Stan eventually comes clean and she rightfully chews him out for the torment and anguish he caused her.
#18: Giving Steve a Gun For Christmas “For Whom the Sleigh Bell Tolls”
Stan wants to get Steve a gun. When he tells Francine, she says that it’s dangerous and makes him promise that he won’t buy one for their son. Of course, Stan ignores his promise and Steve one anyway. He doesn’t teach Steve how to responsibly use it and, in a mall parking lot, he makes Steve fire it at a snowman resulting in someone dying. Does Stan show any concern about what happened or how this will impact Steve? No, he’s more worried about Francine finding out he gave Steve a gun.
#17: Capturing Mom’s Boyfriends “Oedipal Panties”
Stan might have an unhealthy relationship with his mother. It’s not super common to get in the bath with your mom and wash her but that’s what Stan does. Francine and Roger decide to set Betty up with Hercules but all the previous men she’s dated haven’t lasted past the third date. Roger decides to contact previous dates to find out what happened and discovers all of them are missing. At first they think she’s a black widow but the truth is Stan has been kidnapping the men and placing them on a remote island for the past 35 years. It’s unbelievably cruel.
#16: Brainwashing Hayley to Be a Sleeper Agent “Haylias”
Hayley’s been having a recurring dream and she believes it’s a sign that she’s expected to conform to societal expectations of marrying and having kids. Not wanting that life, she decides to move to France to live a carefree life. It’s revealed that when Hayley was a kid, she was in a sleeper agent program and her programming can be activated with the trigger phrase. In a last ditch effort to stop her, Stan uses the phrase to control her. It’s a complete intrusion of her autonomy and free will by Stan because he thinks she should live a traditional life.
#15: Almost Taking Steve’s Virginity With an Avatar “Virtual In-Stanity”
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After nearly missing Steve’s birthday, Stan comes to realize he’s missed many events in his son’s life. As a way to connect with Steve, he decides to do so with an avatar named Phyllis, which he controls remotely. It’s certainly an inventive way to get closer with your son. However, Steve begins to lose interest in Phyllis and instead starts taking a liking to Chelsea and plans to ask her to homecoming. Desperate, Stan, as Phyllis, states if Steve goes to the dance with Phyllis, the two can be intimate. It’s definitely an unexpected turn that even Bullock is shocked when he finds out about it. Stan would have gone through with the deed but thankfully Francine shows up and talks him out of it.
#14: Putting His Family in Poverty “Failure Is Not a Factory-Installed Option”
Francine wants a new car and when Stan goes to negationate at the dealership with Felix, he ends up overpaying for something he didn’t want. It gets to the point where Stan feels so ashamed that he abandons his family because he doesn’t feel worthy to be in their presence. This puts his family in dire financial straits. Francine and Hayley become house cleaners to make money and they can’t afford to clean themselves or their clothes. It turns out Stan leaving his family was a ploy to get a discount on the car Francine originally wanted. Putting your family through hardships is obviously terrible but Stan didn’t even get that good a deal.
#13: Wiping His Family’s Memory “Father’s Daze”
Father’s Day is supposed to be Stan’s day but his family forgot all about the holiday. They decide to celebrate Stan after the fact in order to make it up to him. He gives Hayley, Steve and Francine instructions on what exactly to do for his special day. After being convinced by Roger that the family’s effort was subpar, Stan wipes their memory so everyone can redo their tasks. Stan keeps wiping their memory until he gets the perfect Father’s Day. It’s another instance of him removing his family’s agency for his own selfish desires. Perhaps worst of all is that he’s kept them in this loop for six months and that’s on top of berating them when they find out what he’s been doing.
#12: Ruining Brett’s Life “Dope & Faith”
In search of a friend, Stan comes across Brett after praying to God. The pair become inseparable, doing many activities together. It’s a match made in heaven until Brett reveals that he doesn’t believe in God. Stan tries to prove that God is real because he fears that Brett won’t get into heaven. When that doesn’t work he destroys Brett’s life believing that if his life is in shambles he’ll turn to God. Stan blows up his house, ruins his restaurant and has his family leave him. Certain Brett will convert, he instead attempts to take his own life. Stan gets his wish as Brett now believes but also makes a pact with Satan.
#11: Injuring Steve “Next of Pin”
Worried that Steve may one day kill him, Stan decides he needs to spend more time with his son. The two bond over bowling once it’s discovered Steve is a natural at the sport. Eventually, Steve’s skill gets him noticed by a coach who can advance his career as a bowler. When Steve is on the cusp of qualifying for the pro tour, a disguised Stan stabs Steve in the ankle ending his career. Steve figures out it was his father who was responsible and is upset. Stan explains that he felt he was gonna lose Steve which is why he did what he did. Stan’s fear is understandable but you can’t stab your problems away.
#10: Blinding Himself & Admitting to Only Marrying Francine for Her Looks “Shallow Vows”
There’s no denying that Francine’s a beautiful woman, and Stan’s a very lucky man to have married her. Before they renew their vows, however, Stan reveals to Francine that her looks are all that matter to him. Angered by this, Francine forgoes her daily beauty regime, showing how shallow Stan can be. Not one to be deterred, Stan does what he believes is righteous… and blinds himself. He wants his marriage to work so bad, but openly admits Francine is so disgusting he had no choice but to blind himself. Talk about not being able to see beauty on the inside.
#9: Tormenting the Formerly Human Klaus “Da Flippity Flop”
Stan will do anything for his country, and after the USA Olympic skiing team was threatened by Klaus' talent, the CIA opted to swap the German athlete’s brain with that of a fish. Stan then took the now-aquatic German into his home. Now a harmless goldfish may not seem too terrible at first, but Stan has done nothing but torture Klaus in his own home - ignoring him, silencing him, and even refusing to give Klaus his body back after the whole ordeal. Not like it would matter too much anyway, since thanks to Stan’s incompetence, Klaus’s body is useless now.
#8: Evicting His Entire Neighborhood Because They Made Fun of Him “I Can’t Stan You”
We all have neighbors that gossip behind our backs, make jokes and point out our flaws… but for Stan he just doesn’t understand how someone may or may not always like him. After spying on his neighbors, he finds nothing he does will make them love him, so he does what any regular CIA agent with extreme insecurities would do… evict everyone in the neighborhood. Of course, his own family is no exception, and he’s more than willing to do the same to them. We’d hate to see what he would do if they were mean right to his face...
#7: Becoming Steve’s Tormentor “Bully for Steve”
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Steve is not exactly the athletic type, or courageous, or outgoing, or popular . . . the list goes on. So what’s the best method to help build up your nerd son? Becoming their tormentor of course! That’s right, Steve’s own father goes out of his way to antagonize Steve in hope of turning him into a man. Bothering him in and out of school, Stan becomes even less of the father figure he was, turning into nothing more than a nightmare for Steve. It’s only through the help of someone tougher that Stan is taken down a peg; and while we don’t condone this action, we think Stan deserves this.
#6: Abandoning Francine & Hayley to a Vengeful Roger “Great Space Roaster”
Stan’s relationship with his family has always been questionable to say the least, but his devotion truly comes into question during what looks to be their final moments. After a roast gone wrong sends their vengeful alien companion Roger out for blood, the Smiths escape to a space station -only to be chased down and hunted in a sci-fi thriller style. When Francine and Hayley plead for Stan to help, he turns tail and runs to the nearest escape pod. He displays zero empathy for what he believes to be their demise, concerned only with his own safety.
#5: Murdering the Clones of Teenage Girls “Steve & Snot’s Test-Tubular Adventure”
Stan’s done plenty of damage to his own children, but to kill Steve’s raised clone was taking it a bit far. After Steve used the DNA of a girl to create clones, he raised her from a child into a young woman; and while it was the intent to have intercourse with her, he began to see her in a fatherly light. Stan however sees the cloned girls as nothing more than reasons to get him fired by the CIA, and elects to kill the two. While the clones are revealed to have only lasted a brief time, it’s pretty sadistic to see Stan kill two young girls who the two boys became attached to.
#4: Running a Sweatshop “American Dream Factory”
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Stan doesn’t really understand the plight of illegal immigrants, or labor laws ...or common decency. When his dream of holiday-themed bears hitting the store shelves seems out of reach, out comes a ray of hope in the form of Hayley’s boyfriend: an illegal immigrant who can sew up bears in record time. Not thinking much of them, Stan employs the boy and his family to make up the bears he needs, with little-to-no time for themselves, and wages that would borderline slavery. To make matters worse, Stan sees this as him giving these people a better chance at life, and not as the sweatshop it truly is.
#3: Racially Profiling His Neighbors & Locking Them Up “Homeland Insecurity”
Stan’s a racist, plain and simple, and it’s not exactly well-hidden. When Francine invites the new Iranian neighbors, his ignorance comes out in full blast, frisking them and even refusing to listen to them. Not satisfied until he finds proof, he begins to spy on them; and when that doesn’t work, he locks them up in a self-made detention center in his backyard. Of course, you might wonder how all his neighbors would put up with his behavior, until he locks them in there too. Stubborn and ignorant to the very end, this is one episode where Stan doesn’t even learn his lesson.
#2: Stealing Greg & Terry’s Baby “Surro-Gate”
Stan is a right-wing extremist nut; and while he has opened up a teensy bit more each season, his mind remains shut tight on many aspects of modernity — including a gay couple having children. When Francine carries Greg and Terry’s child, Stan feigns concern, only to kidnap the baby immediately after she is born. Still in complete denial that two people of the same sex can raise a child properly, he even kidnaps another same-sex couple’s children to take them to an orphanage, where MAYBE someday they’ll be adopted by a straight couple. How this man even raised his own children is… oh wait, yeah he did a terrible job with that too.
#1: Putting Francine in a Psychiatric Ward to Stall for Time “American Fung”
Francine’s probably put up with the worst from Stan, from being shot in the arm, to repressing any idea she presented that might change their lifestyle; how she stays married to him after 20+ years is a mystery. Forgetting their anniversary yet again, Stan decides he would rather commit her to a psychiatric hospital and only then come up with an idea for a present than hear her nag at him again. This would already be horrible enough, if it weren’t for the fact that he forgets he left her in there, and then gives her a bucket of fried chicken as a “gift”. We gotta agree with Francine on this one.
