Top 20 Worst Things Eric Cartman Has Ever Done On South Park

"Cartman's Incredible Gift"

Have you ever seen those old clips that show people trying to fly with giant wings attached to their arms? Cartman tried the same thing and landed himself in the hospital. The police mistake his insight for being psychic and from there, Eric puts on a show. Cartman spends the rest of the episode using food fantasies as fake psychic predictions to garner favor and fame with law enforcement. It isn’t the worst thing he’s ever done, but it does illustrate just how badly he wants to feel far more important than he really is. Through his selfishness, innocent people are arrested while the guilty roam free.

"Tsst"

Cesar Millan is a highly respected dog trainer who just so happens to get a job helping Cartman’s mom tame her son. Millan’s success with Eric comes from treating him in the same fashion as he does his canine customers. Liane only turns to him after “Nanny 911” and “Supernanny” fail miserably to curtail Cartman’s behavior. We’ve always known that Eric isn’t keen on any kind of discipline, but spitting on someone, or driving them into a mental institution brings his neurotic behavior to a whole new level. It’s unfortunate Millan’s treatment didn’t last very long.

"A Ladder to Heaven"

One of the running gags in Season Six was that Kenny’s soul was stuck inside of Cartman. After seemingly dying for good near the end of Season Five, we learned later he had been cremated. Cartman mistakenly thinks Kenny’s ashes are chocolate milk powder and mixes them into a drink. Unlike many of the other entries on this list, consuming Kenny may have been horrific, but at least it wasn’t intentional. Given the fact that far more outrageous things have been done in the real world, it’s at least not as far-fetched as other things on this list.

"Probably"

Early in the show’s run, “South Park” did a two-part episode focusing on how religious leaders can use fear to coerce young people into church. Scared of ending up in hell, Cartman appears to start his own church to try and “help” his fellow classmates. All is not as it seems, however. After seeing a televangelist solicit money from his parishioners, Cartman starts asking his followers to give a dollar every time they attend. It’s all one giant scam as we see Cartman literally rolling around in his money. Forever obsessed with finding cash, we learn just how far he’ll go to snag one more greenback.

"Best Friends Forever"

If there’s one thing we’ve learned about Cartman over the years, it’s that he is undeniably selfish. This is on full display when Kenny gets his hands on a PlayStation Portable, which drives Cartman to show his true colors. After Kenny ends up in a coma, Cartman insists the game system should go to him. In a nod to the Terri Schiavo case, Cartman pretends to want to ease Kenny’s suffering by taking him off life support after being hit by an ice cream truck. Cartman has no interest in helping Kenny. All he wants is the video game machine, and we learn quickly he’s willing to literally kill for it. Now that’s downright cold!

"With Apologies to Jesse Jackson"

When this episode comes up in conversation, it’s usually about Randy’s terrible guess on “Wheel of Fortune.” But there’s a whole side plot around Cartman’s treatment of a sensitivity spokesperson named David Nelson. As a Little Person, Cartman stops at nothing to poke fun at Nelson’s disability. Laughing at the way he speaks, walks, and interacts, Cartman never once thinks of the consequences of what he’s saying. Even when Nelson gets the kids to call Eric fat, he still doesn’t see the irony in his behavior. They ultimately end up in a playground brawl, to which Cartman still finds himself laughing at all of it.

"Casa Bonita"

It’s Kyle’s birthday and for his party, he’s taking his friends to the famed Casa Bonita restaurant. Being Cartman’s favorite, he’s immediately psyched to be going, only to have his dream shattered when Kyle tells him Butters is coming instead. Cartman proceeds to trap Butters in a bomb shelter, all so he’ll miss the party, and Kyle will bring Cartman along instead. It’s yet another prime example of how Eric’s selfish behavior is truly dangerous to those around him. All he’s concerned about is getting what he wants, and doing anything within his power to make that happen.

"HumancentiPad"

After pretending to have an iPad, Cartman is dismayed when his mother refuses to buy him a brand new one. Now feeling that his mom has screwed him over, he proceeds to publicly shame her in the worst possible way. His use of colorful language to describe her actions immediately evokes the wrong kind of reaction from those around him. Appearing on Dr. Phil, he uses the same choice of words which to everyone else implies he was abused in some fashion. The worst part is that he clearly knows what people think he’s talking about and continues to proliferate a false narrative about what has happened.

"Cherokee Hair Tampons"

Ten million dollars was his price tag. Kyle needed a kidney and Cartman was the only compatible donor. Even with as much disdain as Eric has shown Kyle, you would have thought he’d have a little bit of compassion for the boy. Instead, he was content to see Kyle suffer and almost die as a result of his kidney difficulties. Although Cartman’s true dark side wouldn’t emerge for another season, this was definitely a stepping stone in that direction. It’s made worse when you see how far Stan is willing to go to save his friend, all while Eric sits on the side asking what’s in it for him.

"Obama Wins!"

Cartman is hired by the Chinese to rig the 2012 election so Obama can force Disney to give “Star Wars” to them. Of course, Eric doesn’t do anything unless there’s something in it for him. His demands are simple: he wants to play Luke’s son in a future movie. Throughout the episode, it’s made clear that Cartman could care less about democracy and the right to vote. He’s a nine-year-old kid who’s focused entirely on getting what he wants. We’re treated to a journey that shows how far he’s willing to go to get whatever he’s set his sights on.

"Mysterion Rises"

Cartman often sees himself as the hero. And in the case of “Coon and Friends,” he literally tries to make himself into one as the titular character. Unfortunately, the rest of the kids disagree with him and go off to form their own superhero club. Most children his age would get mad and then eventually get over it. But not Eric Cartman. Instead, he summons the fictional character of Cthulhu and goes on a killing rampage all to get back at his friends for being mean. Sure, there’s plenty of comedy to be found in the bit, but it certainly goes far beyond any kind of revenge the average person would take.

"Ginger Kids"

No matter how you spin someone like Cartman, there’s no escaping the fact that he’s likely one of the most hate-filled characters on television. We’ve seen him exude distaste for various groups, and in this case, children with red hair. After being pranked by Kyle, Cartman appears to have become a ginger himself. It all backfires when he incites the other gingers around him to exterminate anyone who isn’t as they are. Giant cages and lava pits aside, it’s almost unfathomable how Cartman seems to turn on a dime in favor of killing people just because he feels he’s been wronged. It illustrates just how disturbed he really is.

"Crack Baby Athletic Association"

A whole lot could be said about those who take advantage of others who may not know any better. In this Season 15 episode, Cartman somehow manages to find a way to exploit others for his own personal gains. Knowing full well these kids have been born into addiction, he purposely pits them against each other, all in the name of profit. What’s even worse is that he somehow manages to convince Kyle, one of the straight shooters on the show, that what he’s doing is okay. Exploitation of any kind is awful, but it’s far worse considering the ages of his victims. At least in the end, Cartman does lose out to a smarter businessman.

"Die Hippie, Die"

If there’s one thing Cartman hates more than Kyle, it’s hippies. Never was this more apparent than in Season Nine’s “Die Hippie, Die.” The town becomes overrun with the pot smoking, drum circle pounding freeloaders to which Cartman isn’t having any of it. Sure, they do overtake the town, and frustrate the locals, but that certainly isn’t a reason to kill them off. With a plan to drive them out of town with death metal, we see the extent Cartman is willing to go to rid himself of their presence. His giant drill machine plows through the crowds like they’re nothing more than a field of grass.

"Cartman Sucks"

As a kid, there are things you can get away with that would never be tolerated in the adult world. It’s the sheer innocence and naivety of being young that offers a bit of protection we lose over the years. Still, though, Cartman pushes the boundaries of acceptability when it comes to the other kids. Somewhere in Eric’s head, he thinks that inappropriate photos he’s taken of Butters in his sleep are somehow funny. He gets a laugh out of putting Butters in compromising positions and has no clue how highly offensive and violating it really is. It’s played out in a comedic fashion, but clearly shows us how warped Cartman’s mind really is.

"Le Petit Tourette"

Upon learning of what Tourette’s Syndrome is, Cartman finds a way to make use of the illness to his advantage. He spends most of this episode yelling and screaming out terrible hate speech, all while using his fake condition as an excuse. As offensive as Cartman can be, the cloak of his so-called illness gives him a “golden ticket” to get away with vocal atrocities he’d never otherwise be able to pull off. He never once considers the true weight of having such a condition. That is until his own fakery backfires as he starts spouting off random truths. It’s one of the few times his sinister plans fall apart and he surprisingly seems happy about it.

"The Passion of the Jew"

For almost as long as the show has been on the air, audiences have seen Cartman direct plenty of negativity towards the Jewish faith. Never was this more evident than after Cartman saw “The Passion of the Christ.” He rallied lovers of the movie together under the premise of a fan club. In reality, Eric’s intentions are far more dire than simply fanboying out over a movie. Dressed as Hitler, he leads crowds of people in chants of anti-semitism all while reveling in their adoration. It’s a scary reminder of our own history, and even more disturbing to see it coming from a nine-year-old.

"Up the Down Steroid"

Cartman learns that the winner of the Special Olympics is awarded a $1,000 cash prize. Ever obsessed with acquiring the mighty dollar, he thinks he can simply fake a disability to gain admittance to the games. We are then treated to a montage showing how he’s taking all the stereotypes of disabilities, and turning them into something to make money. It never occurs to Eric that his lack of a disability is a gift that he should be thankful for. Cartman has no clue about the struggles of the people he’s imitating, and how the Special Olympics celebrates their achievements. It’s therefore a gift of karma when we see him fail spectacularly.

"Tonsil Trouble"

After hearing that Cartman has accidentally contracted HIV, Kyle bursts out into uncontrollable laughter. Much like the audience, he sees Eric’s new condition as a taste of karma given the terrible things he’s done over the years. Who wouldn’t want to see someone get a taste of their own medicine after a while? Eric Cartman, that’s who. Enraged by Kyle’s reaction, he purposely infects him with HIV, proving Cartman is nothing more than a selfish child with rage control issues. It’s a terribly spiteful act that further illustrates the lengths Cartman is willing to go to to inflict misery into the lives of others.

"Scott Tenorman Must Die"

How far would you go to get back at your worst enemy? If you’re Eric Cartman, you apparently go all in. Scott Tenorman is the quintessential tormentor that seems to have the upper hand against Eric for much of this Season Five episode. But it’s the final minutes that turned the tide of Cartman's sadistic behavior. We always knew he was mean, but resorting to murder and cannibalism goes far beyond anything audiences ever expected. Yet, even after all is said and done, seeing Cartman drink the tears of a distraught Scott just pushes the whole thing even further. It’s here Cartman went from being just a mean kid to a full-blown sociopath.