Top 5 Facts about Farting

You think that's oxygen you're breathing in right now? Wrong. Chances are, it's somebody else's benchwarmer, or space heater. Doctors in Sheffield, England have actually studied how much the average human farts in a day, concluding that those with a healthy, functioning gastrointestinal tract produce 10 to 20 power puffs as they go about their daily routine. Depending on the person, and probably how much cabbage they eat, that’s up to 1500 milliliters of gas! Almost enough to fill a Big Gulp. Which would make the worst Slurpee flavour ever.

That was also an example of an SBD, or “Silent but Deadly.” Also called “Silent but Violent,” because they always seem to be the worst. But why is that?Part of the answer is that your brain is just not prepared for it. The piece of our brain called the anterior cingulate cortex is responsible for warning you that a foul smell is to follow when it hears a fart, effectively preparing your body. When no sound is emitted, your body has no warning, and therefore, no defense, to combat the rotting corpse smell that has just seeped out of your friend's butt.The rest of the answer has to do with sulphur compounds– but more on that later.

In 1981, a Soviet submarine ran aground while trespassing in Swedish waters. Afterwards, throughout the 80s, the Swedish military logged dozens of suspicious noises every year which they took to be enemy subs, so they were more or less constantly on high alert. However, no foreign subs were ever discovered. Finally, a small team of researchers realized that most of the sounds– in fact, all of the yellow portions of this graph– were actually coming from herring farts. More recently, research has discovered that these herring are using the farts to communicate with each. The bubbles signal a fish’s presence to other fish, helping them stay in tight, protective schools.

Forget hay. Break out the beans! Scientists from Argentina have devised a method to collect methane from cow toots, which helps produce green energy. After installing a tube into the cow's digestive tract, the barn burner then travels to a sack on its back,creating a whoopee cushion from hell. That gas–as much as 300 litres of it per cow per day– can then be converted into electricity. Some farms already have the technology to collect methane from manure as it decomposes, but this balloon-of-death method is more direct and has the potential to seriously reduce one of the planet’s biggest sources of greenhouse gas.

Renowned air biscuit researcher Michael Levitt–who has hundreds of published flatulence studies to his name– conducted experiments and concluded that women have smellier gas than men. And yes, the experiments literally consisted of volunteers eating pinto beans and back blasting into bags, and judges inhaling them. You thought you had a bad job. The likely culprit of the odour: higher amounts of hydrogen sulphide.H2S is one of the more pungent components of panty burps, so more H2S equals more blech. Sorry ladies.On the upside, scientists have discovered that our cells use minute amounts of hydrogen sulfide to protect themselves, so there’s a slight possibility that farts might be useful in preventing problems like strokes and heart attacks.

So, will you be just a little more appreciative of farts now? And what’s your favourite word for “fart?” For more socially acceptable Top 10s and still taboo Top 5s, be sure to subscribe to Watchmojo.com.