Top10 Jack Black Lines We Will Never Stop Quoting

Does this guy make anyone else wanna start a rock band? Welcome to WatchMojo and today we’re counting down our picks for the Top 10 Jack Black Lines We’ll Never Stop Quoting.

For this list, we’re scouring Jack Black’s cinematic back catalogue for his most memorable and quote-worthy lines. Now let’s get out there and melt some faces!

“Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle” (2017)
The idea of being sucked into a video game may be a dream for some of us, but not if you’re a teenage girl who suddenly becomes… well, not that. Jack Black plays Professor Sheldon Oberon, who just so happens to become young Bethany’s avatar in the game “Jumanji” - and honestly, you haven’t lived until you’ve seen him/her learning how to… uh, relieve his/herself or teach sexy. But of course, the sudden realization that she’s lost her youthful looks and traded them for a pith helmet and a belly is really one of the movie’s highlights. Self-aware, on point, and delivered only the way Jack Black can, this line and this scene set us up for a host of hilarity to come.

“School of Rock” (2003)
This movie is basically a greatest hits montage of Jack Black quotes and moments; almost every scene is gold. But when substitute-substitute teacher Dewey Finn [aka Ned Schneebly] is forced to invent a math-based song on the fly, we get this genius line, which has long been ingrained in the memories of moviegoers, music lovers and math students everywhere. Whether you’re trying to motivate someone to do their homework or just riffing through your favorite Jack Black lyrics, this one always seems to pop up. If you wanted proof of Black’s musical magnetism, just listen to how he makes math problems rock.

“Orange County” (2002)
“Slightly manic stoner with a heart of gold” is a phrase that could be used to describe many of his roles, but Lance in “Orange County” is so much more than that: he’s almost a lazy, lousy moral compass to his brother Shaun, and as such he’s constantly appearing out of nowhere, offering words of wisdom and asking for favors [“Shaun, have you seen my piss”]. Jack Black stealing the show is a given - whether it’s with a starring role or a supporting one. But the scene where he’s trying to reassure his brother that everything will be fine even if he doesn’t get into Stanford is so quintessential and quotable we can’t ignore it. Well, can’t argue with that.

“The Holiday” (2006)
If you’ve ever wanted to see the softer side of Jack Black, might we direct you to the Christmas comedy “The Holiday”? As a romantic lead, Black gets a bit sappier than usual, but seeing him stretch some new acting muscles through his sweet banter with Kate Winslet is a blast. In this scene, the two are sitting at a piano, chatting and cracking jokes, when this line comes out of the blue and hits us with all the feels. To any funny guys out there looking to get serious and surprise their love with a romantic musical analogy: this is a good place to start. But of course, it wouldn’t be a Jack Black movie if there weren’t at least one or two very distinct line deliveries [chocolate-covered macaroons].

“Kung Fu Panda” (2008)
If you thought Jack Black was animated in live action, just wait till you see him in cartoon form. The energy and bravado of Black’s voice are instantly recognizable in this animated comedy flick, where he plays Po, a wannabe kung fu hero. And from the opening sequence, we get a very clear idea of what kind of hero he is - a dreamer, basically. Fantasizing about his greatness, Po tells us the story of a heroic warrior - himself, obviously - and while he attempts to stay humble, his tale littered with fantastic, ego-fuelled lines like this one. Delusional but lovable, Po is a great character that allows Black’s irreverent style to shine through.

“Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny” (2006)
If you’re anything like us and are looking for a movie where JB is at his ridiculous rock and roll best, look no further than this Tenacious D vehicle. Inappropriate and awesome from start to finish, “The Pick of Destiny” is really a journey of musical discovery, culminating in a rock-off with Satan himself. Insults are traded, deals are made and - just before the stakes are brought to stratospheric heights - Black hits us with this line. If you’re ever doing a gig and someone starts heckling you, just drop this one on them and you’re good to go!

“High Fidelity” (2000)
Music snobs unite! “High Fidelity” is a movie for music fans, by music fans. It’s about obscure b-sides, annoying customers and top five countdowns. Essential to the relatable atmosphere created in the Championship Vinyl store is the short-tempered Barry, played by Jack Black. Barry never withholds his opinion on anything, be it Bob Dylan albums or items of clothing. And in this scene, we get one of Barry’s finest moments, with a Bill Cosby sweater put-down. His over-the-top emphasis on the word Cosby is textbook JB, and if you ever see anyone wearing anything like Cusack’s threads in this movie, it would be rude not to pull out the Cosby line.

“Tropic Thunder” (2008)
This movie is responsible for giving us fat and bald Tom Cruise, Simple Jack and Robert Downey, Jr.’s Oscar-nominated turn as a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude - thank you, movie gods. So, you can see that the ensemble cast is absolutely stacked; among them is Black as Jeff Portnoy, a comedian known primarily for fart jokes… as well as inappropriate public.

“Nacho Libre” (2006)
“Tenacious D” showed us the silly side of rock, and “Nacho Libre” gives us the silly side of wrestling. Directed by Jared Hess, whose unique mind also gave us the dry, awkward comedy “Napoleon Dynamite,” “Nacho Libre” is littered with cringey moments, and - true to form - Black makes each one of them pop. With so much ridiculous dialogue to choose from, it was tough to nail down one quote from this movie, but we’re going with this corny line… ew, sorry. Anyway. Like most of the movie, this line has drama in spades, when it’s totally unnecessary. And we love it!

Before we unveil our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions:

Ghostbusters
“Be Kind Rewind” (2008)

“Die, You Alien S***h***!”
“Mars Attacks!” (1996)

Toast
“Nacho Libre” (2006)

Kathleen Turner Overdrive
“High Fidelity” (2000)

“Cuckoo!”
“Shallow Hal” (2001)

“School of Rock” (2003)
We’re back to school for our number one pick, with Jack Black’s erratic substitute teacher rocking our world. While he’s perhaps a questionable educator and role model, he does excel musically - and our favorite Dewey Finn original is “The Legend of the Rent.” Wanna get your head banging? Sing along with his blunt-but-true line about what it takes to be hardcore. It’s a hella catchy song in a movie filled with hella catchy songs, and watching Black jump side-to-side, rocking out to his own musical creation, is the stuff comedy dreams are made of. Shine on, you crazy diamond.