If you’ve ever seen a Jane Austen flick, you know that society used to have a lot of rules. There were specific ways you were supposed to dress, act, eat, talk, and interact with other people, and the penalty for breaking those rules was death—or death of your reputation, anyway. And if you’ve ever seen a Jane Austen flick, you know the two were practically synonymous.
We’re a lot more live-and-let-live than the days of Mr. Darcy. But that doesn’t mean that every single rule was unnecessary. In fact, there is some antiquated etiquette we should bring back.
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RSVP for Events
In Austen’s day, the only available ways to communicate were by letters and word of mouth. These days, you can call, text, email, IM, DM, FaceTime, Marco Polo, or literally just click a button on a Facebook event page. So why are we all so awful at letting people know when we’re going to show up for a party? RSVPing isn’t just about common courtesy. It also tells the host how much food and parking they need to have ready.
Good Posture
We’ve all seen old-fashioned images of finishing school students balancing books on their heads to improve their posture. The idea seems silly now. How does bad posture hurt anyone? But sitting up straight helps communicate that you are interested in what other people have to say. Not to mention, lousy posture invites muscle pain. If you’d rather not walk around your house with a book on your head, try:
- Walking and sitting up straight
- Taking time to stretch
- Sitting a little closer to the steering wheel
- Improving your desk setup
- Getting a massage (No, really. It actually works)
Not Finger-Pointing
“When you point, three fingers are pointing back at you.†Yeah? Well, those three fingers are mine, so why not use the easiest way to gesture to distant objects? In addition to making you come off as accusatory, some cultures—Cambodia and Malaysia, for instance—find pointing with one’s index finger rude or even demeaning. If you want to be a true global citizen, try gesturing with an open palm instead.
Don’t Touch Strangers
Different cultures have different views of personal space. Some are very open about standing close to a speaker, touching, or even kissing them. Others surround themselves in an imaginary bubble, and popping it is uncomfortable for everyone involved. Because you can’t necessarily guess which side of the spectrum a stranger is on, it’s best to keep contact at a minimum beyond the traditional handshake.
It’s good that we don’t make people pariahs for using the wrong fork at dinner anymore. But there are still plenty of old-fashioned etiquette rules we really should bring back. In doing so, we don’t just make ourselves look good, but we also end up being more considerate of those around us.
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