Top 10 Things British People Don't Realise Are Weird

While not a strictly British idiosyncrasy, wigs remain an odd part of the Brit barrister’s dress code. Introduced in the 17th century, they’re meant to provide barristers with a sense of uniformity and anonymity, while also creating an imposing image to hammer home the supremacy of the law. Ironically, in the years prior to the introduction of the wig, barristers were expected to keep their hair short… for a lot of the same reasons. Though these eye-catching headpieces are used elsewhere in the Commonwealth, their ties to Britain and British history feel especially strong - perhaps because of all those quintessential crime dramas. But still, they’re an odd sight for the rest of the world.

While increasingly not uncommon in most major cities – due to the lack of space in most modern flats – coming across a washing machine in a kitchen continues to baffle non-Brits, and in particular, the Americans. Whereas our cousins from across the pond prefer to devote entire rooms or closets to their washers and dryers, we decided long ago that the best place for them was clearly somewhere between the dust bin and the kitchen sink. And there they’ve stayed. As such, it’s easy to forget that all across the world there are families folding their clothes in the comfort of a laundry room, flummoxed by us doing laundry within arm’s reach of the toaster.

Satire, irony, self-deprecation, deadpan delivery and a desire – nay, a need – to avoid sincerity at all costs. These are the things that make British humour unique. Perhaps Ricky Gervais summed it up best when he said that Brits “mercilessly take the piss out of people we like or dislike.” To some, this can come off as rude or nasty, but Brits know that deep down it’s all in good fun. British humour is about being able to make fun of yourself, something that flies directly in the face of big, brash US comedy. A good way to tell if you’ve just been run over by a solid British joke is if you find yourself asking “were they joking, or not?”

This one should be obvious… but apparently it isn’t. Orange juice comes with “juicy bits” or “no bits” - right? But those “bits” are pulp across the Atlantic, a decidedly less off-putting word. While the American option is likely more universal, it’s not like our version is any less an accurate description. And it pays homage to those other great British linguistic traits; not saying exactly what we mean, and turning even everyday things into a mild euphemism.

The ever-popular spotted dick is a traditional pudding that’s really quite tasty. But those who didn’t grow up with this served after dinner tend to only snigger at its name, before declining it in favour of a less risqué cheesecake. Such a staple is spotted dick, though, that there are still multiple canned varieties available, if you’re in need of a quick fix. And, if “nudge, nudge, wink, wink” food is really all you’re after, then why not have Scotch woodcock for breakfast and toad-in-the-hole for your main? For a non-Brit looking in, our menus both boggle the mind and tempt the taste buds!

How and why this is still a thing is pretty baffling in itself… All across the world, other humans have evolved to the point where they’re no longer required to either burn or freeze their hands off when they go to the loo. And yet, in these parts, having two separate taps for hot and cold water remains the norm. Still, seeing someone who’s not accustomed to the set-up try and fail to wash their hands without minor injury is kinda funny… Maybe that’s why we refuse to change.

Too often have we been labelled as cold and unaffectionate! For too long has the world believed us to be an emotionless folk! And how do we prove that we like (or at least tolerate) other people? By signing off texts, tweets and most other messages with a single, lower case “x”. For those not in the know, it represents a “kiss”. For the Brits scratching their heads right about now, this small gesture actually isn’t standard everywhere else. And, since the invention of emojis, it’s become a cute call-back to a bygone age. As to the matter of how many kisses you should or shouldn’t put… no one really knows for sure.

This one always throws tourists for a loop. While it’s common in North America for patrons to tip their waiters, waitresses, and bar staff, it’s simply not a thing round this way, or across most of Europe in fact. And maybe this entry, more than any other on this list, is one that we wind up stumbling over too… Because our natural inclination not to tip can get us into trouble on our holidays, all while supposedly confirming the assumption that we’re a rude and uncaring bunch. It’s not that we don’t like you, it’s just that we don’t tip.

Nothing screams delicious like brown sauce! But, incredibly, only in the UK. A traditional condiment with a stand-out flavour, it does the job for cooked breakfasts, bacon rolls, anything with chips… but the rest of the world simply hasn’t caught on. Sure, you can get steak sauce elsewhere, and apparently endless variations of BBQ sauce, but the humble “brown” is by contrast a rare and unusual delicacy. For non-brits, even the experience of asking for it at a restaurant confounds… It’s brown. It’s sauce. It’s brown sauce. Easy.

The United States is the 4th largest country by area on earth, while the whole of the United Kingdom ranks as only the 78th largest. How then, can Britain have so many distinctive accents? It’s something to endlessly baffle Americans, and the rest of the world, who can’t seem to wrap their heads around the idea that people who live just down the road from each other have a completely different way of speaking. If you go by Hollywood movies alone, then we all fall into one of two camps - ardent cockney or softly spoken Queen’s English. In the real world, though, that’s very far from the case.