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Top 10 Reasons Why The Krusty Krab Should Get Shut Down

VO: Phoebe de Jeu WRITTEN BY: Joey Turner
If it weren’t the home of the Krabby Patty, no one would be crazy enough to eat here. Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we’re counting down our picks for the top 10 reasons why the Krusty Krab should be shut down. For this list, we’re looking at why Bikini Bottom’s premier restaurant on “SpongeBob SquarePants” isn’t as great as the townsfolk claim it is. If you haven’t been warned about these hazards before, there WILL be spoilers.
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If it weren’t the home of the Krabby Patty, no one would be crazy enough to eat here. Welcome to WatchMojo, and today we’re counting down our picks for the top 10 reasons why the Krusty Krab should be shut down.

For this list, we’re looking at why Bikini Bottom’s premier restaurant on “SpongeBob SquarePants” isn’t as great as the townsfolk claim it is. If you haven’t been warned about these hazards before, there WILL be spoilers.

#10: Mr. Krabs Exploits Patrick Sideshow


Patrick Star has been a Krusty Krab regular for years and even worked there a few times - although it never lasts long. During one of these short-lived stints, Patrick entertains the customers by constantly falling on his face, while Mr. Krabs cashes in on his clumsiness – disregarding the starfish’s injuries. Later on, Krabs sets up an even more dangerous stunt designed to do some serious damage. Fortunately, the stunt fails and the customers take their money back by force. Patrick is fired yet again, but if Krabs willingly puts his employees through so much physical abuse just to make a quick buck, who - besides SpongeBob - would even WANT to work for such a miserly crustacean?

#9: Krabby Patties Are Kind of Dangerous


Everybody loves Krabby Patties, but these delicious sandwiches may be more trouble than they’re worth. For starters, they’re extremely fattening - eat enough and you’ll either risk a heart attack, or they’ll go right to your thighs … and then you’ll literally explode. Inversely, if you don’t have a Krabby Patty for an extended period of time, you’ll suffer from Krabby Patty withdrawal. Side effects include painful stomach cramps until the afflicted gets their Patty. Probably the worst thing about this greasy sandwich is how it’s treated more like an addictive drug than a burger – if hungry customers don’t get their Patties, they’ll riot and tear Bikini Bottom apart - ushering in an underwater apocalypse over fast food.

#8: Mr. Krabs Steals from Employees


It’s not enough for Mr. Krabs to swindle money from customers, but from his own employees too? Krabs pays his employees very little as it is, but every now and then, he’ll deduct money from their paychecks not just for damages or poor work performance, but for completely insane reasons –such as breathing, standing, and existing - just to raise profits. What’s even worse is that he’s been said to have SpongeBob and Squidward pay HIM to keep their jobs – even though Mr. Krabs would be completely lost without his golden boys. Making a living on minimum wage is hard enough, but with a skinflint like Krabs, employees are lucky to walk away with anything at all.

#7: Mandatory Patronage


The Krab’s crustaceous, penny-pinching owner has a very strict set of rules for his customers. It’s mandatory to order a side of fries; napkins and refills cost extra; and there are absolutely no freebies for anyone – royalty or not. In fact, according to Mr. Krabs, all money brought into the Krusty Krab MUST be spent. Even people who aren’t hungry are dragged in and forced to order food. Sure, there’s a money back guarantee, but it’s so small it’s almost impossible to see. No matter what it takes, Krabs will make sure that nobody even goes NEAR his restaurant without emptying their wallets.

#6: Cruelty to Animals


When Krabs discovers that customers love SpongeBob’s Jelly Patties, he orders his chipper employee to catch every jellyfish in Jellyfish Fields for him. What SpongeBob doesn’t know is that his stingy boss is keeping all the jellyfish in a factory that milks and squeezes the jelly out of them – harming and possibly killing them in the process. If poaching wasn’t terrible enough, he even forces snails to hunt for pocket change for him – no matter how much it harms the poor creatures. If animal protection organizations were to get involved, they’d have Krabs’ head for his crimes and take his livelihood with him.

#5: Krabby Land


When summer vacation comes around, Mr. Krabs always looks forward to children spending their hard-earned allowances at the Krusty Krab. One insidious method of luring them over includes building an insanely cheap playground named Krabby Land –which is so unsafe that he has to hand out coloring books/liability waivers. He only disappoints the kids more when he promises to bring in park mascot “Krabby the Clown”, then just puts on a fake nose and tie to play the role himself. Parents should probably order their Krabby Kiddie Meals to go - or better yet, just take the kids anywhere else.

#4: Reselling Old Food


One man’s trash is another man’s treasure – at least that’s Mr. Krab’s policy. If he comes across a moldy or rotten Patty left out in the open for too long, his first instinct is to reheat it and resell it. You think that’s disgusting; Krabs has also been known to reuse buns that have been flushed down the toilet. Someone needs to tell him that while wasting food is bad, trying to vend a tainted patty to save a few nickels and dimes isn’t worth the risk of poisoning customers. If anything, Krabs should probably lose MORE money dealing with lawsuits and medical bills.

#3: Overworked & Underpaid Employees


If you’re looking for a job in the fast food business, look elsewhere, because being a part of the Krusty Crew is a greasy nightmare. Mr. Krabs not only charges employees to work for him, he also makes them work after hours with no overtime, and compensates them with fake money. As if that wasn’t bad enough, he’s completely against days off - so forget vacations. Worst of all, employees have to take on 24-hour shifts – literally working day and night until they either collapse from exhaustion or mentally snap from the pressure of a gruelling dead-end job.

#2: Numerous Health Violations


While the Krusty Krab has a certain rustic charm, sanitary conditions leave a lot to be desired. It’s usually pretty grimy, what with the walls oozing green slime every other night, and there’s always a risk of a fungus outbreak or food poisoning. One of the restaurant’s most disgusting health violations occurred when Mr. Krabs began feeding his customers excessive grease to compete with Plankton; not only was the place an unsightly mess, but the patrons became horribly sick, lethargic, and addicted to the unhealthy “flavoring”. Krabs’ gross negligence and inability to clean up his act have put both his patrons and his beloved restaurant in danger; he’d be shut down for good if SpongeBob wasn’t around to save him.

Before we unveil our number one pick, here are a few dishonorable mentions.

No Wet Floor Sign

Idiotic terminations

Severely Understaffed

Poor Food Preparation:

Ridiculous Prices

#1: The Nasty Patty Incident


After a misunderstanding, Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob mistake a health inspector for an imposter hoping to score some free food. They try to poison him with a rotten Krabby Patty, but when they realize their mistake and think he’s actually dead, they work together to dispose of the body. This is testament enough to why the Krusty Krab should close down – it’s run by a conniving cheapskate who lies, steals, and even covers up murder to protect his bottom line. And yet he STILL passes the health inspection. If there was any justice under the sea, Eugene Krabs would be locked away in jail, and his fast-food business would be laid to rest.
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