Top 10 Family Guy Would You Rathers
Decisions, decisions. Welcome to WatchMojo, and today, we’re counting down our picks for the Top 10 Family Guy Would You Rathers.
For this list, we’re looking at the best examples of Peter Griffin and his friends playing the game “Would You Rather.”
#10: Susan Boyle or a Doll
“Lottery Fever”
The way Peter and his friends play “Would You Rather,” the hypothetical questions posed are both very cruel and absurd, as is expected from “Family Guy.” In this episode, Peter is hanging out with Quagmire and Joe at the Drunken Clam when he asks them who they would rather be intimate with: Scottish singer Susan Boyle or a blowup doll that’s been used by a fraternity. Weighing his options, Joe asks about how clean the doll is, as if he’d take his chances with the doll if he could avoid Susan Boyle. Before we get a reply from Joe or Quagmire on their decision, Quagmire cuts in with a lame “Would You Rather” that’s really an investment pitch.
#9: Gina Gershon or Jenny McCarthy
“Believe It or Not, Joe’s Walking on Air”
While hanging out at a clubhouse, Quagmire asks the gang who they’d rather have sex with: a very pregnant Gina Gershon or Jenny McCarthy after she’s been in a car accident. This question only raises further questions. How far along is Gina Gershon to be considered “very pregnant?” How badly was Jenny McCarthy injured from her car accident? Was she so horribly disfigured she’s no longer attractive? Unfortunately, before we could get more details surrounding the question, Peter dismisses it and asks why these kinds of questions always come down to sex.
#8: Blind or… Little Person
“The Perfect Castaway”
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This is the first example of Peter playing “Would You Rather.” While marooned on a desert island, Peter passes the time by asking Cleveland, Joe, and Quagmire this would you rather hypothetical. Cleveland answers that he would want to be blind because such a condition would improve his other senses, while Quagmire and Joe agree that being blind is better. Peter tries to make them reconsider by saying that, as little people, they could get into whimsical adventures. Most would see being blind or being a little person as being “differently abled” and a challenge, but Peter and his friends focus on the possible upsides. We guess.
#7: Jabba the Hutt or a Service Droid
“Blue Harvest”
No place is immune from Family Guy’s “Would You Rathers.” Not even a “galaxy far, far away.” During Peter’s recounting of “A New Hope,” Quagmire is given the role of C-3PO and Cleveland is R2-D2. While they’re stuck on the desert planet of Tatooine, C-3P0 asks R2-D2 if he’d rather have sex with Jabba the Hutt or a service droid. R2-D2 takes offense to this question as his father was a service droid. Leave it to the Quagmire version of C-3PO to ask such a perverted “Star Wars” related question.
#6: Queen Latifah or Halle Berry
“Road to Rupert”
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In this episode, because Peter got his license suspended, Meg has to drive him around. So Peter gets to hang in the back of the car with his friends, and they all act like idiots. A drunk Peter then asks if they’d rather have sex with Queen Latifah or Halle Berry after she’s been dead for six hours. A drunk Cleveland has to think that one over, left to wonder if Halle Berry is attractive enough to commit the horrible act of necrophilia. But Meg turns around before we find out if Cleveland would sink so low.
#5: Leonard Nimoy/Megan Fox Hybrid or a Solo Roofing Job
“New Kidney in Town”
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At the Drunken Clam, Quagmire asks Peter and Joe if they would rather have sex with a being that had Megan Fox’s body and Leonard Nimoy’s head, or would they complete a roofing job on a condo alone instead. Being on the fence, Peter asks Quagmire if the Fox/Nimoy hybrid has Megan Fox’s neck or Leonard Nimoy’s. Upon finding out that the being has Nimoy’s neck, Peter goes with the roofing job. However, Joe decides to have sex with the Fox/Nimoy hybrid. Whether it’s unpleasant sex or taxing manual labor, these questions always have unpleasant outcomes.
#4: Angelina Jolie/Cleveland or Nothing
“Believe It or Not, Joe’s Walking on Air”
During a card game, Quagmire asks Peter if he’d have sex with Cleveland if that guarenteed him sex with Angelina Jolie. This question was asked right in front of Cleveland, which really put Peter on the spot. Peter ultimately decides that he would be willing to have sex with Cleveland if that meant he could have sex with Angelina Jolie. Flattered with Peter’s answer, Cleveland thanks him. Even for a “Would You Rather,” the setup to this question is strange. Why would Angelina Jolie agree to this? Is sex with Angelina supposed to be a reward for having sex with Cleveland?
#3: John Forsythe or Sean Connery
“Baby Not on Board”
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Sitting in a steam room at a spa, Peter asks Cleveland, Joe, and Quagmire if they’d rather have sex with John Forsythe or Sean Connery. Tough choice considering one man was the voice on the speakerphone on “Charlie’s Angels” and the other man played James Bond. However, Peter and his friends all agree that they would rather have sex with John Forsythe. Joe starts to explain what he finds wrong with Sean Connery, when it is revealed that Connery has been sitting in the steam room with them the whole time and overheard everything. Connery’s feelings were hurt because he was passed up over John Forsythe.
#2: Massage from a Man or Surgery from a Female Doctor
“The Splendid Source”
On a road trip, Peter asks Cleveland, Joe, and Quagmire if they’d rather get a massage from a man or life saving surgery from a female doctor. While the guys struggle to come up with an answer, Peter makes it more interesting by making the masseuse gay and female doctor hispanic. Not able to put their racial biases aside, the group assumes that surgery from a female hispanic doctor is an automatic death sentence. When they’re unable to reach a decision, Peter then asks a different question about Amy Winehouse and Anderson Cooper.
#1: Janet Reno or Ethan Suplee
“Believe It or Not, Joe’s Walking on Air”
Tired of questions that are just about sex, Peter tries to change it up by asking Cleveland, Joe, and Quagmire who they would rather start a small business with: former Attorney General Janet Reno “after a safari” or the fat guy from “My Name Is Earl,” presumably referring to actor Ethan Suplee. Quagmire thinks it sounds like a sex question disguised as something else, but Peter assures him that it isn’t. After the conversation moves toward general details of starting a small business, Joe becomes impatient and wants to go back to the topic of sex.
