Top 10 Games Where You Kill Santa!

*sigh* We couldn’t start with anything a little more jolly? Well, considering this is a list about killing Santa, I suppose not. This un-merry monstrosity uses his magic bag to send out demonic toys that are ready to straight-up murder you. It’s one of Santa’s most disturbing appearances in video games, depicted with jagged teeth and a long droopy mustache. No, we don’t want to sit on Santa’s lap! The only redeeming factor in this is when you finally kill the fat man and his ugly mug. The nightmare might be over, but you might not view Santa’s Workshop the same way again.

Back in Duke’s glory days, “Duke Nukem 3D” saw a meaty dose of expansion packs. One such popular pack was the “Nuclear Winter” expansion, where Santa has become brainwashed by aliens. After Duke blasts the holiday spirit out of Pig Cops, Enforcers, and elves, he must square off with St. Nick, who is equipped with an RPG, a chaingun, a shotgun, a jetpack, and…steroids. C’mon, Santa, you’re better than that! He’s one of the weakest bosses, but it’s pretty difficult to land a decent shot on him. Any chance we could get a sequel with the Grinch involved?

Yeah, you remember this game, right? If you haven’t been around since the early days of this popular Flash game, “Happy Wheels” has added more playable characters, such as good ole Kris Kringle. Complete with a pair of elves to fly his sleigh, he’ll “ho ho ho” his way about the level until you get him killed. We feel a little bad getting the big guy slaughtered…but, we tend to get distracted in the excessive gore and violence. How shall he die this time? Bottle run gone bad? Being a participant in sword-throwing? No, wait! We got it!...Ball throw death!

What could be better than a classic zombified Santa? How about a maniacal mall Santa with an army of murderous elves? Well, you ain't getting the zombie one, sorry to tell you. In “Dead Rising 4”, there is an optional boss fight with a Maniac called “Sadistic Claus”, who wields an electric axe. In typical “Dead Rising” fashion, this fight becomes a holly jolly bloodbath, and you'll be glad you've killed this mall Santa when it’s over. Seriously, who wouldn't go crazy after Santa talks about their mom?

Alright, at this point, we’re no stranger to evil killer Santas. We’ve seen demon Santa, hypnotized Santa, psychopath Santa. What’s Killing Floor got to offer? Are you kidding me?! Cyborg Santa?! Yes, Santa has sided with the ZEDS, and it's time to take him out! If you were a lucky participant in the first “Twisted Christmas” event in 2010, one of the bosses you could encounter was Cyborg Santa. He’s basically a new skin for the Patriarch, but he’s got his own voice lines, which is kind of cool and frightening at the same time. As with any “Killing Floor” boss, Cyborg Santa isn’t going to be a fruitcake-walk. There’s also the Santa skin for the Bloat to contend with, so you better be equipped with your best weapons.

There’s no question that “ClayFighter” is one of the weirdest franchises ever created. In this fighting game, you can play as a monstrous snowman, a jack-o-lantern, a cybernetic bunny, a living blob of taffy. However, what really takes the cake is…Sumo Santa. Don’t worry, he is wearing a loincloth. “ClayFighter 63 1/3” gives Santa an entire move set using his enormous belly and butt. Throughout the fight, he can get pretty obnoxious, which makes beating him all the more satisfying. Ugh, he just looks so gross! Better finish him with a Claytality so we don’t have to see him again.

While on his quest to retrieve the Thongs of Virtue, DeathSpank finds himself at the North Pole in search of the Thong of Generosity. Who could possibly be in possession of that? Well, if ClayFighter’s Sumo Santa didn’t traumatize you, seeing Santa in a thong will certainly do the trick. Corrupted by the Thong of Generosity, this Santa Claus is hell-bent on making Christmas the top holiday. However, he can’t fight DeathSpank, since he’s on the “Nice” list, and sends Coal Monsters to kill our Hero of the Downtrodden. At least he’s playing by his own rules, in some way. It’s an honorable fight that ends in the jolly man’s demise, and it’s one of the most hilarious in gaming.

It's hard for us to imagine Santa as anything like a corporate a-hole. Leave it to the “Sam & Max” series to help us with that. After enjoying what appears to be a harmless plate of jello, Santa becomes possessed by the Shambling Corporate Presence, turning him into a paranoid corporate boss…or, so we thought. Turns out, his fears got the better of him, and he begins shooting his elves at the slightest suspicion. After a complicated shoot-out, Sam and Max manage to capture Santa, shipping him off as a present for Satan. Guess there might be a cold day in Hell after all.

This time, killing Santa actually saved him! Upon defeating the Frost Gigas, you find out you were fighting Santa Claus the whole time. How did he become the Frost Gigas? Well, he was just trying to find a way to make children believe in him again. Awe… This moment may not be as satisfyingly psychotic as the other entries, but it’s at the number two spot for how this boss battle surprised us and touched our hearts. Besides, that Rudolph cameo earns some brownie points, doesn’t it?

Leave it to the “Saints Row” series to take something normal and get insane with it. Santa is trapped within Zinyak’s simulator, and it’s up to the Saints to bust him out and save Christmas. The whole story is a wild ride, from piloting Santa’s jet-powered sleigh to blasting evil Gingerbread Men to bits. And it all leads up to an epic fight against an evil Santa…who ends up getting impaled on Steelport’s star. Once all is said and done, you’ll be able to call up Santa to have as a homie! Yeah, we see those gears turning in your head…