Top 10 Most Hilarious Chandler Bing Quotes
#10: A Complete Nightmare “The One with the List”
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Chandler arguably has worse luck with women than Joey and Ross. So when the latter finds himself having to choose between Rachel and his then-current girlfriend Julie, Chandler is less than sympathetic. Chandler compares having the love of two gorgeous women to other non-problems like having a wallet too small for 50 dollar bills or having diamond shoes that are too tight. This is some classic Chandler sarcasm, and it’s a line we love to bust out ourselves whenever someone we know complains needlessly. What’s that? Fueling your private jet costs too much? That must be SO terrible.
#9: A Bad Situation “The One Where Chandler Crosses the Line”
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During season 4, Chandler finds his friendship with Joey tested like never before. The cause is the fact that he finds himself falling for Joey’s girlfriend, Kathy. The two of them have incredible chemistry, and one night, when Joey’s out with another girl, they act on their feelings with a kiss. After the initial joy wears off, both realize what they’ve done. Chandler makes the suggestion that they swallow their feelings, even if they’re unhappy forever. The fact that he sarcastically asks Kathy if this idea sounds good makes this otherwise dramatic scene hilarious.
#8: Uncomfortable “The One with the Proposal, Part 1”
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This one pretty much sums Chandler up in a nutshell, as well as anyone else who uses humor to ease tension or to get themselves out of a sticky situation. Be forewarned though: this technique could backfire and you may have to resort to being candid instead. Chandler learned this firsthand when he and Monica bumped into Monica’s ex, Richard, and his date, on the very same night that Chandler intended to propose. Surprised by the unexpected turn of events, they begin by exchanging pleasantries and Chandler makes small talk the only way he knows how: by cracking a joke. Noticing that his quip about Lisa’s mustache, or lack thereof, doesn’t go over too well, he quickly introduces himself with this - and it couldn’t be any more perfect. [Hi, I'm Chandler, I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable.]
#7: Tanning “The One with Ross' Tan”
Ross’ experience with getting a spray-on tan leads to all manner of hilarity. The hapless guy makes several crucial mistakes during the process, leading to his ultimately getting a quadruple dose of the spray on his front. In between sessions, he goes to Monica and Chandler’s apartment and shows off the unfortunate results that have him looking like… well, this. Upon telling Chandler he went to the place his wife suggested, Chandler inquires if that place was, in fact, the SUN. It’s a classic sarcastic Chandler moment and punctuates what is already a funny situation, making it even funnier.
#6: Scottish “The One with Joey's New Brain”
Getting married can be a stressful event, and while friends and family can often offer support and aid, they can also be a source of stress. Such is the case for Monica and Chandler when they discover what Ross has planned for their wedding. One day, the two of them overhear loud, poorly played bagpipe music coming from across the street. They’re horrified to discover that it’s Ross, with Chandler realizing that Ross plans to play at their wedding, after Ross asked him earlier about his Scottish heritage. When Monica rhetorically demands to know why his family is Scottish, Chandler shoots back with: [“Why is YOUR family ROSS?!”] The man has some dang witty replies and this is one of our favorites.
#5: Gum “The One with the Blackout”
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Early on in “Friends,” we get one of the funniest Chandler storylines of all. During a blackout, Chandler is separated from the rest of the gang and trapped in an ATM vestibule. There’s good news and bad news. The good news – he’s trapped in there with supermodel, Jill Goodacre. The bad news – he’s trapped in there with supermodel, Jill Goodacre. We’re offered a rare glimpse into Chandler’s neurotic inner thoughts as he stresses out over every little thing. Even something as simple as being offered gum sends him into knots. However, it leads to one of his funniest quotes, in which Chandler claims that her offer of gum would be “perfection.” This is the kind of awkward quote that makes Chandler very relatable.
#4: Parachute “The One with the Birth”
Ross’ ex-wife having a baby brings out lots of reactions in the group as they spend hours in the waiting room. Monica in particular feels envious of the new mothers she sees. Chandler, trying to help out, posits that if neither of them are married by the time they reach the age of 40, they could get together and have children. However, Monica responds by wondering why he thinks she won’t be married at 40. Caught off-guard, Chandler panics and eventually jokes that what he thought was an imaginary parachute is actually a knapsack, even diving over the back of his chair. It’s a great moment that not only foreshadows his relationship with Monica, but is hysterical and sympathetic to boot. We’ve all found ourselves in a situation like this.
#3: Advice “The One with the Tea Leaves”
The friendship between Joey and Rachel is usually fairly strong. However, things get awkward between them after Joey confesses to being in love with her while on a friend date. Worried over what to do, Rachel asks Monica and Chandler, and while Chandler offers a reassurance that things will get better with time, Rachel presses him for specific advice. [“I’m not great at the advice…can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”] This quote is another one that perfectly encapsulates Chandler as a character. Sarcasm is definitely his wheelhouse and we certainly defer to his expertise in that area. That’s kind of what this list is about. Cheese is still good consolation though.
#2: Hopeless in Love “The One with the Metaphorical Tunnel”
When Chandler begins dating Janice… again, he worries about commitment, but he takes the guys’ advice and decides to face his fear. Unfortunately, it goes a little too well. In his eagerness to commit to Janice, he begins suggesting things that are way too much, way too fast. This scares Janice away, which Chandler even realizes in the moment. [“Don't go. I've scared you. I've said too much. I'm hopeless and awkward and desperate for love!”] This might be his most relatable quote of all! Of course, not all of us chase down our love interests on the street, but…most of us have had some pretty desperate moments in our pursuit of love. Before we get to our top pick, here are a few honorable mentions: Bo Peep, “The One with Barry and Mindy's Wedding” From That Smirk He Gives, You Can Tell He’s Proud of This One Knock Knock, “The One with the Male Nanny” Door Knobs, Meanwhile, Prefer Turns of Phrase Nervous, “The One Where Ross and Rachel... You Know” We Understand This Was a Common Problem for Early Hominins Running Into Janice, “The One Where Estelle Dies” The Rest of Destiny’s Child, On the Other Hand… Electric Drill, “The One with Frank Jr.” Joey Tribbiani: Handyman?
#1: Q-Tip “The One with Ross' New Girlfriend”
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While Joey and Chandler are totally best friend goals, Chandler can sometimes be exasperated by his buddy’s seeming lack of intelligence. This arguably reaches its peak when he asks Joey for help in finding a tailor. Joey recommends a guy he’s been going to for years and struggles to remember not only what age he was when he got his first suit, but also “when 1990 was.” Chandler delivers an epic burn on the source of Joey’s memory troubles. [“Okay, you have to stop the Q-tip when there’s resistance!”] Although his sarcasm at Joey’s advice on what to say to his tailor when Chandler sees him is also gold, this Q-tip quote is not only our favorite, but also reportedly Matthew Perry’s too!
